Facebook 'couples'

[Lolimax]

A few friends of mine on Facebook have become couples- ie instead of Jane Smith they've either become Jane and John Smith if married or Jane Smith and Harry Whatever if not. And it really annoys me. Firstly because I don't actually know who is writing especially if I don't know the other half and it also worries me about a huge lack of trust. Aibu?

Have a friend who her and her DP do this, annoys me as the don't sign off on a post, so you don't know who you are commenting to, I don't really know her DP so generally wouldn't comment on his post.

Quite a lot of people simply don't ascribe any significance to FB/email accounts etc beyond their being basic communication tools though. They're not individual expressions of personality or private/personalised projects, just ways to get invitations, notifications, see what mutual friends are doing, post photos. They DON'T CARE about FB :) and the account could be in the name of their house for all they care. I know several couples like this. It certainly isn't a case of being joined at the hip or not trusting one another.

I understand it if it's a couple who just use fb to check for photos of grandkids, family updates etc and don't really interact too much but when it's a couple who BOTH frequently post I find it annoying and confusing. You never know who is saying what and just gaah.

I also detest anyone who puts "yummy mummy" or similar into their profile name eg Jennifer Yummy Mummy Jones or Emma Janes Mummy Davies.

Yes, it's like joint e-mail addresses jon&[email protected] for couples who are joined at the hip. You have no idea who you're e-mailing and who is responding. Very confusing.

They are the same people who say things like "oh, we don't like the cinema do we darling." Or, "We don't watch television now that the children have left home."

Merged identities
Definitely not us even though we have us!
We have vastly different holidays and interests. You would never catch me at a Grand Prix or DH at a subtitled film but hey ho people carry on projecting trust issues and blurred identifies just because some people are happy with what they do!

Don't care so much what other people do with their facebook. YANBU for it to annoy you, but they can have joint social media if they like. If you want to talk to them privately a text message or phone call can be made. I don't think it implies trust issues, I think it just means they use social media for different reasons than you. My OH doesn't have a facebook, but he's always scrolling through mine because all his family are on it. Doesn't want his own because he's an ignorant bugger, he doesn't "chat" and people would annoy him lol.

Same goes for the baby pages, who cares? I actually considered doing this. Only because of my OH's bloody family. If I don't put a photo up of my 6mo at least a few times a week we get texts and phone calls, but then I don't want to cover my friend's newfeeds in "oh look at my baby" kind of way. So I was going to set up one just to post her photos and days out on, that only about 8 people can see. (better than using skydrive or googledrive because half of the people aren't computer savvy enough! lol)

My OH set up a twitter for one of our cats (I don't know what the other cat did to be left out like that) It has more twitter friends than me. God damn cat. Think he just did it for a laugh lol.

Don't take it all so seriously, live and let live :)

Me and my OH also have a joint email address. We have our separate ones. But we have a joint one for things like our sky account, gas an electric, voucher sites, hotel bookings, holiday bookings, registering for things we both use like netflix...etc.

Jesus - what saddos create a Facebook profile for their babies ?

I can't believe that.

I am on FB but my DP is not.
Many of my friends think we are not a 'secure' couple because I never put a picture of him on there ( He hates having his picture taken and would never want one published anywhere!)
He also thinks FB is ridiculous and can't understand why people like to share stuff publicly, so I would not disrespect him by plastering his photo on my status page.
I get sick of people asking me about him and why I never show pictures of us together or hardly mention him.

I don't care what people do or don't do on their page and I wish other people would not care about what other people, including me, do!

A joint page does not necessarily mean trust or control issues anymore than my page means I do not have a normal happy relationship because I don't post lovey-dovey pictures.

Computer illiterate - ok I can understand. I have a couple where this does not apply though, and they like to also hold conversations on their joint wall. JackJill SmithJones tells him/herself that he loves him/herself very much, and replies that aww yes me too.

The only people I know who do this are much older, where they would be very used to getting joint post, joint bank accounts, joint friendships that sort of thing and would think it completely normal. No trust or control issues, just what they're used to.

We have this. Dh hates computers but wanted to add couple friends to fb. So just gave him my log in, he added friends and I change the name (complete laziness tbh). He uses my email as he won't set his own up on phone.

and like most facebook crap, it doesn't matter one iota.

Although, in the grand scheme of things Facebook is totally irrelevant so move on

Really? It's even got "Facebook" in the title, so why come on & feel the need to sneer? It's almost behaviour that could be called Twattish by some.....

I'd find it weird if any of our friends did it, SIL has one for her dog - but she's an arse....

We are in our 30s and do it, so it's not just the older generation. Like someone said above, it's a letterbox really.

reading a bit more though I do agree with OP if these couples are regularly commenting from the same account, that is a bit strange. Neither of us ever posts on facebook as we send pictures to those we want to see them (and to those that actually want to see them!) and we email, text and call our friends individually in private, I just don't need to have those conversations in public, nothing to be gained and possibly lots to lose.

I have some former friends who are married and perpetually have conversations on Facebook when I know for a fact they are sat at the same table having breakfast. They have separate accounts and I know they have trust issues. The reason the speak publicly to each other on there is part of the charade.

Problem with facebook for me is its too easy to go against one of the best bits of advice I ever got. "The best response more often than not is to do or say nothing, the problem is that doing or saying nothing is the hardest thing to do"

Facebook makes it too easy for people with low emotional maturity (I include myself) to shoot something off and regret it.

sykadelic - no, it's not necessary. But it's easier for them and if FB doesn't matter to you, why would you spend time faffing around trying to sort something for no real reason or gain?

I also really don't think it says 'no individuality or independence' any more than the fact that DH and I share a just eat account does. If FB has no emotional significance to you beyond the fact that you have to use this login to see some pictures of Disneyworld, why would you customize it? I think you're putting way too much importance on social media and projecting your views onto a lot of people.

I sort of understand the point of the baby profiles. You upload the hundreds of shots of your PFB doing amazing things like smiling or holding a spoon and the only people who have to look hourly pictures are enthusiastic relatives who want to see it. It allows the parents to share pics without clogging their friends' newsfeeds. I have a Flickr account just for the kids so grandparents can access it and print photos. The pretending to be the baby - that's just weird.

The pretending to be the baby - that's just weird.

Yeah they post on their behalf AS them..it is very weird. A dear friend of mine set up a facebook page for her baby because he was very ill with a heart disorder when he was born. Anyone who wanted to keep track on his progress could add the page and it was really lovely to see him doing so well. this was the first instance of a baby profile I ever saw. Since then its just been the weird ones..

I think I an more judgy about it than most because DH is a software developer specialising in internet security. He knows how venerable sites like facebook are and that identities are at risk. So he is adamant he does not want any pictures of our DC uploaded to any site, and he doesnt have a facebook.

*Vunerable

It is highly bizarre and I think I'd have to defriend anyone who did it.

My husband has a Facebook account - managed by me! Not because he can't be trusted, but because he is a bit lazy!

Yanbu. Cringeworthy, cheesy n absolutely indicative of issues within the relationship. Sad!

This and joint email addresses make me nuts. Be your own person!

I think older people do this because they don't get social media

I prefer joint accounts to couples who "talk" to each other through FB - I don't want to know that X has the best husband ever and loves them so much for these beautiful flowers, thank you. And if something interests you and you want to share it with your partner, just flippin email them the link rather than post it and tag them in it!

aren't the proud mummy ones normally the ones in the park with a fag in the mouth shouting 'Tyler get ere NAH (now)' - I saw 2 of these in a park near my work place yesterday.

and they class themselves as 'yummy mummies' - yes obesity with a belt for a skirt really counts retracts claws and hoiks judgy pants up

Re joint email addresses and being your own person - dh and I have our own ones but I can understand people having a joint one I mean, you only have one letter box in the front door so how is it different?

I refuse to wish dh happy birthday on fb - that's just weird but I do tag him in posts occasionally so he sees things. A friend questioned it on my wall once saying I should talk to dh - he was working away andwas on fb but couldn't receive calls so I wasn't sitting next to him on the sofa! I remember thinking - what's it got to do with her?