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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend didn't wait for me and DD at swimming pool

49 replies

MotorwayMonkey · 14/06/2015 20:45

I have a friend who lives in another town from me quite far away and we often meet in a city that is halfway between our two homes. This weekend we arranged to go swimming in said halfway town. I don't drive (which she knows) so this means that I have to lug quite a big bag full of towells, shampoo etc on a bus, a train and then walk about 15 minutes to the swimming pool along with my dawdling 3 yo DD.

We arranged to meet at 10:30am at the pool. It is always really busy on weekends (its quite a nice pool with a couple of flumes so I think that is why it is so popular)) so much so that you are allocated 1 hour slots (with coloured wristbands) when you get there. I arrived bang on time (actually a couple of minutes early). I took my phone out to see that my friend had texted just after 10am to say that she had already arrived and had taken her DD in the pool and we will meet her in there. There was actually a long queue of people waiting to be allowed to go into the pool and me and DD ended up waiting for about 30mins before we were allowed in. This all meant that by the time we joined my friend and her DD, they had to leave shortly after we got there.

I don't know if IABU, but I was annoyed that my friend could not wait for us. We were not late, we got there on time and she knew about how busy it gets and about the 1 hour allocation thing. It annoyed me as I felt one of the main reasons we went was so that our children could enjoy a swim etc together, it is quite a big slog for me taking all the stuff needed and I would have just gone to my local pool 5 minutes from my house if I wanted to take me and DD swimming rather than embarking on an hour plus journey.

I didn't say anything to my friend. I just think this was a bit off.

OP posts:
neighbourhoodwitch · 14/06/2015 20:47

totally agree with you. It is off & she should have waited.

Floggingmolly · 14/06/2015 20:48

Yes, it was extremely selfish and rude. Why couldn't she have just got a coffee and waited? I'd have said something.

formerbabe · 14/06/2015 20:48

Yanbu! That would irritate me...if you are early, wait in the cafe or walk round the block!

Zephyroux · 14/06/2015 20:48

It seems a bit mean of her. Why don't you suggest you all go to the one closer to you?

bittapitta · 14/06/2015 20:49

She should've waited, you agreed 10.30 and you were there on time. She was rude.

CheekyNanKnows · 14/06/2015 20:51

Yanbu. Plain rude.

NorbertDentressangle · 14/06/2015 20:51

YANBU.

Surely she realised that by being so early she risked the 1 hr slots only overlapping a bit?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 14/06/2015 20:52

Very rude. Both to not wait before going in (due to the 1 hour time slots) and for not waiting for you afterwards.

I wouldn't bother going to meet her again TBH. Not unless it is somewhere much more local to you.

BettyCatKitten · 14/06/2015 20:53

Yanbu, what was the point of arranging a time?

ItsTricky · 14/06/2015 20:54

YANBU. I'd be really pissed off.

NinkyNonkers · 14/06/2015 20:55

In normal pool circumstances she would not be unreasonable,but given the time slot etc I think she was a bit. Maybe she didn't realise the length of queue+

kinkyfuckery · 14/06/2015 20:56

YANBU she was rude.

However, you seem a bit of a martyr going on about Oh So how much stuff you had to carry. A couple of towels, bottle of shampoo and fresh undies for two can be slung in a rucksack and carried no problem.

InexperiencedDisneyMum · 14/06/2015 20:56

She was very rude not to wait.

Why do you need to carry so much stuff though? Two towels and a bottle of shampoo aren't heavy.

1Morewineplease · 14/06/2015 20:58

Your friend was incredibly rude!!! You don't sound like the sort of person who would wish to seek revenge... And it's very wrong!... But try and find a way!!!

IUseAnyName · 14/06/2015 21:10

Id prob send her an unconfrontational text (because im a coward) explaining that it wasnt on x

Purplepoodle · 14/06/2015 21:11

Doesn't matter how u get there but she was rude. Why bother to arrange to meet

IsItStupid · 14/06/2015 21:15

Definitely rude! She could have waited.

On a side note, is a taxi actually cheaper for you then all those busses/trains?

Gumps · 14/06/2015 21:27

On first read I thought YABU as I would go on in if I was meeting a friend and send a message to say meet you in the pool. However on second read she was there a whole half an hour early and knew there were one hour slots? I'm sure she thought her little one would get bored if she waited and thats her reasoning to herself but very unreasonable behaviour towards you.
I'm not sure I would send a confrontation text but next time she suggests meeting her swimming there I would say no.

Siennasun · 14/06/2015 21:31

Yanbu
I wouldn't travel to meet her again. Either she comes local to you or don't bother.

AntiHop · 14/06/2015 21:33

Yanbu. Very rude.

CuppaSarah · 14/06/2015 21:41

How odd, does her dd have any reasons like sn that may have made it difficult for her to understand why they had to wait? Even so, why arrive early if that was the case? It's all so unnecessary and rude. Yadnbu!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 14/06/2015 21:44

Very rude indeed and what a disappointment for your DD.

JeanSeberg · 14/06/2015 21:48

Yes she was rude and as she had to leave straight after the swimming what was the point in going all that way just for an hour?

Fatmomma99 · 14/06/2015 21:51

Totally agree - bloody rude. YNBU. Assume her child is also around 3? Maybe not good at waiting. Tough - it was supposed to be a shared experience.

Crap of her. I'd be livid.

Minshu · 14/06/2015 21:52

Could there have been a misunderstanding, whereby she thought you agreed 10 am?