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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much 'surplus' money your household has at the end of the month?

217 replies

SeiShann · 14/06/2015 16:10

This is not a stealth boast. I was brought up in a poor family. Single parent mum on benefits in council flat. I started my own adult life in a similar fashion, ended up a single parent on benefits in a council house. Somehow I managed to sort myself out though, went to uni and became a nurse. Not great income but more than I ever thought possible. My fiancé also earns a decent wage although we're not 'loaded' by any stretch of the imagination.
Anyway the point of my post ... I want to buy a car. It will cost £9k and I will pay for it by selling my current car (£2k) and saving up £3. The rest will be credit. Fiancé says we can't afford it and are not as 'flush' as I like to think. Just being nosy really and wondering if I'm missing something. So after all bills are paid and the groceries bought, what surplus do you have?
We spend £100 a week on groceries (2 adults, 2 teens). After that and all bills we have around £2000 surplus. I don't think that's bad myself but coming from a crappy background, am I missing something? We have no debts

OP posts:
waitaminutenow · 14/06/2015 21:41

Because we don't have a mortgage we usually have about 2k left. Usually between 600-1k left by next payday. Which we then save and start afresh. Sometimes we use the savings for flights etc (I fly to Ireland to see family 3/4times a year).

TTWK · 14/06/2015 21:41

The fact that people have £2000 surplus at the end of the month actually makes me feel quite sick

This one line encompasses much of what's wrong with this country today. We don't admire people who earn more than us, we resent them. We don't aspire to be as wealthy as them, we want them to be as poor as us.

RJnomore · 14/06/2015 21:42

I hear you five.

RJnomore · 14/06/2015 21:48

But ttwk at Thr same time we despise the poor...

It's all very odd.

sherbetlemonD · 14/06/2015 21:50

I'm baffled as to how people are taking this seriously.

Starting off with a pity story about a poor background. Then goes on to say how much money they have now.

Personally, if I was making this thread id ask people what their disposable monthly income was and how it was spent to see if anything matched up and what I could cut.

But maybe that's just me shrugs

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 21:50

I think the 'truly' poor are pitied, rather than despised.

However, those just above that level - and really £1000 disposable income isn't exactly Richard Branson territory - are soundly reprimanded for daring to earn halfway decent money or something. It's really weird.

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 21:53

I don't think it was a pity story. I think the OP knew she'd get a load of variations on the four Yorkshiremen and tried to address this - it was also relevant to the different attitudes she and her partner had towards money.

The problem with asking people how their disposable income is spent is it is so relevant to their circumstances. Mine - or a lot of mine - literally gets gobbled up by animals but if you are t into pets then that wouldn't be relevant to you.

Fact is, if you aren't on benefits you can't ask for financial advice on Mumsnet as you are stealth boasting.

Momagain1 · 14/06/2015 21:59

I just don't understand how we have that spare but dp says we can't afford to buy a car

Well, ask him. Money not spent on expenses is not 'spare', it is savings. If you are frittering away spare money on little things, that you think means you can afford credit for a car, then get that under control first. Otherwise you will still have the spending habit And have the credit payment, which is bad news.

Savings is an expense. As someone who also came from behind like you, that was a hard concept for me to finally wrap my head around. When you never have enough cash for the endless list of things that are constantly breaking (because they were the cheap version, or used) or being outgrown, or that you are making something stand in for, or just not having, then you are used to spending Anything 'spare' in that manner. If you know that any attempt to save for something nice will end up being used on something necessary, you get in the habit of cheap pleasures like takeaway and scrounging around for somehow when something breaks. But now your income is stable enough that savings can actually grow until big enough to use, and then actually be replaced. But it only happens if you spend your spare on the savings account.

But it is easy to go on treating everything in that constant re-purchase mode, and always see unspent cash as spendable and not yet accept that not spending is a thing you can and must do.

So, that's how my financial learning curve went. Talk to your dp though: what does HE mean? What picture and plan does he have in his head, and hope you can learn? It is possible that his picture and plan is just his own vague money fears and issues and unlike my dh, he isnt just ahead of you on the learning curve after growing up poor. But you wont find out either of those things from us.

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 22:00

That, Mom, is an example of Mumsnet at its best.

Kind, practical, understanding and eminently sensible.

Bloody good post.

NinkyNonkers · 14/06/2015 22:01

I don't think wealth is something to aspire to in itself however,by any means.

MagratGarlik · 14/06/2015 22:20

Those who say you won't get a brand new car for £9000... a quick scan of Auto trader shows 1563 brand new cars for sale nationally for £9000 or less.

£9000 will buy you:

a Citroen C3
a Renault Clio
a Fiat 500
a Toyota Aygo

To name but a few. All of which, you could buy at 3 years old for a fraction of the price.

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 22:27

I think it is, Ninky - perhaps not in terms of wealth for the sake of it but certainly in terms of security and stability.

NoSquirrels · 14/06/2015 22:31

Brilliant & insightful post, Momagain. It should be stickied and used on every thread about how the "poor" spend their money. Thank you.

greenvest · 14/06/2015 22:35

We have more than twice that as surplus income, but wouldn't spend that much on a car. In fact we don't even have a car (are in central London where it's cheaper and more convenient not to have one). I know lots of families with far more surplus income, and lots who have much less (I was also raised on a council estate and lived in one as a single mum, before taking up a lucrative career, so I know lots of people from different backgrounds). I'm not sure how helpful it is to compare your own financial situation with others to make decisions about your individual finances really.

NinkyNonkers · 14/06/2015 22:35

Security etc yes, but not just mon for the sake of money.

Momagain1 · 14/06/2015 22:37

Oh my goodness. Blush

RJnomore · 14/06/2015 22:54

Yep mag and none of which you could fit two adults and two teenagers in.
You could get a Dacia duster too. It's not impossible - but with a family and at that price bracket it's far more LIKELY she's talking new to her and not brand new.

KenAdams · 14/06/2015 22:56

It makes you feel dick that people have surplus income?

It's not really that black and white though is it? You might have nothing left at the end of the month because you buy a new outfit every week but I would never just walk into a shop and do that and instead buy all my clothes in the sales or whatever.

I don't understand how someone having surplus income can make you react like that!

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 22:58

Someone feeling dick that people have surplus income would be an established trade, surely? Grin

best typo ever

MagratGarlik · 14/06/2015 23:03

I guess (ours is a 1970's VW camper - you can have a whole troop in there and still have room to spare ).

I just don't get the idea of having finance for a car. If there's a vehicle I want and don't have the money to buy immediately, I save for it. I tend to be of the mentality that if you can't afford it outright, you can't afford it (housing excluded), but I'm probably in a minority in this.

RJnomore · 14/06/2015 23:05

A car is the second most expensive thing most of us will ever purchase.

MagratGarlik · 14/06/2015 23:09

That may be, but just personally I've never had finance on a vehicle. I've always saved and paid cash, but that's just me. I don't like finance, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Gemauve · 14/06/2015 23:22

I tend to be of the mentality that if you can't afford it outright, you can't afford it (housing excluded)

I do find it amusing that people take a high moral tone over borrowing to buy things, and then slip in the "except for my mortgage" caveat. You could, of course, save while renting and buy your house for cash, just as people can save while using buses and then buy a car for cash.

peggyundercrackers · 14/06/2015 23:24

Your surplus money is the amount you have in the bank the day before your next pay day not the amount you have after you have paid your main living expenses. We are lucky and have a fair bit left at the end of the month but we tend to save quite a bit and aren't particularly extravegent.

I don't think 9k is particularly expensive for a car - horses for courses really. Lots of people buy cars that cost much more than this all the time, it's not unusual. All 4 of our cars cost more than 9k - we both like cars and have spent way too much money on them over the years but hey ho... Everyone has things they like spending money on.

MagratGarlik · 14/06/2015 23:29

Not really the high moral tone, just my personal feeling (and completely off point, but we didn't borrow for a mortgage either).

However, I'm saying I can understand mortgage - a house typically costs an order of magnitude at least more than a car. Most people can't save whilst renting because it is generally more expensive to rent than to buy, but it is cheaper to buy a car in cash than it is to finance one. Completely different scenarios.