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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much 'surplus' money your household has at the end of the month?

217 replies

SeiShann · 14/06/2015 16:10

This is not a stealth boast. I was brought up in a poor family. Single parent mum on benefits in council flat. I started my own adult life in a similar fashion, ended up a single parent on benefits in a council house. Somehow I managed to sort myself out though, went to uni and became a nurse. Not great income but more than I ever thought possible. My fiancé also earns a decent wage although we're not 'loaded' by any stretch of the imagination.
Anyway the point of my post ... I want to buy a car. It will cost £9k and I will pay for it by selling my current car (£2k) and saving up £3. The rest will be credit. Fiancé says we can't afford it and are not as 'flush' as I like to think. Just being nosy really and wondering if I'm missing something. So after all bills are paid and the groceries bought, what surplus do you have?
We spend £100 a week on groceries (2 adults, 2 teens). After that and all bills we have around £2000 surplus. I don't think that's bad myself but coming from a crappy background, am I missing something? We have no debts

OP posts:
Mintyy · 14/06/2015 16:27

£9k is a lot for a car, unless you really love cars and they are of special interest to you.

DH and I are comfortable and have a good standard of living. Apparently we are in the top 5% of households nationally if you count pure income (extremely fortunate yada yada).

I have just bought a car for £2,000, his car is now 10 years old and worth about £400. When it finally expires, he will buy another for about £4,000 - £5,000.

I am just saying this to put it all in context.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 14/06/2015 16:28

We don't have anywhere near that amount after everything is accounted for. Can only dream of what we'd be able to do if we had.

Original poster
SeiShann · 14/06/2015 16:29

I do like cars.
We just seem to waste the surplus but dp thinks it's spend on having a good standard of day to day life but as I said, we don't do that much!

OP posts:
Inertia · 14/06/2015 16:31

Don't bother with credit - just save the money, prove that it can be done, and by Christmas you'll have enough to just sell your car and buy a new one.

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 16:32

I do know what you mean - I'm a money dribbler too.

cardibach · 14/06/2015 16:33

£9k is absolutely not a lot for a car! I spend around that usually, and it's only a reasonably new super mini. I can't maintain a car myself or afford to keep paying garage fees for an older car, so I need a newish one. When I say usually, I get a new car on finance over 3 years and change it when I have paid for it. A reliable car is essential for me to work so I treat it as an essential expencpse and don't allow my cars to get old.

TTWK · 14/06/2015 16:33

at the moment but just seem to water away the surplus money on takeaways, drink and the odd ebay thing.

Well a takeway for 2 is about £15 max. So 30 takeaways a month (every night) is £450 a month. That leaves £1550 for alcohol and the odd thing on ebay. So there is no point in buying a car, because you must be permanently pissed up anyway.

Hope this helps.

ilovesooty · 14/06/2015 16:33

Write down every bit of expenditure for a month
It sounds as though you don't know where that surplus goes.

Sidalee7 · 14/06/2015 16:35

Do you mean 2k after all lunches, coffees, money for nights out ect? I have about a grand after all bills are paid, train fares, petrol, clubs ect. But then I budget 150 a week for lunches, coffee, going out. So then have 300 to either save or fritter (usually fritter)

cardibach · 14/06/2015 16:35

Just to add - that means I don't actually spend £9k as most of that is the trade in. But £9k does not buy a particularly car-lover-y kind of car. I don't love cars, but I do love being able to get to work and earn a living...

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 16:35

Writing things down is a good idea.

I also find using cash as much as possible is helpful.

It is easy to dribble money away without noticing and I think especially when you have come from a poor background - I don't particularly but I had parents who in all honesty were stingy in some ways and I am a swine for treating the kids ... Anyway! Smile sometimes it takes something like this to give you a kick up the bum and start saving - good luck!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 14/06/2015 16:35

Up until the end of last year I had nothing. Not a farthing left over once I'd paid the rent and bills. Now, I have about 400 quid but it's not burning a hole in my pocket, it's going into savings.

If you have 2k left over on paper then I can't understand why you're contemplating getting into debt for a car. You should have at least the 9k set aside in savings, but if you're already spending every last penny of that alleged 2k then I suspect he's right: you can't afford it without it impacting on your day-day living. Some things are worth enduring a bit of mild hardship or self-denial for. Having a cushion for that rainy day just over the horizon is one of them. Getting into debt when you could quite easily save up for what you want is not sensible.

sparklewater · 14/06/2015 16:38

It sounds like he might be right - if you only have £2000 in savings and think you are spending approx £500 a week on nothing much then maybe you are overestimating your surplus. I'd have to try really hard to spend that much!

If you really want the car then save up - or at least put aside the amount the credit would cost you for a few months to prove it won't affect things.

NinkyNonkers · 14/06/2015 16:38

On paper, around a grand. Was more, but Dh just took a £15k pay cut. That is with one professional earner. In real life though,much less as there are always expenses. How much is your rent etc?

TTWK · 14/06/2015 16:38

£9k is a lot for a car, unless you really love cars and they are of special interest to you.

Rubbish. Millions of people spend well over £9K on a car and have no interest in cars at all. They just was something new or nearly new that meets their needs.

Allgunsblazing · 14/06/2015 16:39

I was still thinking about your question as I was making the beds, fiveacres beat me to it: t's not a money problem, it's a relationship problem.
Please separate your finances, and do it asap. Sounds like your DP is very much like mine. Don't just go along with it, please, you are allowed and entitled to think and decide for yourself. Your OH seems to not be able to explain why, but more importantly, he's not supporting you like you deserve.

NinkyNonkers · 14/06/2015 16:39

We are not a car family either, we have one very practical work horse that cost £3.5k second hand and will go on forever.

fiveacres · 14/06/2015 16:39

OP says 'we' - she isn't the only money fritterer in the house!

And did any of you notice she's got two teens? They are famously expensive. You can easily be down £100 a week just giving them their money!

londonrach · 14/06/2015 16:40

Surplus? Sorry whats that word....

Amummyatlast · 14/06/2015 16:41

I'm concerned that you don't seem to know what you are frittering spending your surplus cash on each month. We used to have a £1,800 surplus each month, but that got saved so that when we had DD we were able to go down to one salary without worrying.

I don't think £9K is all that much for car - most not-too-old family cars seem to come in that price bracket.

snowydrops · 14/06/2015 16:42

Interesting thread! We recently bought a new car costing 10k (second hand car) and DH wouldn't entertain idea of buying on finance so we paid 6k upfront from savings and 4k on interest free CC. Like you we have approx 2k 'surplus' a month and we save probably 1k a month and spend the rest on things like clothes, meals out, babysitters, clubs and activities for the family eg cinema etc. it's probably less than 1k mostly but on an expensive month it would amount to that. We had a similar conversation to you OP where DH was determined we couldn't afford the car and I had to explain to him that we could because clearly we have the money to pay the bill each month and we could just do a bit less if necessary. He comes from a very thrifty background and so doesn't like to spend on items that look 'flash'. I respect that but similarly to you couldn't understand his mind set as I would rather buy a useful item like a car which is used daily than go for a meal once a week or whatever. My point is that people view money and savings and what they spend it on differently and I guess you have to negotiate a bit! For what it's worth with our 2k 'surplus' I consider us quite well off (although self employed so this could change at any time) but I have no idea why you don't consider yourself so?!

ChocolateBreakfastBalls · 14/06/2015 16:44

Ok, I'll bite. We have 4 DCs aged 1-8. After bills and essential spending (aka food, clothes, petrol) we have around £1500 "spare." I never see this spare money

PuzzleRocks · 14/06/2015 16:45

£9k absolutely is a lot if you don't have it. DH is a walking automotive encyclopaedia. If you know what to look for £3 to £4k will get you something stylish (even classic) and perfectly reliable. Buying cars on finance is unwise and totally unnecessary for obtaining something reliable. I've been guilty of it in the past. Wouldn't dream of buying brand new now, even for cash.

dementedma · 14/06/2015 16:46

No surplus here. After all bills paid there should be a surplus but there is always bloody something - car repair, helping dd2 at uni, school trip or music tuition costs for DS....we rarely go out or have holidays. Having 2k surplus would be great but accept that some of that will be "frittered". Should still be at least 1k left over though I would have thought.....

TattyDevine · 14/06/2015 16:48

If I were you I would save up for the car and buy it, as many others have said. If you genuinely have £2k spare a month and already have £2k tucked away its less than 4 months till you have your car.

Do you own a house or rent? If you don't own, and you have £2k spare a month, you are in a good position to save a deposit. If you already own - you say you have no debts? Does that mean no mortgage? And if you do have a mortgage, can you overpay it so your £2k spare doesn't get frittered?

Just a few thoughts.