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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think due to aibu it is now hard to have any sort of debate on here

69 replies

southeastastra · 12/06/2015 20:59

without people reporting posts instead of debating on thread or people being offended by the slightest thing, silencing any sort of free speech

it's becoming a very strange place and i think aibu is the main cause of it.

when i joined there was a fair amount of people being offended but they gave their reasons in polite intelligent debate. not people just i suppose report

i wish aibu was a whole different website at times then i could play like i used to on here

OP posts:
BIWI · 13/06/2015 14:12

But why should there be any deletions, ChuffinAda?

Some posters seem unable to argue with a post but make it personal about the poster.

ChuffinAda · 13/06/2015 14:18

That's the point I'm making. Numerous points being made from various angles and happily sitting on the same thread. It only seems to be on Aibu that it all goes a bit tits up.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/06/2015 14:21

It's much easier to report. As if you say anything you get all the tiresome "professionally offended" accusations from the offensive people. Not worth it.

ReadtheSmallPrint · 13/06/2015 14:34

I have noticed that the PO are very good at insulting people indirectly and then getting very uppity if they insulted in return.

Example:

"I never insulted anyone. I said that tory voters are greedy, heartless bastartds. I didn't call you a greedy, heartless bastartd at all. I am so offended that you called me a self-righteous bitch."

ilovesooty · 13/06/2015 14:40

I agree, Fanjo

Spot on.

soapboxqueen · 13/06/2015 14:55

I think it's always been the same. I stopped coming here for a long while after a particularly horrific thread where I was accused of some fairly vile things (and I mean vile). Again a whole bunch of people piled on. It was really horrible and was at least 5 years ago.

It happens I think because, it is easy for things to not exactly mean what you mean it to when you are typing out answers. Also I don't think people really read other people's posts some times and jump on a few phrases and get really irate.

I've never reported someone for being horrible to me. I may point out that what they have said is rude. Usually the response is 'well I don't think it was rude' and I'm like Hmm you speak to people like that in real life?

Not much to be done about it though.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/06/2015 14:57

The real problem on AIBU is not people being offended by words or anything like that.

It's people lacking empathy and being bastards for the sake of it, much of the time, usually to people looking for support.

soapboxqueen · 13/06/2015 15:00

I agree that some people are just out to be twattish

LikeIcan · 13/06/2015 15:04

AIBU is pretty much the same as it was 5-6 years ago. If anything, MN as a forum is a lot better now, far less cliquey for sure.

Metalguru · 13/06/2015 15:20

So true Readthesmallprint!

suchafuss · 13/06/2015 15:39

Totally agree, I had thought that MN would be about women supporting each other sharing advice etc, instead over the past view days I have seen numerous insults, foul language and vitriol aimed at people just asking a genuine question and seeking others perspectives. What happened to 'the only silly question is the one you don't ask' school of thought?

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 13/06/2015 16:25

usually to people looking for support.

I don't think I'd use AIBU for support, I'd either find another topic loosely connected or use Chat.

AIBU prides itself on being "rough & ready", whereas I look at it as somewhere people hang out looking for a fight.

I agree about reporting rather than replying, but it's so hard not to sometimes.....

Fairenuff · 13/06/2015 16:40

Can't you just ignore the ones that don't add to the debate and report the ones that break guidelines. AIBU is not really a place for support, it's to canvass opinion and you are therefore inviting all sorts of different comments.

Fairenuff · 13/06/2015 16:42

Also I find posters that use phrases like 'professionally offended' or the 'something brigade' completely dull and lacking in imagination. Even those who count the cliches by calling 'bingo' are themselves using a tired old cliche.

Ltb needs to stay, obvs. Grin

ASorcererIsAWizardSquared · 13/06/2015 17:00

its the extrapolating that goes on that i think is killing the situation.

The amount of people who ask perfectly ordinary questions, and then within a few posts people have turned a child plunking a piano too hard into a hoodie wearing vandal with no respect for instruments who is smashing it up with a sledge hammer.. Confused

I really wish people would actually read and answer what the OP is actually talking about, and not some version they've made up in their own heads!

ilovesooty · 13/06/2015 17:01

People often use terms like PC and professionally offended because they want to have the freedom to post all sorts of discriminatory stuff without being challenged or criticised.

fiveacres · 13/06/2015 17:12

Or to say which mainstream political party they support Hmm

usualsuspect333 · 13/06/2015 17:22

I'm not keen on the phrase professionally offended. It's a bit of a cop out to use it just because someone disagrees with you.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 13/06/2015 17:23

My coping mechanism is often to treat AIBU as a broadcast rather than a discussion - I'll post my comment & then hide the thread if people are getting silly.

Makes for a much more relaxed experience...

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 13/06/2015 17:26

its the extrapolating that goes on that i think is killing the situation.

God Yes!!

"Hang on, you said you got on the 08:25 to Oxford, but there's only an 08:27 - somethings not right"

Bleeding amateur Miss Marples all over the place, never realising that people don't want to post exact information that could reveal people's identities....

Angry
usualsuspect333 · 13/06/2015 17:29

Maybe that's because this place is over run with bleeding trolls.

HootsMon · 13/06/2015 17:36

There are a large minority of people on AIBU who have nothing to contribute to a thread (or actively do not wish to contribute) who feel the need to post anyway with stuff like:

"You goady fucker"
"This. Again"
"Is it half-term?"

Thus drawing more attention to themselves a supposedly pointless thread.

fiveacres · 13/06/2015 17:39

Grin hoots

CoogerAndDark · 13/06/2015 17:43

It has become a bit of a refuge for the type for whome pressing Report and seeing MNHQ backing up their petty and peevish gripes gives a warm rosy glow probably in short supply in their rl.

ilovesooty · 13/06/2015 17:48

Cooger If you see discriminatory language, challenge it and get insulted what alternative to reporting would you suggest?