To allow my 14 year old to do a 3 month exchange trip

[Mistigri]

Have to make a decision tonight due to a f*ck up by the school which failed to pass on the information in time.

DD has the opportunity to do a three month exchange in Spain next year. We get the Spanish kid in September for 3 months, DD goes to a school in Zaragoza for three months next spring.

She's keen. She has already done a shorter exchange and her Spanish is fairly fluent. But it's a big decision to have to make in less than 24 hours!

"I am dithering about whether 9yo dd can go on a school trip to London for 3 days as I will miss her too much grin"

Please tell me this isn't serious.........

I think you've made the right decision, especially if you live in mainland Europe already. My impression is that continental European teenagers are often socially, culturally and mentally much better equipped to deal with exchange programmes than Brits at around 15.

The girl DD1 did her exchange with (who stayed with us for 3 months) was doing Abibac, so DD1 went into her Abibac class at lycée. We're in Germany, but the DC attend German-English schools, so DD1 is also now trilingual, which will be brilliant for her career (and for communicating around Europe).

One real advantage for us with the programme was that the teenagers themselves were responsible for finding their own exchange partners, via the programme website or wherever else, and we had a LOT of e-mail and Skype contact with the other family before the exchange went ahead. So we weren't 'matched' passively, we did the matching ourselves.

"I was a shy 13 matched with a 17 year old boy; one of DH friends lived in a small council house in Stockton-On-Tees and found himself matched with a family who lived in a French Chateau." Yes, obviously that kind of thing is silly and doomed to failure. The more contact the families have in advance, the better.

"If anything I am more concerned about the practical aspects of receiving an exchange student for so long than with my pfb heading off into the big wide world for 3 months." Yes, Mistigri, it's definitely something the whole family is affected by! My advice would be to definitely get all financial stuff worked out in advance about what is being paid for by each family. So each family took their guest child on one holiday during the three months, within Europe, and paid for all activities on that holiday. But DD1 wanted to carry on with her riding lessons in France, and it was clear that we should pay extra for those lessons ourselves.

DD2 is taking Spanish not French, and we'd love her to do an extended exchange in Year 9 (aged 15 or so). Do you know of a similar programme between Spain and Germany? I was looking yesterday and could only find programmes where you pay thousands to an organisation and your host family is paid, so it's not reciprocal. I think a reciprocal programme is actually better because it's a non-financial arrangement, the families are more motivated to look after each other's children.

Hope it all goes well and she gets on well with her eventual match. I am still in touch with my exchange 24 years later

That sounds amazing!! I lived in France as a teenager, but my school didn't offer the Bachibac or Abibac - I would have loved it! My "collège" had a European section (French/English) but my "lycée" didn't.

I went on an exchange to Germany for 1 month, and it was amazing! I now teach languages in the UK, and wish we could offer something like this (we can only offer 1-week exchanges because it takes time from the other GCSE courses).

My 21 year old dd has just gone to America for three months, I thought I was coping with that ok but couldn't imagine letting my 14 year old go. That's not to say you shouldn't it's just that I'm a wuss and anything over two weeks away seems like a long time to me

What a fabulous opportunity and well done to your DD for having the guts to do it! If she has already done an exchange, she will have an idea of what it is like, although obviously this is a lot longer! I would have literally jumped at the chance (did do a French exchange every year at secondary school)

Sadly, no exchanges are offered at my DC's school and I am doubtful that they would go on them even if there were any. One of my French friends DD did a 3 month exchange with a girl in Canada and they are still friends (as I am with my French friends) -IIRC she was at least 16.

archfarchnad the exchange that DD has applied for is organised at regional authority level (in France, education is managed regionally), so they do the matching and the organization. The finance side is simple: while the exchange student is here we pay for everything including accommodation and transport to school, and vice versa. She also did a shorter exchange, which was organised between the two schools concerned and which we had to pay a small amount towards (mainly travel - accommodation was free).

We had looked at her doing a language trip with a commercial organisation next summer holidays, but those trips are shorter and as you say, very expensive!

Wyfofbathe the bi-national sections (bachibac etc) have been expanded a lot in the last few years - there is at least one in every département (county) in our region now. Most of the lycées have European sections too. Sadly the government is meddling with MFL teaching at junior high, and not in a good way. It's a shame because the better students currently leave junior high at 15 with a level of fluency that I think would put most GCSE students and even AS level students to shame. My daughter does 5 hours of spanish of week (Y10) and is fairly fluent.

Without giving too much identifying information, I know of a youngster who this went very very wrong for.
Think how easy it is Do not underestimate how vulnerable a 14 yr old child is in a place without easy access to an adult they know and unable to speak the language fluently.

May, actually that is one of the first things that sprang to mind when I read the OP.