To allow my 14 year old to do a 3 month exchange trip

[Mistigri]

Have to make a decision tonight due to a f*ck up by the school which failed to pass on the information in time.

DD has the opportunity to do a three month exchange in Spain next year. We get the Spanish kid in September for 3 months, DD goes to a school in Zaragoza for three months next spring.

She's keen. She has already done a shorter exchange and her Spanish is fairly fluent. But it's a big decision to have to make in less than 24 hours!

The hosting side is a big issue too. Quite apart from the fact of having another teenager in the house, it introduces various practical complications into our plans for next year (DD was due to weekly board at her new school, but if we are hosting an exchange student this won't be possible, it would mean committing to two terms of a long commute).

So her spanish will improve without the exchange.
But it may help prepare her for the new programme.

It's the length of time that would be my reason for not being sure. 6 weeks? Yes. 12? Hmmm, not sure at all.

Do you know any other parents likely to be in the same position? What are they doing?

I did a 12 month exchange in America when I had just turned 17. I ended up staying for 2 years. Never looked back absolutely loved it. 14 is a bit younger though but I would still do it

If she wants to yes.

Could you go visit?

You must have though about it before, or why did you apply? Let her go.

Yes yes yes it's an amazing experience.

Worst case scenario you just have to pay for a new flight for her to come home early if she hates it, or you go out for a weekend.

Absolutely, go ahead with it, especially if she's bilingual already - I suspect bilingual kids learn better through immersion than through classroom study (at least it's been that way for us). DD1 went to France for 3 months aged 15, her French partner was the same age when she came to us.

One month would have definitely been too short - she spent the entire first month slightly freaking out and not really understanding everything, then at some point her mind went 'click' and she got fluent. Now she's in her final year of school and is taking French as one of her main subjects (equivalent of A-Level) and it was that trip that gave her such a huge advantage. In her French class, about half the students did the 3 month exchange and half didn't - it's very noticeable who went and who didn't.

It's also made DD1 much more confident about herself, convinced her that she wants to study and work abroad in the future, and curiously it's brought us really close together emotionally as a family because we all missed each other so much.

I knew a Home Educated 12 year old who went on an exchange to France for six months, then had a French teenager here for six months. The English girl went to school in France too. I was so full of admiration at her confidence and what an amazing thing to do. She came back fluent, too.

I'm not sure I could send my teenager though. I'm even antsy about the week long exchanges because I know nothing about the family they'd be staying with. Anything could happen to them and I wouldn't be there. I'm not sure I'd do it but in a way I think it would be great for them. Sorry that's not especially helpful!

We didn't think about it before because the first I heard about it was when the application form appeared in my email this morning!

Archfarchnad thanks for that. This sounds like a similar programme, I suspect it is more common in Europe than in the UK. DD's exchange earlier this year was a turning point - she applied for the bilingual programme as a direct result (she will simultaneously study for the French baccalaureat and the Spanish bachillerato). If anything I am more concerned about the practical aspects of receiving an exchange student for so long than with my pfb heading off into the big wide world for 3 months.

It sounds from your posts as if your DD is going to do a Bachibac? If so, you should probably go through with the exchange programme.

Yes, she will start the bachibac course next year. She will do at least one exchange as part of the course - this is extra.

I think the longer exchange is a great opportunity but I wish we had had more than 24 hours to make the decision.

I know French DC who have done the Abibac and they all went to Germany as much as possible on exchanges. It's really the point of the exercise - to get as much immersion as time allows.

She's completed the form and I will leave it up to her to decide whether she gives it in tomorrow. Not guaranteed a place on the exchange because school has been useless and we're already on the deadline. What will be, will be ...

I know she is very lucky to get this opportunity - she'll be trilingual by the time she leaves school which should open lots of doors.

I would do it! It will need some reorganization to accomodate the Spanish girl but really in the long run three months is nothing. And what an experience for your daughter and for her exchange partner!

What a fantastic opportunity, OP!

I have never heard of bachibac or abibac before - does a similar program exist in the UK?

I've never heard of these programmes. They sound great.

The only thing that would stop me is the three month thing. That's a long time.

Abibac is a Franco-German programme and Bachibac a Franco-Hispanic programme.

The reasonably widespread alternative to A-levels is the IB which is not at all popular in France.

Pippi I don't think it would be possible to do this in the UK because the A level system is so different to the much more general high school leaving diplomas in France, Spain, Italy and Germany.

In France, there are reciprocal programmes between these four countries so that students can study for two qualifications at once - but there is no equivalent agreement with the UK because the english post-16 curriculum is much narrower/ deeper.

These courses involve extra hours of foreign language tuition and other subjects are also taught in the foreign language (history and geography on my daughter's course). Round here a lot of applicants come from spanish families.

Ah ShitHot I've looked at that programme & ponder sending dc1 on it...

OP sounds great, I would go for it.

I did similar when I was 15 to Australia for a sport, bloody loved it and in those days I barely had any home contact. Nowadays there's so much opportunity for contact with social media, mobile phones and email, fantastic. Is there a fancy you could have a weekend visit half way through?

Well I would be a bit stressed at letting my 14 year old go for 3 months but he would just love it so I would probably let him go

3 months at 14? Wow - that sounds a bit much to me.

I did a 2 week exchange in Germany when I was 13 and frankly I was miserable and didn't get much from it.

DH did 3 weeks in France when he was 15 and he said it did a great deal for his French but he didn't enjoy it much.

I suppose if the organizers really have tried hard to get a good match it might not be too bad. Our experiences of this sort of thing were appalling matches - e.g. I was a shy 13 matched with a 17 year old boy; one of DH friends lived in a small council house in Stockton-On-Tees and found himself matched with a family who lived in a French Chateau.

But three months......

We have about another hour left to make the decision, or rather she does, as I am delegating this one.

I wouldn't consider it if she was shy or hated going away - but she has always loved the shorter exchanges and trips she's done previously (5 weeks in total spent away from home this year).

What did you / she decide? If you apply have you signed in blood that she will go if accepted or can she drop out at a later stage?

The thing that would swing it for me is how far away she is and whether visiting is allowed. If you live half an hour from the Spanish border and the exchange is the similar on the other side so you can go and see her regularly then that it very different to waving goodbye in March and next seeing her in June.

Forms have gone in. I think we could reasonably still drop out if she changed her mind next week, but not after they have paired up the exchange students (which is done towards the end of this month).

She is not at all worried about going away for 3 months. Her concerns are more about hosting an exchange student who will arrive just one week after she starts in a new school where she will know no one.