To get my kids to ask dog owners if it is okay to stroke their dogs?

[CruCru]

I've been teaching my kids that if they want to stroke a dog, they have to ask the owner if it is okay first. It gets a bit of a mixed reaction - some people are overjoyed that I haven't done that "There is a feral beast, keep away before it eats you" thing. Some people say no because their dog is funny around children (awesome, this is why the kids need to ask first).

However, some people seem to think it's a bit weird for kids to want to stroke their dogs. AIBU to do this? I like dogs a lot (and the kids LOVE them) but don't have one myself (we live in central London, it isn't practical).

The St Bernard I stroked was a puppy too, huge but still with all the fluffy puppy fur.

YANBU. I have a miniature dachshund who draws kids like magnets; they all think she's cute. Unfortunately she's a most disagreeable character and is terrified of children as they move quickly and make her nervous. I very much appreciate parents directing their children to ask permission but I do have to say no as I'm not convinced she wouldn't snap.

I had a dog walker ask me to stroke her dog the other day
She said something about training it not to pull or jump up or something. Tbh I wasn't paying much attention at that stage. It was such a hardship

I always tell my boys to ask before stroking a dog. I also try and teach them a bit about dog body language, and how to properly smooth a dog rather than bash it on the head, as some toddlers do before they've learned better!

We only had one negative reaction, when DS1 was about 18 months old. The owner had very kindly said DS1 could stroke his dog, so I was showing DS1 how to introduce himself to a dog and stroke it gently, but the owner kept interrupting to tell me it was OK, the dog was used to children.

I thanked him and explained that while the dog might be used to children, DS1 wasn't used to dogs.

The owner rather grumpily replied "Oh. He's one of THOSE children" and took the dog away, refusing to let DS1 stroke the dog after all.

I thought he was very odd.

Yanbu at all.
I've always taught dd and any of the kids I look after that they must ask. Not all dogs are friendly for whatever reason.

Our ddog is great with kids and likes most women but is mistrustful and scared of men and shows this by growling or barking. He's recently had two major operations that mean he can't run well anymore (knees repaired), and it's made him a bit grumpy.
I had a teenage boy ask if he could fuss him, I said no he's not feeling very friendly, but he persisted! I had to get quite vocal and explain that just because he wanted to do something didn't give him the right to just do it!

My dog loves children so much I sometimes have to ask parents if it's all right if she strokes them!

Blimey, it takes all sorts Rachel . What an odd owner.

This thread has reminded me of being on a beach in Cornwall with our dog a couple of years ago. She is very ball focused. I spent hours throwing a tennis ball for her. I eventually ended up (thankfully) with a long line of children wanting to have a go at throwing the ball for her. That was the day she reached her personal record of 4 hours of ball fetching .

I asked if it was OK to stroke a dog once. Dog bit me anyway.

I think it's great that you are teaching them to ask permission, OP. But I would actually be very uncomfortable if anyone I didn't already know wanted to pet my dog, so I would say no and leg it with dog . Weird thing on my part!

DS loves dogs so we have drilled it into him to ask the owner. We have also tried to drill it into him that he needs to ask the dog. This was something we have never thought of until I saw a very good video aimed at kids and getting them to understand a dogs body language and that sometimes a dog doesn't want to be petted.

We have never had anyone think it weird though he asked a man outside a shop if he could pet the dog and he said yes and grabbed the dog round the neck to restrain him and the dog rightly snapped,,it all happened within a few seconds and luckily DS jumped back in time

It's a great idea. Unfortunately no parents have allowed their children to stroke my dog. Perhaps because he looks like a giant. Though yesterday during a walk, a little girl of about ten and her friend asked if he was nice and could they stroke him. Dog was thrilled and would have sat there all day

I've always told the dc's to do this.

tbh even I do it too.

I love it when kids ask to stroke my boys. We have two huskies. Very, very big huskies who have the dark marking around their eyes that make them look "evil" and scary.

They're not though! They love attention but hate peoples hands going over their eyes or near their ears. So when kids ask we say if course and jut explain that and they are fine. If they just came up and did that accidentally the dogs would get agitated. (They in no way will bite). I think it's lovely and polite. After all you wouldn't jut go and use someone's bike without asking.

So no YANBU

Reading this thread REALLY makes me wish I had a doggy!

As a child I was really interested in all kinds of dog breeds, and because of where we lived, didn't see many unusual ones.

Even as an adult now, I ask people what breeds their dogs are and if I can stroke them

Hope they don't see me as some kind of weirdo!!

Without a doubt you are following best practice. Also have you heard of yellow ribbon project? If a dog has a yellow ribbon on its lead or collar it means leave it alone!

YANBU. When I had three terriers my heart was in my mouth if kids made a grab for them without asking. I generally made sure they were on the lead if kids were around but sometimes kids would approach even then. If they asked, I could point to the one dog who was sweet and reliable and had no objections to a toddler putting her in a bear hug whilst trying to pull her ears. The other two were just not used to children and there was a risk they would snap.

I'm afraid as an adult I don't often ask the owner. I look at the dog and ask it. They generally tell you if they want to be stroked or not but reading the body language takes a little practice. well not that much. They just make a bee line for you if they like you. Dogs are not stupid

drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/dog_bite_prevention_how_kids_and_adults_should_greet_dogs_safely

First ask the owner.

Then ask the dog.

This is the best way to keep your kids safe - don't rely on owners who often are unaware of how uncomfortable their dog is.

trainingtracks.com/politely-greet-dog

It really annoys me when people just start touching my dogs - and I usually tell them so! I have big dogs, I know they're soft as mush, but a stranger startling them is not a good idea, they are protective.

It's just manners, and I wish more people like you had them.

Glad the consensus is that dog owners don't mind being asked; my children will often ask if it's ok to stroke dogs we see out and about. I do tend to dissuade them from bothering people who look like they are in a hurry though!

I also teach my children quiet and slow when approaching any animal, which always goes down well.

I have a doggie loving five year old and I've been teaching this, although she doesn't always obey the rule as she gets very exited. I did like DD's approach of asking the names of the dogs and that gave the owner the chance to let her pet them or to carry on walking without having to refuse her stroking them. Most owners are lovely but some must have dogs who don't like children and find approaching children quite stressful. I'm a little scared of dogs so am very wary, I'm relieved when owners are relaxed and happy about it.

I've never said no when someone's asked, adult or child, my 2 are big lickers though so have to warn people!

As a dog owner I appreciate it. I do not get alot of requests to pat my hyper border collie and think that she would love more attention from people.