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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Year 5 is a bit of a nightmare?

88 replies

WyrdByrd · 09/06/2015 20:06

DD is in Yr 5 (thank God only 6 weeks to go).

The last 8 months just seem to have been very niggly in terms of school, development, friendships in particular & general drama.

It's ringing a vague bell with me that this year group/age has a reputation for being particularly hellish and just wondered if anyone else is experiencing/has experienced the same thing & when it settles down.

Apparently their Head of Year has had words with them today because as a year group she is fed up of their constant unnecessary/OTT 'fussing' .

OP posts:

mugglingalong · 10/06/2015 07:37

If you think that's hard imagine yr5 in an 11+ area! Fortunately half of them are too focused on studying to worry about friendship problems. I imagine that yr 6 will be a bit grim after the class has been divided into those who pass and those who don't.

Original poster

WyrdByrd · 10/06/2015 07:37

Annie that's really interesting, as I think my DD's 'difficult' friend is probably going through much the same as your DS.

He's always been a lovely lad & lots of fun, so from what DD tells me I'm fairly certain it's age related hormones/insecurities causing his recent behaviour.

Unfortunately that doesn't make it any easier for his friends who are on the receiving end of it .

OP posts:

HearTheThunderRoar · 10/06/2015 07:57

I found year 5&6 a piece of cake but it could be because it was a small country school and only about 6 other girls DD's age so there wasn't much to bitch about and if you did you wouldn't have anyone to hang out with, also it was when social media was just developing.

Year 8&9 was hellish IME.

ihearttc · 10/06/2015 08:01

DS1 is in Y5 and it has been a complete and utter nightmare. He has a teacher he doesn't like (and the teacher doesn't like him either) and they have been in the same class of children for 3 years and quite honestly they are all sick of each other.

popalot · 10/06/2015 08:02

Niggles start in year 3, tears/rows begin in year 4, big fall outs in year 5, more settled in friendship groups year 6. All about working out who they like as their hormones develop.

Ahrightsoted · 10/06/2015 08:06

I'm going to read this thread properly later so just place marking.
We are having major problems with bullying towards my son. He's yr 5. It's always been a problem but has really come to a head in the last few months. We've started the complaint procedures and I'm very worried about him. It's emotional and in the past cyber bullying

Shinyandnew1 · 10/06/2015 08:06

I have to say that year 5 was a doddle compared to year 6-especially from March onwards when they know which secondary school they are going to and they form little factions!!

muminhants1 · 10/06/2015 08:44

Y4 was the difficult year for my ds - Y5 was better and Y6 was fantastic despite the pressure of SATS - they had a lot of fun as well. So they are all different!

madhairday · 10/06/2015 09:01

I found y6 - 8 most difficult for dd. She's much more settled now in y9, she's found a lovely group she's happy with who have similar interests and are not too bitchy, just the odd fall out but nothing like the utter bitchfest of y8.

Ds is in y6 and definitely found y5 harder. Settled now and doesn't want to leave for secondary :(

Tips for getting through - don't make their dramas bigger than they are by getting too emotionally involved. Be three, supporting and talking things through. Don't give solutions a lot of the time - they'll come to their own if you're a sounding board. Listening skills v important - a good book is the how to talk so kids listen and listen so kids talk book.

They'll get through it and all handle it so differently so what works for one won't for another.

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/06/2015 09:11

Y5 was awful, but not for friendship reasons.
Y6 we are just coming to the end and was chatting to another mum yesterday. Whilst our DDs have not been involved in the major dramas ( and boy there have been some) there is still a lot of hair tossing, it's unfair and your ruining my life type stuff. Neither of our girls do social media and both happily still play.
The headmaster told me last term the problem with year 6 girls is that there are those who are ready to go to senior school, those who are not ready and those who think they are already there.

anothermakesthree · 10/06/2015 09:12

Yr6. - had enough of each other
Yr7- nightmare, new school, introduction of social media.

Yr8 quite settled
Yr9 awful, boys come into the scene and lack of focus
Yr10 Yippeeee! Focus of GCSE's and greater maturity

Totally agree with madhairday, keep an emotional distance. You will do your child no favours if you can't keep perspective.

GammonAndEgg · 10/06/2015 09:23

I'm a primary headteacher. Year 5 & Year 6 are never easy!
The usual cliched because it's true is that the boys fall out, have a scrap, get told off, shake hands, start again.

The girls do it like this:
'a' makes a sarky comment about 'b' to 'c'. C tells D who, together, tell B, who cries and strops (for about 4 play times). B, C and D ignore A, who claims not to know why and has probably forgotten by now cries and strops for 4 more play times. Now there are lots of messages by text/FB/whatsApp etc and teachers trying to unravel all of this.
A tells B that actually it was E that said it about her so B messages E to say 'I thought you were my friend'. E has a go at A. C and D are excited. B is still crying. Then E acknowledges they made a comment but it wasn't meant like that so A says sorry to C for passing it about and B says sorry for getting involved. D has no idea really what went on but caught up in the drama, and 2 of the parents have been to see me about the whole incident. Everyone is pleased it's settled and the girls bond over pencil cases. Then B tells E that D said she was flirting with C's boyfriend....

Lonecatwithkitten · 10/06/2015 09:35

Gammon you forgot falling out over not having the right type of pencil case.

springlamb · 10/06/2015 09:42

Then a great huge spanner is thrown into the works which sets the cat among the pigeon and causes all the girls bar X to gang up together and make cats bum faces.
It is inadvertently revealed by Boy G that Girl X kissed Boy Z on the cheek in the storage space under the stairs where the gym mats are kept.

I am currently navigating my way, with much care, many tears and lots of chocolate, through Yr8 so Yrs 5 and 6 seem like so much fun.

springlamb · 10/06/2015 09:43

I mean DD is Yr 8.
I am Yr42 and that raises its own issues.

Shinyandnew1 · 10/06/2015 11:37

'a' makes a sarky comment about 'b' to 'c'. C tells D who, together, tell B, who cries and strops (for about 4 play times). B, C and D ignore A, who claims not to know why and has probably forgotten by now cries and strops for 4 more play times. Now there are lots of messages by text/FB/whatsApp etc and teachers trying to unravel all of this.A tells B that actually it was E that said it about her so B messages E to say 'I thought you were my friend'. E has a go at A. C and D are excited. B is still crying. Then E acknowledges they made a comment but it wasn't meant like that so A says sorry to C for passing it about and B says sorry for getting involved. D has no idea really what went on but caught up in the drama, and 2 of the parents have been to see me about the whole incident. Everyone is pleased it's settled and the girls bond over pencil cases. Then B tells E that D said she was flirting with C's boyfriend

That really made me laugh! Spot on!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 10/06/2015 12:01

DS has sailed through Yrs 5 and 6 (which he's in now) fairly unscathed, but I have heard all sorts of tales of woe from other parents, Y5 being the worst, and the teacher, who has left now, didn't help much by all accounts DD is Yr 4 now and is so far fine, but again I'm picking up vibes of it all starting again from other parents. It's a single form school so they are stuck together for 7 years, no wonder there are fallings out.

Kilmeny · 10/06/2015 12:18

Agree that year 9 is a special sort of hell. Also would advise that if you have a child prone to anxiety, depression, general emo-ness to keep them off bloody tumblr as long as humanely possible. Dd uninterested in FB but has found many many people to empathise with her on tumblr and not in a good way.

Original poster

WyrdByrd · 10/06/2015 14:49

Gammon that is more or less the kind of monologue conversation I'm having with DD at least 3 times a week at the moment - even of the falling out in question is not directly to do with her and there is nothing she can do about it.

I love her dearly but spend most of the first hour after she comes home on state of glazed stupefaction while she turbo witters about who has done/said what to whom.

OP posts:

ouryve · 10/06/2015 14:52

Just wait for year 8. The year of peak galloping mass puberty.

Original poster

WyrdByrd · 10/06/2015 17:30

Just wait for year 8. The year of peak galloping mass puberty.

Sounds terrific ...

OP posts:

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 10/06/2015 17:35

I swear I have JUST had that conversation with DD, GammonAndEgg. With added "AND my toe has hurt all day AND the choir teacher didn't give me a copy of the song sheet because she doesn't like me AND Amelia has taken my locker key but if it isn't Amelia then it must be Jessica because she wants to be friends with Sophie but Sophie doesn't like me but Amelia wants to have a sleepover this weekend, can she mum?"

NOOOOOOOOOOO.

LoveTheWets · 10/06/2015 19:07

Is it a certain type of girl who goes through this? I don't mean that in a negative way; DD is very easy going, resilient (does not take after me!) and lets the drama pass her by. Likewise many of her friends. However, I do know some of the girls are struggling with hormones and wanting to be cool and they often become victims of the vile bullies who DD avoids.

hiddenhome · 10/06/2015 19:24

Yes, indeed.

Ds' maths table kept calling each other 'wankers' today. I had to explain what it meant when he arrived home.

I hate all things Primary, everything seems so angst ridden

HagOtheNorth · 10/06/2015 19:36

I am happily trotting round Sussex, teaching a number of Y5 and Y6 classes. Some of them are lovely. Some of them less so.
Most of Y6 are demob happy as they are post-SATS and residential trips, so rather like lions they are either lolling around and easy-going or trying to eat you. (unsuccessfully)
Y9 was horrible for both of mine and many of their friends. GCSE selections and Y10 were a godsend as many of the issues faded into the background.

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