Phrases/sayings that irrationally annoy the life out of you

[Candycoco]

I cannot stand it when someone is asking about what to use in a certain situation, and people say "... [Such and such] is your friend" argh I hate that!

Or when people describe something as their "go-to" product .

Don't know why but I just hate those phrases! Anyone else ?!

I think passed away sounds much kinder and more sensitive.

I hate 'bob over'.

I don't like it when people say things like 'makes my teeth itch', it's as though you're trying to sound really clever.

Not really a phrase or saying but it also winds me up when people are snobs about food. So when someone says how they went to MacDonalds or Greggs and then goes onto explain how it's the first time in their life they've been there and how they usually only eat organic lentils or something, but they were starving to death and Macdonalds was all there was in 100miles.

It goes hand in hand with 'cooking from scratch', everlasting chickens, people who refuse halal meat but are happy to buy cheap clothes and products that aren't fairtrade, and boiling carcasses for stock, just eat and be glad that there is so much food available for goodness sake.

Gorge instead of gorgeous
Totes
Amazeballs
Cray cray
Any food in a restaurant that is "house made" or "hand cut"
Playdate

So many phrases.
People calling their DC "pal" or "mate"

"Needs gone/mowed/cleaned/moved/fed" this only annoys me when I see it written. I know it's a dialect thing so it's not as bad to hear it spoken but reading it is awful.

"They've given rain for Sunday" who are 'They'?

"I'm good" no you are really fucking annoying.

"Are you on glue?" it's such a cringy phrase.

Was used instead of were.

Wher I live it's common to add a pointless "...and all that." to the end of a sentence or sometimes in the middle of one.
"We was gonna 'ave a picnic and all that"

Epic or legend used to describe everything.

'ripped out' as in 'we ripped out the kitchen, wardrobes, carpets etc; they were so awful we couldn't have them in our our house a moment longer'. No one seems to replace anything any more.

Referring to what you would wear with something as 'styling' it.

Oh and a new one that's suddenly everywhere at work: 'X, are you able to speak to those figures', to mean 'speak about'.

I'm from Glasgow. Not sure if these are geographical or not but (posted on Facebook): 'on it like a car bonnet' translated: I'm drinking and I'm going to get drunk
Or, in a club/at a party when a dance tune comes on: 'here we, here we, here we fucking go'

Grinds my gears

"Random" as in "that is so random".
"Inspirational" when it isn't.
"They all get there in the end." No they don't.

I hate it when people say 'errrr RANDOM!' in response to something you said that might have been slightly out of the blue, or a non sequitur.

It's not 'random', you idiot!

lambsie, SNAP! ;)

"If it's meant to be it will be."
"Everything happens for a reason"
Meaningless crapola.

'Should've gone to Specsavers"

"Choccy biccies"

"Rant over!!"

Random drives me mad.

And my pedantic hat goes on with 'ignorant' instead of 'insolent' - very very common. Usually I guess because the person being insolent is also usually ignorant 'getting ignorant'

Oh and 'loosing' weight

If I were you I would... and then some shit advice that I didn't ask for

Any variant of "Nom".
"Top Tips" (annoyingly perky).
"Pump" when used for passing wind.
Leaving out the word "to", after "go". "Let's go pub!"
"Poorly" - especially when the "oo" is stretched into two syllables.

"Feeling emotional" gives me the rage. I'm aware that this is just me being horrible, though.

Not so much a phrase but a way of childishly mangling one’s vowels so that e.g. Tuesday becomes “cheeseday” and “so” becomes “say”. Professor Alice Roberts is a particular offender.

Also vocal fry. I am a fan of US public radio but some programmes have now become unlistenable.

I think I'm just an old gimmer though.

God takes the good ones first (eh? Does that mean the evil buggers live to be 100? And what comfort was that to my cousin whose baby died before they were a year old? )

Your Best Christmas Ever - oh right, so the rest will be cack

Here Comes Summer (no idea why, but I get ) closely followed by "Where's Our Summer"

Topping up my tan

Sipping an ice cold drink ( again, no idea why)

I'm sorry but you're wrong (I might be wrong, but you're not sorry, just smug)

Work emails talking about 'synergies' and 'methodology'

nom nom nom, and a picture of a plate of food on Facebook. (we all eat, don't we?)

'Designer' - I know know they mean 'Big Designer Name' but surely everything is designed?

'Poorly'

"I won't be a minute" - yes you will, you'll be ages.

"Cheer up it might never happen" - actually it already has, that's why I look like this.

"End of" - what, the World? Tell me...please.

People who type 'alot' annoy me. It is two freaking words. A LOT.

People who mix your and you're up do the same.

I also hate 'corporate speak.' Drives me nuts.

Nigel Slater is forever 'popping' and even worse 'tucking' ingredients into his cooking. For some reason this makes my skin crawl. YOU AREN'T PUTTING A FUCKING BABY TO BED YOU ARE COOKING VEGETABLES FGS!!!!

Sorry. It's been bugging me for years. Thankyou for this thread OP, I feel better now!

Oh anfd of course 'of an evening' has that dreaded fellow traveller 'the wife'

Whenever someone starts a thread with 'Has anyone' rather than 'has anyone on MN' eg 'Has anyone been to Wales?' I want to put 'yes lots of people'.