Phrases/sayings that irrationally annoy the life out of you

[Candycoco]

I cannot stand it when someone is asking about what to use in a certain situation, and people say "... [Such and such] is your friend" argh I hate that!

Or when people describe something as their "go-to" product .

Don't know why but I just hate those phrases! Anyone else ?!

Laughing at "non?" Not seen that one but no what you mean with the "no?" Idiots

"Do you know what I mean. "
Usually used repeatedly in a conversation. Reminds me of Jeremy Kyle.

"I'm not being funny but"
Usually followed by something really spiteful/demeaning.

Pacifically.
You mean specifically

I dislike 'LOL'. Makes me feel prickly when I read it, but everyone else I know seems to use it, including my own mother in text messages!

Holibobs

Agree with so many of these. Absolutely agree with 'going forward', argh, people use it all the time. What's wrong with 'next time' or 'in future' ??

Fucking hate it when people put the word fresh in front of things like "fresh fruit" "fresh coffee" to make it seem more classy somehow.

lots:

I tuned round and said

The word 'vile' seems to be used to describe anything and everything these days

spag bol - GRRRRR

I don't mind 'playdate'

Any corporate phrases - especially when I'm not at work!

People talking about pinging emails

Susan I love your response to "I'm not being funny but..."

There are so many, but I just can't think of them. Most of them are corporate

FB post that end in 'just saying'

Tripadvisor reviews that talk about 'there's nothing to do of an evening'. Don't know why it irritates me so much, but it does.

My colleague hates the expression 'You're joking me'. I can't say I've ever really noticed anyone using it but it really bugs him.

GOING FORWARD really grates, or any other office jargon. One poster a long time ago used to end her posts offering ((((((soft hugs))))) which gave me the absolute RAGE!

For some reason I can't stand to read/hear the phrase "call him/her [out] on it".

I have no idea why but it really annoys me. It's not a phrase I had ever heard until a few years back when my (hated) ex-boss used to say it a lot.

Maybe I dislike it so much because of the association it now has with her...

Kurri that is funny!

I hate when people say 'why for'. Why means what for!

Hun
Hubby/hubs/hubster
To die for
Toodles
Totes
Amazeballs
Singing from the same hymn sheet
Starting off a sentence with 'so'
Ending a sentence or punctuating one with 'like' 'you know' or 'innit'
Saying something is 'proper' good or 'well' good are the ones that really gives me the rage though

Womeb who refer to their sons (it is always sons and always women) as their "sexy little man".

It is such an inappropriate use of the word sexy. Usually seen on facebook, that mumsnet favourite.

I'd forgotten about 'of an evening'....

Softplay

Always seems to imply that children today are all special snowflakes who must never in any circumstances do anything vaguely risky or where they might get a bump on the knee.

HATE when people say "the bab-ee" instead of baby ??

"Just kidding" or "Only Joking", "Where's your sense of humor?"

All of which I seem to encounter directly after someone has something either very unfunny or offensive but couched as a joke.

'Very unique'.

It's either unique or it isn't. Any unique thing is exactly as unique as any other unique thing (i.e. unique ).

'A greedy lunch'.

How do you know the lunch is greedy? Did it tell you of its cravings? Are you sure you don't just mean 'big'? Or suitable for greedy people?

All management speak. I just despise it.

And 'One of them things'.

Cheeky Nandos - anyone who says this deserve immediate death by tazing
Go big or go home - makes me visibly cringe
Smile, it might never happen! - mind your own fucking business and you might never get punched in the face by me. Also, next time a stranger says this to me I'm just gonna be like actually, I just found out my mum died.....

"Not to interupt, but..." Ffs YOU ARE INTERUPTING ANYWAY rant over

Can someone tell me what "whoop whoop" and "nom nom" mean please?

I must be getting old

The trend, on here for making a statement to undermine someone with the ending ",no?" Or even worse ,"non?" When the rest of the statement was in English
I've found this is mostly used by mainland Europeans asking a question in English to which they arent terribly sure is correct or not. I hear it ALOT in the workplace and picked it up myself over time, never 'non' though.

Frikadela
The phrase 'you cant have your cake and eat it too' is apprantly actually meant to mean 'you cant have ate your cake, and still have it' which still makes absolutely no fucking sense.

mileend !!

You said 'ALOT'!