To think if you don't KNOW someone's pregnant you shouldn't comment on their bump?

[DrinkGirlsFeck]

At the weekend, I was sorting out the DC in the foyer of the pool. I mentioned to a woman that it was unusually hot and she said "yes, my friend and I were just saying it must be even worse for you with a bump."

It goes without saying I'm not pregnant. clearly just fat at most I look 5 months gone, not 8)

In my (and to an extent her) defence I have been losing weight and have been left with slimmer legs etc and a 'mr man' belly. Thanks dc.

But JUST DON'T ask about a bump if don't know it's a fucking baby.

I know someone with a health condition that makes their belly swell. Well meaning but stupid comments really upset her as it's quite a serious condition.
Someone once gave her the stink eye for drinking wine in the pub. She was so angry at being made to feel she had to share her medical situation to avoid hate.

Someone I was friends with hasn't spoken to me since I made this very mistake. She was so offended and my grovelling apologies didn't make it any better. I've not brought up the subject of pregnancy with any woman since then. That was 24 years ago!

I think it's hilarious. Especially when men do it. Especially when they have a beer gut and zero excuse. Dad Bod my left boob!

I got it 3 times in three months, the last person to ask me was a woman at the nursery my nephew goes to. I went to pick him up with my DD and she asked if I was expecting again, she was perfectly pleasant about it and horrifically embarrassed when I replied that I was just fat ;)
The trouble for me, is I've put on weight in the last year, which I am happy about, but it all goes to my tummy, which I'm not so happy about really. I'm working on keeping the weight, but getting a flatter tummy.
I also have IBS which leads to bloating, which makes me look pregnant and unfortunately on the day this lady asked I'd had a bad flare up. So in all fairness, I did look in the early stages of pregnancy, I'm skinny other than the tummy, so it looks more obvious, and more like a pregnancy than just being chubby. So I don't get offended by it, luckily for the people who have asked me.

I've decided though I wasn't quick enough off the mark last time, but next time someone phrases it 'oooh are you expecting?' I'll be telling them yes, I'm expecting another piece of cake to be waiting for me when I get home

I don't think people should comment though, at any point. There was a mum at the school gate, and I wasn't sure if she was or not, so I didn't ask (she was, and has a gorgeous newborn now)

I don't think people should coment, and to the poster who said if you don't want the comments you know what to do... WTH?! I look pregnant at the moment, but its because I have cancer. Peoples comment don't bother me that much, but they do serve as an unpleasant reminder and also a reminder of the miscarriage I had recently (yet another one), not long before my diagnosis. Also, they could really upset someone else. Now when people say anything I'm just blunt but polite, I figure that if they're going to comment they can hear the supposedly socially unsavoury answer.
Maybe I'm just a grumpy sod though

Downtownfunk, erm, yes, I know she was! I'm saying it was a shitty thing to do to somebody. It floats your boat making somebody feel crap for a laugh? Nice

My friend was asked by a sainsbury's cashier if the stilton she was buying was for her, as it can be dangerous 'in her condition'... my friend is slim apart from a little extra belly - friend was mortified! I still take the piss

zoe next time ask them if they've been shoplifting for footballs

Sorry for delay in responding - been at work eating cake

No, I'm not usually sensitive about my weight , and have managed to lose about 1.5 stones over the last year (a total of 2.5 since last DC). In fact, I'm pretty insensitive .

However it's hard to know how to respond without making the other person feel crap/lying/going out of my way to make them feel better about their comment. I'm a bit fat (bmi of 27, since you ask, and yes, I want to get into a healthy weight range) but hardly massive. I just think that even when I lose the last few pounds (oh ok, stone) I'm still going to get people pissing on my chips because they don't think before they open their cake hole.

Oh I am totally sensitive about my weight.

My responses to date to the query 'Oh, when are you due?' is to say '3 years ago'. Or 'Clearly I need to go back to weightwatchers then'.

Then I go home and cry.

Oh corn chips, don't cry. Come on here and we will invent ways to get our revenge. Maybe I'll invent a new 'baby NOT on board so don't fucking ask!' badge. Or perhaps one with 'My reproductive status is not up for comment or discussion unless you're willing to explain why you're so rude'.

Just after Christmas someone (who I had met twice) commented that I was a bit old to be a new mum wasn't I?
Double whammy: I'm 39 so not exactly ancient and youngest was just about to turn 3.
Went home and bitched to DH about it while swearing to lose weight, his helpful response was 'this is why I don't comment on a pregnancy until I can see it's head'...

I'm in. [rolls up sleeves]

I like the 'baby not on board so don't fucking ask'. I think not on the high street do nice personalised engraved stuff here.....

www.notonthehighstreet.com/mercimaman/product/personalised-baby-on-board-brooch

Stars, sorry to hear about your diagnosis and your miscarriage. Seriously, what do people expect other than a terse response? I get the small talk thing but we're (at least I am) British, fgs. There's always the fecking weather... Or, if you want to make a personal comment, how about "that's a lovely dress"...

Next time I see a "I stood all the way from Crewe to Exeter because none of those selfish bastards would offer me a seat" thread I'm pointing them here to back up my normal "Get a badge or ask!" response.

Mind you I ruined an obese friend's day by totally not noticing that she was 7 months pregnant.

Dragons, your husband is a wise man. And 39 is definitely not ancient! (I might be a little older and youngest dc is 4.)

Corn chips I'm on it. I might also make a small notepad printed with a checklist of how the offender could improve their appearance/behaviour. I could fill it in and provide it to them as a service.

Here is what I do, when I am not sure..... I say to someone who might have a bit of bump and if I am not sure 'Gosh you are looking amazing!!!! What;s your secret?!'

Although to be fair last week I saw someone who is usually quite large and she had lost heaps of weight and I exclaimed 'You're looking skinny!!' before I could stop myself.

Last week I overheard a little girl at school asking my DS "is your mummy getting another baby? It looks like she's got one in her tummy" Eldest is 3 .. time for Weightwatchers again!

I have been mistaken for pregnant a few times, when I've not been but when I actually have been pregnant people haven't mentioned until I tell them and then they say I thought you were but didn't want to say lol it's true people can't win either way, if you know you're a bit round in the mid section I don't think you should get upset at being mistaken for pregnant. No one means any badness so you shouldn't take any from it

When my boss announced in a management meeting that I was pregnant and therefore we'd be looking for a replacement the oldest member of our team (a lovely little 63 year old lady who never raises her voice or swears, unlike the rest of the 20/30 something mainly alpha male management team) said to me when we left 'oh I am glad, I thought you were just getting fat'.

Definitely do not comment on a bump or anything else unless the woman in question mentions that she is expecting.

You should just look confused then ask them when their surgery is booked for.... to remove their huge foot out of their big mouth. Failing that, the old mn favourite head tilt with a 'did you mean to be so rude'

I think we should turn it around and be proud about looking slightly pregnant. Pregnant women are beautiful; full of life and blossoming. Compared with some women who are thin, worried on a constant diet. They might never be asked if they are pregnant, but I rather enjoy a cookie and stay sane and now and then get a inquisitive look or the question (usually from fellow mums must be said).

There's a woman at the school I teach at who is really tall and carries her babies very neat so when she's 8/9 months is just starting to show. A few people locally know her and know I work in the same school. When I was about 4 months pg with dd and hardly showing (didn't tell people till 6 months I was so small) someone I didn't know said "ooh are you that teacher who's 8 months but hardly shows?" I was really embarrassed as I hadn't told friends yet just close family I also have ibs so get bloated a lot. People really shouldn't ask especially if they don't know you well!

This happens to me literally every month at least once, but usually more frequently. I'm having plastic surgery at the end of the month to put a stop to it. It ruins casual friendships because they are so mortified at getting it wrong. I have ended up comforting the asker who's in tears at their error before now!! So cringey

:( Henna that's so horrible. My sister's friend had a stomach condition when she was a teenager that made her stomach so swollen at times- she used to get it a lot too :(