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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be thoroughly fed up and close to tears?

45 replies

hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 18:42

I am 39 weeks pregnant, and feel pregnant immediately following a MC so all in all, bar a brief 2.5 week gap I've been pregnant for nearly 11 months. Everything hurts, I can't face food as it just makes me feel sick/need the loo and my SPD means I just cannot get comfy in bed so sleeping like poo.

I know I should be excited and happy to be having my baby and really I am, but AIBU to feel really fed up and tearful?! My DP keeps saying it won't be long etc and gets a bit annoyed with me if I am not 100% perky and happy so trying to hide how bloody miserable I feel but it's getting difficult!

Any words of wisdom on how to not fall apart waiting for labour greatly received!
When I had DD1 although I went overdue I wasn't uncomfortable like I am this time and breezed though it! Confused

OP posts:
PattiODoors · 08/06/2015 18:49

Oh bless you and a wry smile at sleeping like poo.

No tips really apart from feel free to stab your husband* if he keeps on insisting on Enforced Jollity.

*joke

WanderWomble · 08/06/2015 18:53

You're not being unreasonable. I got throughly fed up at the same point- I just wanted the baby out and my body back!

You DP needs a kick in the rear- he's not the one growing a baby!

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 18:53

I really felt like slapping him earlier Blush he came in from work and asked me what was for dinner-I said I didn't know and hadn't taken anything out so asked what he fancied and he asked me aghast what I'd been doing all day! He really does mean well but I am so over this pregnancy now Sad.

OP posts:
Reignbeau · 08/06/2015 18:57

I know what you mean, I felt the same as you at that stage. My house was a tip and I had no motivation to do anything. I went into labour at 39+4 so fingers crossed you don't have long now.

Lolimax · 08/06/2015 18:57

Not sure I can say anything to make you feel better but you must be absolutely exhausted. Take care of yourself the next couple of days and I hope baby make a quick (not too quick!) appearance. Xx

cailindana · 08/06/2015 19:04

Sorry what? You're 39 weeks pregnant, so carrying full grown newborn around in your abdomen 24/7 and your DP asked you what's for dinner?? Seriously? Is he normally such an arsehole?

KurriKurri · 08/06/2015 19:04

Sympathise enormously with the extended pregnancy when you get pregnant soon after a MC - I had that and it really does make it feel like a very long time to be pregnant. And I didn't have SPD to deal with so you must be feeling very fed up.

And of course it's a lot easier to cope with a first pregnancy because you haven't got a small child to look after, and if you need a rest you can put your feet up for a bit - there's no let up when you've got a toddler.

I know your husband is trying to jolly you along a probably thinks he's being helpful, but is he helping out in practical ways and giving you a break. He needs to make sure he takes care of your DD as much as possible so you can rest and help out in practical ways - maybe he could make some stuff for the freezer at weekends so you don't have to cook so much in the week. I'd give him a load of practical suggestions of he says he wants you to cheer up - I guess it's hard to imagine what it's like to be pregnant, but he needs to accept it when you say you feel down or tired.

Anyway - that's probably not much help, but just wanted you to know it's quite normal for a second pregnancy to be harder work and to feel tearful and worn down, don't be down on yourself or feel you aren't coping as well as you should. Can you keep yourself going with some little planned treats each day - a nice DVD/book, a nice luxurious bath each evening - just give yourself something to look forward to each day to get you through this last stretch before your new baby arrives Flowers

DelphiniumBlue · 08/06/2015 19:07

I used to reckon that the last month or 2 of pregnancy was so uncomfortable so that you would feel grateful for for the respite once the baby arrives and you are coping with sleepless nights etc. Better out than in!
Does your DP understand that even walking is nigh on impossible with SPD?
I'd get you midwife to recommend bedrest for you until the baby is born.
Seriously, DP needs to man up and look after you, not be wondering where his dinner is!

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 19:09

Thank you for the kind messages of support! I really am shattered, but managing to keep the house tidy etc by doing a little bit every day. My DP is pretty good practically, is building a crib as we speak but just doesn't get how uncomfortable I am I guess.

Seeing MW tomorrow and my consultant said I can have a sweep so fingers crossed it does something!

OP posts:
Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 19:12

bed rest wouldn't really help, can't bloody get comfortable lol! Water is good though, was going to float in the local pool everyday but can't get in my maternity costume anymore so have to make do with baths now which isn't anywhere near as nice but will have to do

OP posts:
Yarp · 08/06/2015 19:19

You poor thing. It's horrible, isn't it?

Hope it comes soon - please let us know!

LavenderRain · 08/06/2015 19:20

All I can say is that the day before I went into labour I felt extremely tearful and sick and constantly on the loo, so you never know things might happen soon

Flowers and Brew for you and a kick up the arse for DP

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 19:21

Will do! Really hope I don't go over again Sad

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bumbleymummy · 08/06/2015 19:57

Poor you. Yes, the last few weeks are tough and your DH should be making you dinner and succumbing to your every whim! Cake and Thanks

WickedGirl · 08/06/2015 19:57

I really feel for you. SPD is horrid and so is insomnia. I remember that feeling of wanting to cry and just wanting the pregnancy over with as I too suffered with SPD and insomnia (and heartburn) .....the last weeks of my pregnant were bloody awful. I look at my little girl now and I know she was worth every bit of it but it was really tough being in so much pain all the time

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 20:35

Thank you all, I'm feeling a lot better knowing I'm not being a cow for feeling like this!

I know it will all be worth it in the end, just wish I could be a bit more mobile. My pelvi/hips are seriously loose and my bsck is chronic, but not long to go now Smile.
40 weeks on Sunday so with any luck she'll come soon and not 2 weeks late like her big sister!

OP posts:
ladyflower23 · 08/06/2015 20:41

I was absolutely desperate to get my second one out and had not even been through what you have. Even without spd was so uncomfortable/Fed up and just wanted to meet my baby soooo much!! I had a sweep and DD was out 2 and a quarter hours later. Hope it's as quick for you Grin

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 20:43

Oh wow!Shock 2 and a quarter hours is amazing! I would be in seventh heaven if that happened to me! Grin

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Icimoi · 08/06/2015 20:51

YABU for limiting yourself to wanting to slap your DH for asking what you had been doing all day. In your position I'd have gone for a kick in the nadgers, not least to give him some inkling of how you're feeling all day every day.

Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 20:55

I must admit the idea did cross my mind icimoi! He's made a big show now of cleaning upstairs with no dinner yet, what a champ Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
hullabaloo234 · 08/06/2015 21:23

I've come to bed as I can't keep the tears at bay any longer Sad
Tell me to get a grip please!!

OP posts:
liquidrevolution · 08/06/2015 21:28

No. I wont tell you to get a grip.

Have a good cry instead.

I also had a horrible pregnancy and just wanted baby out by 39 weeks. There is no need to apologise or feel bad.

liquidrevolution · 08/06/2015 21:30

Sorry that was a bit blunt Grin

But I had sever SPD so I do know how you are feeling.

Sending sweep vibes for tomorrow. In the meantime have some Flowers

BlackeyedSusan · 08/06/2015 21:31

tell him you are growing a whole other person and as such have been busy for the last 11 months. he can get his arse into gear and do anything that needs walking as because you dare growing this whole other person you are unableto walk. ask him if he would like hihis pelvic bones separated from each other, whether he would like his lungs squashed his ribs displaced, the joints in his feet to spread, and someone kicking him day and night because you would be happy to oblige. ask if he would like to have to pee every half hour, make extra blood just to keep alive and grow boobs ready to feed baby only then to go through pain similar to having his balls clamped in a vice...

it was the sort of daft thing that ex used to say... but not often repeated once his ears had stoppped ringing.

NickyEds · 08/06/2015 21:54

I had a "I need to burst into tears" moment the other day. I'm only 35 weeks and sooo uncomfortable all if the time. Ds is almost 18 months and I'm doing a pretty shit job with him tbh.

You don't need to get a grip you need some tlc and kindness. You really don't need to feel bad about it. Even much wanted pregnancies can be really tough and smug dicks expecting a parade because they've run a vac round the house doesn't help!
Flowers Flowers