to think that it is just plain rude of a 12/13/14 year old to not say hello to a friend of his or her parents?

[Mintyy]

NT teen and someone they have known since reception?

Coming to their parent who you are talking to?

Interrupting to speak to the parent and deliberately avoiding eye contact and failing to say hello?

Rude ...

If a child of mine behaved like this I would be ashamed/embarrassed/furious all at once.

Can I just say the teen politely interrupted? I have no problem with that. Teen stood and waited for a moment to ask parent something quickly (wanted money - ha!). The rest was a non-event only if you think manners are unimportant Ragged.

And what do you mean "entitled?" if you think it is entitled to expect a very basic level of courtesy from people you know, then perhaps it is. Otherwise I think you might have chosen the wrong word there.

Teenagers can be rude??
News to me

We live in lreland and we're visiting frioof my dh who live in London. Their two dds who both go to Oxford came in at different times. Neither looked at or acknowledged us. Their parents said..do you remember... But no response. I was shocked at their rudeness especially they were gone past the age of social awkwardness which l would have sympathy for.

Friends!

But if you didn't say hello to them maybe the teen is thinking 'how rude of my parents friend not to say hello to me'..!

I was very shy at that age. I would have waited for the adult to say hello first.

Maybe they felt a bit awkward to be interrupting and thought it was less rude to get straight out the way. I was very awkward as a teen and might have done that. I don't know, even now at 25 if I walked up to my mum and her friend talking I'd probably just smile and not get into a big conversation and that's with an extra 10+ years maturity. Some people just aren't that sociable or comfortable in social situations. I doubt they meant to be rude.

That's teenagers for you.
I'd be embarrassed if mine did that, but would wait till later to pull her up for it, and would probably play it down in front of you so as not to cause a scene.

I'm a high school teacher. It isNOT just teens. The majority of teens at my school are polite, mannerly, say good morning, say hello if they see me in town etc. It's bad manners.

No, ashmts, I didn't want to get into conversation with her. I just expected her to look at me and say hello. That is all. Or even just say hello if eye contact too much. She absolutely knew it was me and that I was there. She isn't a shy child either! Like I said, I knew her reasonably well.

Um, did you say hello?

I only ask because these things are a two way thing aren't they?

I think I would actually be a bit upset if my child were so socially inept by teenagerhood, unless there were mitigating circumstances.

Still not convinced she was being rude, just a bit thoughtless. When she was waiting for the moment to interrupt, did you acknowledge her?

Wouldn't "hello!" Be an interruption too, if they came up to parents chatting?

If not using conventional manners = being thoughtless rather than rude, then I suppose you are right.

Perhaps you missed where I said this:

"It is only because I was feeling especially benign and patient today that I didn't loudly say "hello" to teen in question after I'd attempted to make eye contact several times while we were standing there."

My kids far from ignoring my friends totally monopolize them not allowing me to get a word in

Ds is 10 and walks home from school so if he bumps into a friend of mine he will have a chat, tell them about his day... my friends think he is lovely. He is suspected Aspergers, but that doesn't always mean that a child is unsociable,quite the opposite, we has learnt conversational openers but does bring the talk around to his favourite topics quickly.

I sometimes fantasize about having quiet sullen children, that don't blurt out embarrassing details of our lives to acquaintances, like how they have a verucca, or how they didn't get dressed at all last weekend... etc.

Maybe the teen is now on TeensNet moaning that their friend's mum didn't acknowledge her by saying hello...

Communication is a two way street. Bit weird of you to eyeball them waiting for them to say hello, instead of just saying hello yourself.

Anyway, I really wouldn't give it too much headspace.

Was that to me, Mintyy? No, I didn't miss that bit. I was just putting myself in the place of a teenager approaching a parent chatting to other parents and just lurking until it was opportune to break in and ask for what I wanted.
It would be more disruptive to waltz up, say " hello! " and greet each and every adult individually.

"It is only because I was feeling especially benign and patient today that I didn't loudly say "hello" to teen in question after I'd attempted to make eye contact several times while we were standing there."

So... you didn't say hello to the teen and they didn't say hello to you. Six of one and half a dozen of the other. Plus as the adult in the situation, I'd say expectations on you are higher. YABVU imo.

Ime, if a small group of people are standing talking and you come up to the group to interrupt, you need to say hello and sorry to interrupt to the people in the group.

Perhaps I am just hopelessly old fashioned .

I would, but I'm not aged 12-14. I'd give them a break tbh, no matter how long I'd known them.

I'm not sure tbh, perhaps they thought it would have been more of an interruption to say hello. If you had said hello and the teen had ignored you then yes, I'd think you had a point.

The phrase 'trying to make eye contact' bothers me, perhaps the teen thought you were signalling for them to shut up and go away...

Ok so you're a definite Yabu then Cooger.

Ime, if a small group of people are standing talking and you come up to the group to interrupt, you need to say hello and sorry to interrupt to the people in the group
That's an etiquette I've never heard of. You didn't say hello, they didn't say hello back. I think you're quits.

Oh ffs, they're caught between an adult and child world. I distinctly remember that feeling of being in no man s land. Didn't know the interactional rules. They just need to learn them. It's only rude if they are intentionally doing which it doesn t sound like ybhya

Oh ffs? Obviously something you feel VERY strongly about!