Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about girls being asked to wear skirts

70 replies

EddieStobbart · 03/06/2015 00:30

Curious about this one as been discussing with a friend. Her DD is 11 and in her school choir. Performance coming up soon and request from teacher who runs it that girls wear skirts (and boys wear trousers) - teacher view is it looks neater.

No restriction with girls wearing trousers at school.

The DD wears trousers most of the time although friend says she does own a suitable skirt which she will be wearing on the day.

My view is the teacher seems to have have told the girls that wearing a skirt is more presentable than them dressing (like the boys) in trousers. I'm not comfortable with this - seems a bit "heals on the Cannes red carpet" to me. DF not bothered.

Genuinely want to know if AIBU.

OP posts:
lunalelle · 03/06/2015 00:39

I wouldn't be very pleased, either, and would probably take it up with the teacher concerned. As long as your daughter is dressed smartly, in a manner appropriate to the occasion, there is no reason why she should be compelled to wear a skirt.

mumeeee · 03/06/2015 00:41

This is normal for school concerts/performances. YABU and your friend is right not to be bothered about it.

SurlyCue · 03/06/2015 00:43

If skirts are smarter then the boys should be wearing them too.

SurlyCue · 03/06/2015 00:44

What they actually mean is "it looks more conventional"

SurlyCue · 03/06/2015 00:45

Sorry, neater, not smarter. My point is the same though.

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 03/06/2015 00:58

Boys' trousers do tend to look smarter though. This is only because there is such a wide variety of styles of girls' trousers. Presentable/conventional is a different argument

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd · 03/06/2015 01:46

YABU

Original poster
EddieStobbart · 03/06/2015 07:23

but why can't they be told to wear smart trousers? AFAIK the instruction is just to wear a skirt so the DD could turn up in the tiny Lycra tubes that appear to be a favourite of slightly older girls (no judgment on this, I just don't think it looks smarter than most styles of trouser).

OP posts:
GlitteringJasper · 03/06/2015 07:27

I think you know exactly the kind of skirt the teacher means!

BathshebaDarkstone · 03/06/2015 07:29

YANBU. Dress trousers are no less smart than a skirt. Confused

FinallyHere · 03/06/2015 07:30

Easy enough to specify smart trousers for boys and girls, if that is truly the issue. Anything else is just wrong.

What is your relationship with the teacher like? Could you challenge with a quiet word, perhaps a while after the performance, when s/he is less stressed? Give her a chance to reflect?

Could s/he be a volunteer for this activities, so an element of my way or the highway? And not having thought through what it really indicates. I know lots of people who unthinkingly would agree but could do with thinking it through.

If, that is, we are interested in more fairness in the world.

GlitteringJasper · 03/06/2015 07:31

Most likely the teacher isn't doing this to deliberately wind you up!

She's probably very experienced in school choir performances, will there be lots of choirs performing? She knows how it works, the norms, what is expected in terms of appearance and performance. Lots of school choirs have an accepted dress code for formal performances.

If it bothers you that much, take her out of the choir.

So YABU

BeaufortBelle · 03/06/2015 07:41

It is a reasonable expectation for a formal choir to have a formal mode of dress. To be a member of a choir is an honour.

My daughter is a singer and a member of three choirs. Her school choir had a robe, her church choir has a robe, her semi professional choir requires a black gown.

The school is taking the choir seriously and anyone associated with it should be proud. To sing with good voice requires exquisite deportment to get the best from the voice and with that goes an exquisite appearance. A music teacher needs to take all instruments including the voice seriously and clearly this one does.

manicinsomniac · 03/06/2015 07:47

Really don't think this is a big deal.

At our school the girls aren't allowed to wear trousers at all. It's only ever been a problem for one child in the 9 years I've been there and an exception was made.

Original poster
EddieStobbart · 03/06/2015 08:07

I don't there is would be an issue at all if all the kids were wearing robes, the homogeneity would be about as smart as it is possible to be.

I find the comment about "exquisite appearance" interesting - that's exactly my point. I'm about to go to work in trousers - is my appearance less professional or appropriate in some way than my skirt-wearing colleagues?

My comment about the type of skirt was in relation to the reference to the wide range of girls trousers and that being a potential reason for allowing girls to wear them.

OP posts:
fredfredgeorgejnr · 03/06/2015 08:10

BeauforBelle but it is not a reasonable expectation to require formal modes of dress to only include a skirt.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 03/06/2015 08:15

There is no reason why the girls can't look exquisite in trousers. It's just bowing to conventionality and sexism - formal clothing for women and girls is skirts/dresses and for boys and men is trousers. I'd be annoyed.

MeeWhoo · 03/06/2015 08:15

I would have thought the choir as a group would look neater with everyone wearing the same thing (i.e. Trousers), however I suspect the teacher means a girl in trousers is not neat enough...

aprilanne · 03/06/2015 08:20

i think the teacher is right .i hate seeing girls wear trousers to school .i think a skirt is so much nicer .maybe sexist but true

Highabove · 03/06/2015 08:23

Would it not look smarter if they're all wearing trousers?

GnomeDePlume · 03/06/2015 08:29

aprilanne but what is this niceness you find so appealing? What is the problem with girls wearing trousers?

GnomeDePlume · 03/06/2015 08:31

Would it not look smarter if they're all wearing trousers?

Yes it would. Also you would focus more on the voices of the choir and be less conscious of which were male and which female voices.

LurkingHusband · 03/06/2015 08:31

Is this a UKIP academy ?

Lottiedoubtie · 03/06/2015 08:32

The same thought struck me about the little girls in pretty dresses in the welsh choir on bgt at the weekend.

It is obviously a musical tradition. And whilst there are good reasons for getting choir members to dress formally/nicely- sense of occasion, deportment etc... The requiring of a skirt over formal trousers is clearly a part of the ingrained sexism in our culture.

Icimoi · 03/06/2015 08:35

To sing with good voice requires exquisite deportment to get the best from the voice and with that goes an exquisite appearance

I'm sorry, but this is absolute nonsense. The quality of the voice has nothing whatsoever to do with the clothes you wear, except inasmuch as uncomfortable clothes will affect it adversely.

Swipe left for the next trending thread