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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want to make the right decision

32 replies

Arawolf2015 · 02/06/2015 19:32

My sister's birthday party is in Vegas and I don't want to tell my husband that I'm going.i told him 2 months ago and he said "no" I really want to go . I don't go out often , actually never. I'm thinking to go and leave my children with my mother for the weekend. I will give him the option of picking them up at my Mom's when he wants to. I will leave on Friday and come back Sunday. This is a girls weekend get away because of her 40ths birthday. My sister is coming from another country. I just want to leave a note for him and leave. What should I do ?

OP posts:
CaptainAnkles · 02/06/2015 19:34

Does he always believe that he's in charge of what you do and where you go? Did you ask his permission to go? And who the hell does he think he is to tell you no?

wanttosqueezeyou · 02/06/2015 19:36

Why did he say "no"? What happened next?

freezation · 02/06/2015 19:36

Why did he say no? If it's for a good reason is financial then YABU. But if he just doesn't want you to go then YANBU. It sounds a bit odd that you're prepared to leave a note and go though. I'd be pretty pissed off if my husband did this.

YellowTulips · 02/06/2015 19:37

Your problem isn't about a party is it?

The problem is a relationship where you are seemingly not allowed to attend a key family event (did you get a reason why? Money? Childcare?) and your reaction is to sneak off like a thief in the night.

Is it reasonable to go? I don't know. What are the objections?

Sneaking off in the other hand is not a good idea.

I think you need to look at the underlying issues her ie the state of your relationship.

bakingtins · 02/06/2015 19:37

Why are you scared of telling him you are going? what is his objection? Money? Will the cost come out of family funds or your own money? It sounds like you are not even expecting him to look after his children (says a lot that he won't or can't do this!)

nikki1978 · 02/06/2015 19:37

Why did he say no? Can you not afford it?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/06/2015 19:37

Vegas isn't the problem unless you're missing out that you're really ill?

The problem is the relationship - and your controlling husband.

Justusemyname · 02/06/2015 19:38

You can not leave a note to say you've gone abroad for two days!!

sooperdooper · 02/06/2015 19:38

Why do you need his permission? Are you paying yourself, can you afford it? Are the kids his or not? Why wouldn't he look after them if they're his kids?

ollieplimsoles · 02/06/2015 19:39

"No"...WTF op?? Why would he just say no?

Is it money, or is he just a controlling douche?

ItsTricky · 02/06/2015 19:40

If money is no problem then he shouldn't say whether you go or not. It's one weekend.

Is he worried about you, op? My dh wouldn't stop me going but he'd be worried about me travelling such a long way alone.

Sconejamcream · 02/06/2015 19:40

You wouldn't even have 48 hours in Vegas so that's stupid. What a ware of money.

YellowTulips · 02/06/2015 19:40

We don't know if the husband is controlling.

The OP hasn't explained his objections. There are perfectly reasonable grounds to say I don't think you should go.

It's impossible to advise until we know this.

Sneaking off however is never reasonable.....except in extremis.

DisappointedOne · 02/06/2015 19:45

Friday to Sunday including travel? Not worth it. Go for a week.

pictish · 02/06/2015 19:45

Seems a long journey and a lot of money for two nights, but that's beside the point I suppose.

Why did he say no?

ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 02/06/2015 19:46

I'm guessing the OP is already in the US.

Original poster
Arawolf2015 · 02/06/2015 19:48

My sister will pay for me. He doesn't need to give me any money. I told him 2 months ago I told him about this party. I don't want to tell him because he could get very upset and destroyed my happiness of going. I could tell him but he will try to manipulate in a bad way. Lately he is accusing me of having other guys when isn't true. My family is with me. I just need to know if I tell him or not. Any of both answers , I want to go anyway. Hope you understand my point.

OP posts:
Sconejamcream · 02/06/2015 19:50

So flights arrive in Vegas at around 4pm, and to be home Sunday you will need to leave Saturday, around 4pm. Allowing for check in etc, you have less than 24 hours in Vegas.

This is a piss take.

ItsTricky · 02/06/2015 19:51

He doesn't trust you. Does he have any reason for that at all?

LazyLouLou · 02/06/2015 19:52

I can only echo what others have said, you have bigger problems than a weekend away.

Your husband has reduced you to acting like a sneaky teenager! You can't live like that!

Anewmeanewname · 02/06/2015 19:54

Re comments about flights etc, it isn't clear whether the OP is in the UK. She may live elsewhere in US or Canada?

wanttosqueezeyou · 02/06/2015 19:59

Does he have a reason for you to not go?

If I was going I would tell him.

Original poster
Arawolf2015 · 02/06/2015 19:59

I haven't being unfaithful to
Him. He had long time ago.

OP posts:
Rudawakening · 02/06/2015 20:04

Op are you in the US already or Canada? If not it's a hell of a journey for effectively one night.

On the other hand I'd go to teach the controlling idiot that a) it isn't his decision if you have childcare and no money worries b) he is being a dick.

What will happen if you go? When you get back will be make life miserable?

Sconejamcream · 02/06/2015 20:05

What country are you OP?

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