To continue to breastfeed although others think it's 'unfair' to my baby?

[PrawnToast12]

Background: 7 month old, combination fed from birth. Had a few problems with bottle rejection the past couple of months but persevered and all is well now.
Love breastfeeding but just cant do it exclusively. Partner may give her a couple of bottles in the evening, say 3 days a week to let me get on with jobs/take a bath/put 2 yr old to bed.

Now the next 3 months are choca bloc with events. Two weddings (child free) and the hen dos of very close friends (one hen do is in Spain for two nights) plus two 40th parties. Since having my first child, I have never been one to leave them to socialise but this time I have accepted the invitations. (close friends, and quite frankly I want to go!)

My nana and mum both say its selfish of me to breastfeed and not be with my baby all the time as I am taking away her main comfort. They also said I am leaving my partner to pick up the pieces (he has never complained, encourages me to go, and never had any problems when having her overnight previously - when I have been ill on occasion since she has
Been born).

After August, everything will settle down - no more weddings, hen dos or 40th parties (we have a small social circle).
But then I am told to give up the breastfeeding for preparation for her going to the childminder full time in October (going back to work). That it will be distressing for her if she is not weaned off the boob.

Am I selfish for continuing to breastfeed? To accept the invitations? To do both at the same time?

Prepared for the truth from you guys even if it hurts.

Have a fab time. Feed how you want. Ignore your mum and nan, they're talking arse.

Another one who went back to work at 5 months and bf for nearly 2 years! It will be fine. Good idea to take a pump on holiday, but you may not need to use it as much as you think. I never needed to pump that much at work - my supply seemed to adjust quite quickly. But I suppose that was a regular adjustment to the feeding routine, rather than a single longer break.
Good luck, and enjoy your different events!

Also agree with drinkscabinet - when back at work I was still able to bf as much as I wanted on the days I was with dd all day. Supply seemed very flexible at that stage.

Why would you want to stop doing something that is working for all of you on the say-so of two people who clearly do not have a clue? Just pump when you are away and it will be fine.

I went back to work full time when both DDs were 6 months - they never had formula, I expressed at work. Oh what a bad mother I am.

Absolute bollocks, Karoleann but I think you know that.

OP, I wouldn't do it (the going away, not the breastfeeding) but it's your baby. Not really anyone else's decision (unless they want to say no to babysitting which they are free to do).

little - but why wouldn't you go? A 7 mo old won't notice either way, they don't develop consciousness until much later and its just an absolute faff having to pump.

OP - basically it is you choice and you need to decide for you rather than anyone else.

Do what works for you and your immediate family..As you aren't asking them for anything it is not their choice

People seem to have weird ideas about breastfeeding. It's not crack. It's just milk. She won't be addicted to it. She won't mind that it's gone as long as she gets cuddles and some kind of food/milk and of course it's fine to continue when you get back.

It doesn't even make sense even if they do somehow think it's some kind of heroin-like addictive substance that she'll be really miserable without, how would that make it BETTER to wean her?

I went back to work at 10 months and still bf until ds was 2 and a half. He never had formula since he was a bottle and cup refused, he literally just held out until I got home and then fed like a trooper . Fed as normal on weekends too.

they don't develop consciousness until much later

Ehhh???? Karoleann, where on earth are you getting this stuff from?!

Yabu to leave your 7 month old to go to a hen do in Spain. If you were back at work and you had no choice fair enough.

I see your Nan has joined the thread OP :)

Older generation often have a hard time not begrudging the younger generation the amount of freedom they have and how mothers don't feel they have to be martyrs. Mind you my own mother (late 80s) would have had no problem heading off and my lovely mother in law (in her 70s) did leave her breast fed first born (my husband) to go off for a few days to a music festival.

I BFed my bottle refused until 20 months. I started a new job suddenly at 10 months and he happily abstained the day feeds those days, and carried on as normal when I was around. Thinking that like Ds1, he'd be down to 1 or 2 feeds a day at 12 months, I'd committed to a 4 day event that he couldn't accompany me on. He was still feeling regularly on non work days. The breast pump was essential for my comfort. He was perfectly happy with DH. When I returned, I got a dirty look, then he latched back on then business as usual.

Sounds like all will be fine for you and baby. YANBU

You know what OP? You really don't need all the anecdotal posts from the lovely MNers. I was tempted to post my experiences too of expressing and going back to work when DS was 4 months old (no paid mat leave) but then I thought no. Tell your DM and Nan that you are doing what works for you and your DH and DC. As much as they might like to make you feel like a child, you aren't. You're a parent. You're in charge. Remember that. Being old doesn't give anyone a free pass to lay down the law. Would a GP dole out 40 year old medical advice? No. Be firm, thank them for their concern but tell them you are following current medical advice, the same as they did.

Don't feel guilty for a second OP, I've never left dd1(3) or dd2(11mnths) for more than 4 hours (for a funeral) but you can bet your bottom dollar that if I didn't have "ishoos" then I'd be doing exactly the same as you!

If you want to, at 7 months (ime) your milk supply is fairly flexible. Dd2 can go 5or 6 hours apart some days between feeds and then the next day she can be on a few times in the same hour. My milk is always there and available.

Go, don't feel guilty for a second and have a bloody good time

Long - they don't, consciousness means an awareness of yourself as a being and small babies do not have that.

Karoleann, please provide a proper peer reviewed abstract to back up that statement.

Karoleann you're coming out with some absolute corkers

As did you Soontobesix

Some babies do mind very much if their usual caregiver goes away. Clearly this one doesn't, so it's a non issue. Nice proof that some people have absolutely bonkers ideas about babies, though.

Thanks for all your responses. Feeling much better, and I'm going to politely tell them their opinions are not necessary or welcome. (in the nicest possible way!)