To travel and do exciting things by myself if DH won't?

[JaneWasNotHerName]

I want to do exciting things such as go on weekend breaks to foreign cities and in the UK, go to the theatre and concerts, and just generally see the world and have fun.

We can afford to do these things a reasonable amount.

DH doesn't want to do any of these things and gets cross and put out when I suggest doing things with the DC without him. For example I'd love to go to Paris and he doesn't want to go, so I have suggested that I take the DCs on the eurostar and he stays home and he wasn't happy at all.

I'm starting to feel resentful that he doesn't want to ever do anything (although he'll happily head off to Ibiza for a stag weekend!!).

He has also decided that we won't be going on holiday this summer, even though we can afford it. I feel like just booking one and going but again he will be pissed off.

The question is, if you were told you were dying what would your regrets be?

I would tell him that you want him to come on the holiday but if he chooses to stay home then you will go with the children. You shouldn't be missing out because he chooses not to go.

He obviously chooses to go on other holidays, just not one with you and the children.

I do agree with MissJoMarch though, it is tiring being out of a routine and depending on how old the children are it could be quite lonely once they have gone to bed or just fantastic to be alone

I used to refer to holidays as business trips because I am a SAHM but DH would do stuff with the children by himself whilst I relaxed with a book. Bliss.

Could you find a holiday doing something that he really liked - or that's somewhere he's always wanted to go.. I'd be amazed if there wasn't somewhere in the world he wanted to see - Caribbean - northern lights - Grand Canyon - Rome - Paris, etc. Or if golf or sailing or football were his thing you could go somewhere oriented to that and let him do it while you went site seeing or to the beach with the dcs. If you had a fantastic time then he might be up for the place that you always wanted to go the year after...

Is there a reason for not going - fear of flying? Looking after the kids? Work pressure?

You can't live your life as a monk. Plan days with the kids. Maybe to an early castle or zoo first, and see how that goes.

Nearby, not early

How is he with the DC generally? Does he always tell you what you can and can't do? He's being very unfair.

What a miserable, selfish, mean, tight fisted git. I love city breaks, far flung jaunts etc. My dh doesn't unless it involves fishing. Therefore I go with my BFF who does have the same interests as me. And shock horror, my dh pays for me too, as I don't work. Our first dc is due in October so things may change for a while but certainly when dc is old enough I'll resume my holidays with BFF. If you have access to the finances required, book something lovely for you and your dcs and leave him to sulk. I can't imagine the fallout bring much more miserable than your current existence now so really, what have you got to lose?

Just go!
You won't regret it, and the children will love it.
Lots of people go away without their spouses. It's not that unusual. DH went backpacking round Australia without me when he was offered the opportunity; it just wasn't my thing.

You should definitely go without him. Give him the chance to come,but go without him. Only then will you know what the fallout (if any) will be. But you'll regret it if you don't.

Op please do all the things you want to do with your DC that your husband doesn't want to.

Don't leave it to late and be like my Mum there was so much she was desperate to do,she wanted to go traveling in the UK and abroad,she wanted to go on the Orient Express,she wanted to go to the Ritz for Afternoon Tea,Dinner dances,visit friends lots and lots of lovely things she wanted to experience.But my Dad didn't so she got to do none of it.

They could afford it and we were going to pay for the Orient Express and The Ritz as presents.He still said No.He didn't want to go and he wouldn't let her go without him.

My lovely Mum very sadly passed away just over a year ago and I know I'm always going to feel heartbroken that she didn't get to do all the things she dreamed off!

I've always said a life lived in fear isn't a life worth living.Please don't be like my Mum and give up on all your dreams because of the fear of upsetting your husband.

Go and make some amazing memories with your children,I promise they'll cherish them always.

do it, find a female friend with DC's who wants to do the same thing as you. It's his loss, he will miss out on many great memories.

My DH pulls a right face when I suggest Disneyland Paris, I stuggle to get him to go into the garden on occasion.

...but him pulling a face and causing difficulties illustrates to me that you have different ideas on family life. Is he a "manly man"? What was his childhood like? was he just put in front of a TV as a child? my DH is one of 4 and from what I can tell as a family they did bugger all and now I am struggling with the fall out. An active childhood is a good one, keep them active as a Teen and they will be less likely to smash the local bustop up etc

You need shared life goals, I really would recommend a Relate session to thrash out what you both want from family life.

He is being very unreasonable to prevent the rest of the family having fun. You can afford it so YANBU to go without him.
I would tell him that you would like him to come on holiday but that if he doesn't want to you are going anyway.
He cannot expect the rest of the family to sit watching cricket all summer.
Just pretend not to notice any sulking.
If his reaction is stronger than sulking and you feel intimidated I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship.

He is being utterly unreasonable. Why can he go off on jollies when it suits him but the family have to dance to his tune. It sounds controlling.

DH doesn't always want to do the trips and days out that I want to do but he has no problem with me and the DC going.

He should join in if he is happy to go away with his friends. Being a bit of a stick in the mud. Do Paris anywsy and see if it shakes him up a bit.