School friend's poor wedding excuse?

[krystellie]

Despite sending the 'Save the Date' letter out months ago, a (supposedly) good friend from school has just contacted me to say she can't come to our wedding the day before the RSVP deadline as she has just booked a holiday for 3 after our wedding and she hates her job (!)

Is it just me or is this a tad rude? Especially as I had offered to help her with accommodation and she was previously keen to attend?

Difficult to know what to respond with without sounding offended...

I might have missed this, but have you sent out actual invitations? I received a save the date card ages ago but was waiting for a proper invitation to reply to. Are they not a thing now?

She's NB at all U. She has declined in good time, it doesn't matter what her reason for declining is, she doesn't even have to provide a reason. You are being a little bit U for picking her reason/excuse apart.

I understand that it may be important to you that she attend - or else you wouldn't have invited her in the first place - but unfortunately she has decided not to come. There's nothing you can do about that and you've been a good friend to offer to help but if she doesn't want to come (for whatever reason) then she doesn't want to come. Best thing to do is accept the declination and enjoy your wedding day with the people who do want to be there.

OP you need to chill out about this. Yes a holiday is more important to her than your wedding. That's the situation.

Why did you send a "save the date"?

That would piss me off so much that I'd probably decline!

Maybe she is saving her money for her holiday attending weddings can be expensive an invite isnt a summons she declined you just didnt like her reason thats all.

Wow op!

It might be the most important thing to you at the moment, but guess what, it isn't to everyone else.

I'm failing to see how she was being rude.

Accepting your invite then not turning up would be rude.
Coming to your wedding and making loud obnoxious comments about everyone would be rude
Accepting your invite then slagging you off would be rude

Declining your invite is not rude, get over yourself and stop behaving like a bridezilla!

Maybe she just doesn't want to go to your wedding. As much as they are hugely important to the couple involved, sometimes they are really, really boring (and expensive to attend) for everyone else.

You need to chill and not get upset/worked up over declined invites.

Worrying about shit like that is what zaps the fun out of wedding planning and puts a downer on all of the build up.

Your wedding is really only that important to you and possibly your parents, to everyone else it's a nice day out or a financial burden they could do without.

Enjoy it with the people who do attend, and don't fret about the ones who don't.

I agree just calm down she cant go she isnt being rude she just doesnt want to go to your wedding its fine

Could she come as an evening guest?

At least she was honest. One of my oldest friends declined an invite to my wedding saying that she had to work, was devastated, had begged her manager but couldn't get out of it etc. I understood obviously and actually felt bad for her as she seemed really gutted. Thanks to the joy that is Facebook I later found out that she wasn't working, she was on holiday. I was fine with her declining the invitation but disappointed that she felt she had to lie. Reading between the lines your friend sounds like she is going through a bit of a tough time so maybe she felt it was best to be open with you and just decline rather than accept and end up letting you down.