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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring our almost 8 month old to A&E or not?

81 replies

JonathanCampell · 30/05/2015 21:12

Hello ladies

I'm posting for my wife. Tonight when we were getting out almost 8 month old baby changed on the floor of his nursery, our floors are carpeted and he was on his play mat, while sitting him up to get changed when he pushed himself back onto the floor (about 3 or 4 inches would be correct to him sitting up) and hit the back of his head, he'd done something similar with me when he was five months during the day but showed no signs and was alert. My wife dove in and grabbed him and he didn't cry but now she's panicking in case it has damaged him, though she put him down to sleep.

After a few minutes she l'd worked herself up and went to pick him up to check for signs but It's a tough situation because he's already tired since it was his bed time and he had his bath so when my wife picked him up it took him a few moments to come round, rubbing his eyes and eventually opening them and crying because she had woke him. He was trying to hide his face in her shirt and closing his eye to go back to sleep so when she bounced him up and down he cried for the simple fact (in my opinion) to go back to sleep so we agreed to leave him for an hour and check on him regularly and wake him up again in an hour's time.
Please ladies could you give us some advice/reassurance as this really is a tough one for her. It's our first child and much tried for child.

OP posts:
FFTransform · 30/05/2015 21:29

Hello,

Our now toddler has twice fallen from standing on the stokke chair on to the floor, once on the back of the head once on the front of the head/cheek. The first time we called the paramedics as she was unresponsive and floppy (very frightening) they said this is a normal reaction and she would pick up within a couple of hours (she did) and unless blood or vomiting was present there was it not usually a problem. In the city we live in approx 4 children a week go to e and r with head injury and only 1 a year has a life changing injury. Also the top,front and back of the head are very strong, the sides not so much. She and we got complacent - she fell off again with exactly the same experience - reduced response for a couple of hours - by the time the doctor came happily jumping up and down with dc1

If any doubt though go to the doctor, if only for your own peace of mind.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 30/05/2015 21:31

If you call nhs direct they will just tell you to go to hospital. Thats prety uch what they do for anything at all.

Birdsgottafly · 30/05/2015 21:31

Just to add, NHS won't judge you, it's rare for a child to get to three and there not to have been mishaps.

Not all parents admit to them at the time, but share them later as no big deal.

1Morewineplease · 30/05/2015 21:32

If YOU are worried then take him to A&E... Though just remember his skull is still fusing and so is therefore still a tad soft so there shouldn't be any fractures.. I think he's absolutely fine ( been there) but you and your DW need to feel that you have done all that you could..it's a tough one.

MonstrousRatbag · 30/05/2015 21:33

Don't think you need to go either, but do go if the alternative is sitting up all night in a frenzy of anxiety.

And please tell your partner not to feel bad. It happens a lot, and is no reflection on your parenting. One couple I know had one baby roll off the bed and fracture her skull. They were desperate about it. She was fine, and the doctors who saw them reassured them babies do this routinely and having it happen does not mean you are a bad parent. The baby it happened to is now a teenage genius with a perfectly normal-looking head.

Purplepoodle · 30/05/2015 21:33

He bumped the back of his head on carpet when he fell from a sitting position? He didn't cry because he was fine. He's going to be walking soon and have lots of falls and bumps.

If it will help her anxiety call nhs direct, they are there to help.

Maybe I'm a bit too relaxed as been through two cot head bangers

DisappointedOne · 30/05/2015 21:34

Butter? Why?

Has an enzyme in it that reduces swelling and prevents capillary breakage (which causes bruising).

AntiHop · 30/05/2015 21:35

Please reassure her that medical staff won't judge her. Babies bang their heads. Parents worry. This happens every day.

Original poster
JonathanCampell · 30/05/2015 21:37

Thank you for all the reassurance, ladies. She feels a bit better. For anyone who didn't read the original post our son was on the floor getting changed and while sitting up he pushed himself backwards around 3 or 4 inches, I would say. My wife picked him up but he didn't cry and he has no bump or marks at all.

I think the thing that worries her was our parenting class had told us to watch out for were drowsiness. And since it was his bedtime/he had a bath she was terrified of him being drowsy and the two of us not being able to recognise it.

OP posts:
Funkytown · 30/05/2015 21:37

don't worry my baby fell off the back of the sofa
i even done a there about it
he was fine i was a nervous wreck

DisappointedOne · 30/05/2015 21:38

DD fell off the bed at 4 months (2ft drop), climbed stairs at 7 months, was walking and climbing onto window ledges at 9 months and tried to get out of the bath by herself at 18 months. Only one of these things needed medical intervention (and it wasn't the early stuff!).

3gorgeousgirlies · 30/05/2015 21:38

Let him sleep. He's tired. It doesn't sound bad at all. Babies bounce pretty well

Loletta · 30/05/2015 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeahLeah · 30/05/2015 21:42

Bless him xx
It's not unreasonable to be worried about your baby, so no.

I wouldn't personally, but I have 6 children now. However, I would have ran my first son to A&E if he so much as sneezed so I understand xx

Ring 111, they will give advice.
Usually try every 20 minutes (for 1 hour after the bump) to rouse te baby, not wake him up just check he can be woken up x
I think he will be ok x

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/05/2015 21:43

If he didn't cry it's more than likely because it didn't hurt Wink.
At that age DD launched herself off our (quite high) changing table head first on to the floor, landing awkwardly on her neck/head. We rang 111 who ran through a huge checklist, said she sounded fine then told us to take her to a&e anyway. 3 hours in a&e and the dr looked at us in bemusement when we said no, she hasn't lost consciousness and no, she didn't appear to be in any pain.
Babies bounce.

IndecisionCentral · 30/05/2015 21:45

Bedtime is an impossible time to look for drowsiness! But in all honesty all a&e would do is have a quick visual check over, heart rate and breathing rate and tell you to watch for more drowsiness - again impossible at night, and vomiting.

It's incredibly unlikely that a fall backwards of 3-4" will have caused any problem at all.

As I said above though, and I say as someone who can overthink these things too, if the anxiety over a child is becoming intrusive, please look to getting some help with it. For example, it's normal to worry about dropping the baby when you are carrying them downstairs on occasion, but not every time and not to the extent that it makes you fear the descent or grip the banister with all your might IYSWIM. Anxiety can really creep up on you, hope it is just a one off and not impacting on your happiness as a new mum. Apologies if that's not relevant, don't mean to minimise your worries in any way.

KittyVonCatsworth · 30/05/2015 21:48

Kids are so bouncy. They have to be because we've all been where you guys have been! A bloody worry, but I'm sure all will be good and you'll be sharing your experiences with others in the years to come xx

UsernameAlreadyInUse · 30/05/2015 21:49

I know it's impossible not to worry, but in reality I'm sure he's fine. There were two lots of padding, right - a playmat on top of a carpet? I think that would cushion him pretty well. Babies do knock their heads in lots of ways when they become mobile and in my experience (2 DCs) they are very robust.

I remember when DC1 fell off the bed; I rang NHS direct in a panic, and then my husband to confess to my terrible sin - I thought he would be so angry with me and I wanted him to be because I felt like such a bad mother. He laughed and told me to calm down, there'd be lots more bumps to come.

Persistent vomiting is sign of head injury so keep an eye out for that but otherwise he sounds fine. I think the 'drowsiness' marker is more if it's difficult to rouse them from sleep but in your case he was probably tired because it was bedtime.

Woofsaidtheladybird · 30/05/2015 21:49

OP your baby sounds fine and please tell your wife this is NOT her fault. This kind of thing happens all the time.

As for the butter suggestion? Er, no...

TinyTearsFirstLove · 30/05/2015 21:52

We've been to out of hours/a and e numerous times with our little ones. Not once have they ever made us feel bad about bringing them to be seen.
It sounds fine, check nhs website for symptoms to look out for. That said, I was like your wife when ours were babies. To reassure her, speak to nhs direct and do out of hours if they suggest being seen. She probably won't be able to sleep tonight if she's worrying.

Original poster
JonathanCampell · 30/05/2015 21:54

I realise how ridiculous this all sounds, carpet, small floor ect and how wooden I sound. Very new to this and I've just discover the Smile's

Hopefully with time we will mellow out. With my wife her anxiety and over thinking can really get to her, we have ways of dealing with it but with how long we've wanted this little one it's like a whole new fear chapter has opened. She's over thought it to the extent of the A&E visit being logged to social services, though I'm not sure if that has any grounds.

OP posts:
IndecisionCentral · 30/05/2015 21:57

We'd all be in trouble if that were the case!

A&e would notify HV or GP as routine for any visit for a minor. SS only involved if evidence of non accidental injury, not a simple fall.

Please don't avoid HCP for fear of SS.

And please OP, do look into CBT for the way you're feeling if it's getting too much. Have a chat with your GP.

IndecisionCentral · 30/05/2015 21:57

Sorry,meant OPs wife.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/05/2015 21:59

The A&E visit will not be logged with social services. Social services do not have the time or resource to deal with every minor baby bump! Sometimes your HV will call to check everything is ok, but this is a reassurance call for you, not to check up on you.
The dr in a&e was absolutely lovely when we went, he told us to go home and have a very large glass of wine for the shock!

Preminstreltension · 30/05/2015 22:01

Not to alarm you but I think some types of a&he visit do result in a call from Ss. I had one after taking dd to a&e with a suspected broken nose. Social worker called me a week later to get background info. It was disconcerting but of course I'm glad they do it.

I think it's another thing to get used to as a parent -

  • non stop worry
  • bangs, falls, cuts, etc
  • trips to a&e at unsocial hours
  • the authorities checking up on you - happens at school too.

The only thing to do is to know that almost everyone experiences this and mostly it's fine.