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The Affair. Sky Atlantic.

34 replies

ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 12:43

Anyone watching this series?

There was another 'affair' based drama with Sheridan Smith in not so long ago.

Aibu to find these type of dramas hard to watch? Does anyone else find them unsettling?

dh is wonderful and I trust him totally. We have a solid relationship. But the couples in these dramas do too. I can imagine the devastation felt by the cheated on partner and although I don't think my dh would ever hurt me like that it scares me that there may be another woman out there who may turn his head one day. Or another man that may turn my head. Our relationship simply would not withstand any infidelity.

'Love Actually upsets me too, for the same reason. It's worse when children are involved.

Someone hand me a grip.

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AmyElliotDunne · 30/05/2015 13:00

It's never happened to me either, but I agree, being generally empathetic, it's hard watching stuff like this, especially having friends who have been through it.

Love Actually, the bit with the necklace when she takes herself upstairs to compose herself, straightens out the bed and then puts on a brave face for the kids. Killer.

Saying that, I'm looking for a new series to get into and Idid watch the first episode of this and then forgot about it so thanks for the reminder!

I have to watch a bit like I would a crime drama or horror, with the conviction that this will NEVER happen to me.

Original poster
ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 13:52

Yes I've never forgotten that scene in Love Actually. It's Heartbreaking.

My dh feels the same, always says it would kill him if I went with another man, so I think I have a keeper.. but these shows bring out the paranoia.. they usually depict a lovely wronged partner and no real reason for the infedelity.

Definitely keep going with it AmyElliottDunne. It's really gripping, and although the affair is at the heart of it, there's much more to the storyline.

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BolshierAyraStark · 30/05/2015 14:06

I always find these types of drama unsettling for the same reasons.

Gottagetmoving · 30/05/2015 14:18

Years ago I used to worry about stuff like this too but it just doesn't bother me now. Not sure why but I know I am more confident than I used to be and I know that whatever happened I would get through it. I have seen it happen to quite a few people but however bad it has been they have survived and managed to be happy again.
It's not worth worrying about anything that might happen because you are wasting today for something that may happen tomorrow or even never.

Loletta · 30/05/2015 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/05/2015 14:24

I don't have Sky so haven't seen this yet but can I ask you OP... why, if you feel so strongly/strangely/unsettled by this sort of thing that you'd watch a drama called "The Affair"? It must fascinate you more than you think or would like to admit to yourself because it must have been completely obvious what it was about, no?

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ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 14:40

LyingWitch. I like the actors in it and dh and I love a good drama so we gave the first episode a go and now we're hooked. Now the actual affair has started it's not so hard to watch, it's the moment they both realised they couldn't hold back that was the hardest part.

What is also annoying is affairs in fiction usually depict an older man and younger woman. It feels like middle aged women (heading that way my myself) are always the victims.

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scarlettsmummy2 · 30/05/2015 14:43

We are really enjoying it! really gripping.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 30/05/2015 14:45

I want to see it myself if it ever gets onto accessible TV. Fair enough, it just seems a bit like picking a scab though if it's something that's really going to worry/unnerve you. Gottagetmoving's post is really pertinent - and very true. We just can't worry about what might happen because that's wasting the time unnecessarily when it doesn't.

What did my gran say...? "Never trouble trouble". :)

Original poster
ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 15:21

I don't think it makes me worry more about dh or myself having an affair. It's just the devastation that it causes that is hard to watch. I guess it's testament to the acting, that they can bring out such strong feelings in their audience.

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Original poster
ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 15:25

The quality of the acting, I mean. Emma Thompson in Love Actually just nails how I would feel.

I will admit to being very soppy though. I avoid wildlife documentaries as can't bear to see a mother elephant pining for her baby.. even a nest raid on Spring watch has me welling up.

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aintgonnabenorematch · 30/05/2015 15:30

If you go on the relationship boards you'll see so many women who were absolutely sure they had 'a keeper' that would never do that.

I've known several friends be cheated on or be cheats. Most of them were the last people you'd ever expect to do it.

It happens all the time. You can't stop it from believing in your relationship though. Just be aware that we never know another person 100%. People are full of surprises.

TarkaTheOtter · 30/05/2015 15:34

I'm watching the Affair. Don't find it unsettling though. Dominic West's character showing lots of red flags from the start.

WonderingWillow · 30/05/2015 15:38

I couldn't watch it. I get to emotional with stuff like that! The deception is awful.

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ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 15:42

Yes we're only human after all.

Must say, the show has had some good side effects, it's quite erotic Wink (after you get over wanting to smash the lying barstewards face in)

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Tizwailor · 30/05/2015 16:00

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aintgonnabenorematch · 30/05/2015 16:10

I think that's the mark of excellent acting.

I am a huge fan of Tom Hardy. HUGE. I'd climb all over him like a randy monkey on a sexy tree.

But when I watched 'Locke'; even though the character thought he was trying to do the right thing - the way he talked to his wife and his pregnant one night stand I couldn't help but think 'what a fucking prick'.

Great acting makes you forget the actor and believe the character.

PrimalLass · 30/05/2015 16:16

I just don't like either of them so can't really be bothered with it. It is meant to get better though.

TidyDancer · 30/05/2015 17:04

This series is really good. I was surprised I got as into it as I did but I was hooked from the first episode.

Snowballschanceinhell · 30/05/2015 18:10

I found it very unsettling too, but I think that's a testament to the acting. For me, when the actually got down to the deed (having sex) it lost its appeal slightly. The sex seemed stilted and awkward and I wonder whether this is what happens when you do have an affair, that the build up and the longing and trying to resist one another is the real addiction, the real buzz, but once you actually have all the sex, it just doesn't seem worth it anymore.

ClawofBumhead · 30/05/2015 18:22

I get annoyed with the way modern drama seems to normalise things it shouldn't. Infidelity is one of those things.

However, I don't think they fail to adequately portray a "Reason for the infidelity".

They portray the only reason for infidelity that there ever is - weakness and dishonesty on the part of the person doing it.

Tizwailor · 30/05/2015 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ItsTricky · 30/05/2015 18:53

Yes I think the chase is probably more exciting than the catch in most cases. Although, undoubtedly people just do fall in love. Many 'affairs' do end up in LTR or marriage.

Yes the acting is suberb and the way it's shot is stunning. It reminds me of True Detective.

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DaysAreWhereWeLive · 30/05/2015 18:53

I enjoyed the first few episodes but I'm close to giving up now. The angst, the long faces, the fucking whining. Life's too short. If you're going to go to the bother of cheating, at least attempt to enjoy it!

aintgonnabenorematch · 30/05/2015 19:14

If you look at statistics; infidelity is far from 'not normal'.

So it's reflecting the experiences of many. It's just a TV programme but one that reflects real life for a lot of people.