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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not go on a date with an otherwise perfect sounding guy as his main hobby is mediation

47 replies

pettywitchinlondon · 30/05/2015 10:37

He beleives he can contact the spirit world and has apparently been training in it for 3 years.

I just think either a fraudster or foolish.

I'm being a bitch right?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 30/05/2015 10:38

No.

Eigg · 30/05/2015 10:39

Not a bitch at all. It's fine to not want to start a romantic relationship with someone whose world vision/ belief system doesn't align with your own.

MakeItACider · 30/05/2015 10:39

YANBU at all! It's a pretty big difference in beliefs.

KittyVonCatsworth · 30/05/2015 10:40

No. He's a loon. And one who takes advantage of vulnerable people. Can you imagine introducing him to family and friends? Unless you believe in this nonsense yourself, then I would say the differences would be too great.

IrenetheQuaint · 30/05/2015 10:40

I thought that was a typo for meditation and was going to say you sounded a bit unkind!

As it is though, no, you are very definitely not U!

HootsMon · 30/05/2015 10:41

Depends what you want out of the date. If you are looking for a long-term relationship and you think his main interest is a pile of shite then it might be a bit of a non-starter.

Could be a fun short-term relationship though.

pinkje · 30/05/2015 10:42

I'm guessing he'll know how you feel!

Original poster
pettywitchinlondon · 30/05/2015 10:42

Phew thanks, thought I might get biscuited on this. Seems like such a shame as everything else seemed good.

Yes can't even imagine how embarasing it would be if he started talking to family and friends about it. He's not actually doing it as a job ATM, he's a support worker for people with mental disabilities, but does sound like he wants to do the mediation as a job

OP posts:
Trills · 30/05/2015 10:42

Hahaha.

I would not date someone who believed they could "contact the spirit world" either.

HootsMon · 30/05/2015 10:42

I read mediation right - I just thought it meant he helps out with industrial or family disputes in his spare time! Smile

TTWK · 30/05/2015 10:45

He's either a crook or deluded. Neither of those are attractive qualities in a mate.

Avoid like the plague.

TheCatsMother99 · 30/05/2015 10:45

YANBU.

If his beliefs are that different from your own then it's likely to just cause issues further down the line & you'd probably not click anyway.

bumbleymummy · 30/05/2015 10:46

I don't think you're a bitch. It sounds like you'd have a major difference in opinions! :)

bumbleymummy · 30/05/2015 10:47

I was expecting his hobby to be trying to sort out feuds between people and I thought that might be quite a useful skill to have and may mean that you'd never argue :)

LazyLouLou · 30/05/2015 10:51

Mediation? I expected that to be a misper for meditation.

Maybe 'mediuming'... ?

No, YANBU. You would never be able to treat him with respect.

Leave him on the shelf for someone else to snap up!

Anniegetyourgun · 30/05/2015 11:02

How can you be a bitch for deciding not to go on a date? You don't owe anyone a date. Nor do you "owe" the universe to date someone it has sent your way (?!) who seems ideal except for one little foible that makes them ludicrous or dishonest in your eyes. You might open yourself up to the word "fussy", at worst, although I don't think you are.

SouthWestmom · 30/05/2015 11:12

Well if he tells people he's into mediation it won't be a problem will it? If he says mediumship that might raise eyebrows. Don't go, if you're not on board it'd be like someone being a heavy duty Catholic if you're an atheist

Fatmomma99 · 30/05/2015 11:18

I read and thought the same as Hoots and Bumble Smile

If you think he seems lovely in every other way, why not go on a date and see how it pans out. Your lack of belief is likely to be more of deal-breaker for him than you. Don't pretend to be anything you're not, and see how you get on. (and come back and let us nosey people know how it went, of course!)

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 30/05/2015 11:19

Ah, I read it as meditation at first! Mediating/ Medium-ing- I'd struggle to get past that really, though would be fascinated to meet a medium in person to find out if they were sincere and deluded/ a con artist/ just a bit odd/ magic!

VivienScott · 30/05/2015 11:24

I went out with a guy who was heavily into 'the spirit world'. He believed every time he saw a white feather it was a sign from 'his spirit guide' (nothing to do with living by the sea and surrounded by seagulls). He was in all other aspects very normal, very intelligent, but to be honest, his constant belief that his spirit guide was watching out for him (even when things went dramatically wrong) his refusal to accept he had the power to change his life because it was 'all down to the spirits' got really tiring and made him sound like a religious nut.

Yellowbird01 · 30/05/2015 11:26

I thought you mean mediation as in alternative dispute resolution (IMO fine...) but the spirit world stuff would be a no go for me

WorraLiberty · 30/05/2015 11:28

I read is as medication and that threw up all kinds of strange images in my hungover head Shock

YANBU. I would assume he's either deluded or planning to con people.

MamaLazarou · 30/05/2015 11:28

YANBU. It wouldn't put me off, though- he sounds like a laugh!

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 30/05/2015 11:29

No, just no.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 30/05/2015 11:30

Nutter. Avoid.

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