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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how can a grown-up be so mean to a child?

105 replies

pasturesgreen · 30/05/2015 08:01

My friend works in a museum bookshop and last night she was recounting the following episode.

A mother and her little girl, about 6-7 yo, walked through the shop the other day at the start of their museum visit. Child's eye was caught by a novelty pen in a display window. One of those inexpensive museum trinkets, shaped like a mummy, cost less than £10. Mum said child could have the pen at the end of the visit.

My friend heard this exchange and decided she 'wasn't going to let child have the pen'...I was like Hmm WTAF?! Surely you just do your job and get on with it...Anyway, she removed the pen from the cabinet (small shop, so that was the only pen on display) and when mother and daughter came back asking for the pen, she said they had run out. So far a bit meh but plausible. Then she went on to inform the poor girl that she actually had one last one behind the counter, but she couldn't let her have it as they have to keep on of each item for sale for inventory purposes. This is not in the least true, as friend readily admitted...Child was distraught as she had been really looking forward to her treat, the mum tried to argue for a bit than gave up.

My friend readily admitted she did this for no other purpose than to 'spite the little brat', that nowadays kids have too much stuff anyway, and that they have to learn to go without etc.

AIBU to think this is just a huge load of crap and it most definitely was not her place to teach the child any lessons at all?
Friend is usually the sort that professes to adoooooore children, cooes over newborns etc., so I was left doubly gobsmacked. I'm actually wondering whether it's worth remaining friends with someone who apparently has no ethical qualms about being needlessly so horrible to a child.
I really, really hope the mum takes to social media to report the episode!

Sorry for the long ramble, this has really rubbed me up the wrong way!

OP posts:
AyMamita · 30/05/2015 09:51

I would call them. This woman sounds unhinged.

ShadowFire · 30/05/2015 09:53

That's really mean.

It's not her place to decide whether a child "deserves" something from the shop. She has no knowledge of the child, the family or their circumstances. The child could hardly ever get treats like a small gift from a museum gift shop for all your friend knows.

And even if the child was a spoilt brat, she's employed to sell stuff in the gift shop. She's not paid to deliberately hide stock and needlessly upset children, and she's deliberately prevented a sale here.

I'd be reconsidering this friendship.

Aeroflotgirl · 30/05/2015 10:02

That says a lot about her as a person. That was an incredibly nasty cruel and spiteful thing to do to a child. She does not have a clue of the circumstances surrounding the visit, she lied, and prevented sales and was duplicitous. How often us she going to do that if she can get away with it. If you are certain she is not lying, I would report her.

RagstheInvincible · 30/05/2015 10:06

Ignore the child, given the state of funding of most museums and the importance of shop sales, she's probably committed a disciplinary offence. Her Museum Director is gonna love a member of the sales team who refuses to sell!

KittyVonCatsworth · 30/05/2015 10:08

I wouldn't contact her manager; she may put 2 and 2 together and boil your bunny / line all your towels up while you're out. Leave it, walk away from the nutter.

PuppyMonkey · 30/05/2015 10:15

Grin At lining the towels up.

Sounds unbelievably horrid. I mean unbelievably.

whois · 30/05/2015 10:19

It's such as strange thing to do, sounds like she's got serious 'ishooos'. I'm not sure I would want to be close with someone who acts unhinged like that than recounts with glee to you.

Handsoffmysweets · 30/05/2015 10:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

MidniteScribbler · 30/05/2015 10:25

I really hope the mother of that child is on mumsnet and reads this.

It's not her place to decide whether the child deserves something or not. Children don't have to earn a treat or only get things at Christmas/birthday. My favourite things growing up were the small things that mum or dad would give me 'because I saw it and thought of you and I love you'. They are the things I treasured.

mindthegap79 · 30/05/2015 10:26

Class A bitch. Ditch her!

blueskydrinking79 · 30/05/2015 10:30

I used to work with a person who bragged about hiding library books at university when other people needed them. Not that she needed them herself, just for fun.

She also met her now DH in a nightclub. He was going out with a girl she didn't like so deliberately went after him. She saw no issue telling us these stories over lunch. Didn't think it was a big deal Hmm.

People are strange.

drudgetrudy · 30/05/2015 10:30

I wouldn't report her as you have no proof. I would drop her though and tell her why-very spiteful.

Pipbin · 30/05/2015 10:36

the child must have done something to piss her off.

Seriously, Pipbin?

A small child whom she has never met before and that she didn't even talk to prior to the pen hiding? Even if she had, its not a shop assistant's job to punish a child AND her parent. Oh and bite the hand of her employer.

Did you miss the bit where I said I didn't agree with her behaviour?
She was very very wrong but the child must have wound her up in some way. I'm not saying she was right, or the way she behaved was acceptable but IN HER MIND it was.

mumeeee · 30/05/2015 10:41

You friend was out of order to do that to a child. When I took my DDs on a day out part of the fun of the trips was being allowed to have something from the gift shop. They weren't materialistic it was something to remember the outing by. I know at 5 DD3 would have been absolutely distraught if someone had treated like your friend treated that little girl.

Favouritethings · 30/05/2015 10:49

What a bizarre and horrible thing to do. I would not continue our friendship and I would tell her why.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 30/05/2015 10:54

I wouldn't report her, it's such a bizarre thing to do that they probably wouldn't believe you! I jus I wouldn't have anything more to do with her as she's obviously not a nice person.

Royalsighness · 30/05/2015 10:56

That's psycopath behaviour

YouTheCat · 30/05/2015 11:06

Children wind me up every day in my job but it'd never occur to me to behave like a complete cow towards them.

There can be no justification. Even if the child had had a foot stampy tantrum over wanting the pen before they went into the museum, it's the parent's job to deal with it.

AlternativeTentacles · 30/05/2015 11:11

Sociopath.

I'd reduce my contact to 'never again'.

And call the museum manager and if she was making it up - s/he has a liar rather than a sociopath in the workforce. Both good reasons for dismissal [lying about such stuff definitely bringing the workplace into disrepute].

chocolatelife · 30/05/2015 11:16

no dont call,
i dread to think what she would do to you OP if she sussed out it was you that dobbed her in.
do you have a bunny?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/05/2015 11:24

Ynbu.
That "little brat" is keeping her in her job.
Getting off on upsetting kids. In the nicest possible way, she needs looking at and the sooner the better

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/05/2015 11:26

About the ishooo whether or not to report her. If this were my shop, livelihood and someone was refusing to sell with out good cause then I would want to know.

helpmekeepstrong · 30/05/2015 11:32

they had just been on a visit to a museum and it's experiences that count, not material possessions oh dearie-me! What a vile cow! Just plain mean. Run away, run away!

WonderingWillow · 30/05/2015 11:39

I honestly don't think it would occur to most people to even do that.

It's still weird if she made it up.

SaucyJack · 30/05/2015 11:45

Weird!

How big is the museum? There's a distinct possibility that there'll be CCTV footage of her removing items from the shop floor and hiding them.
Just a thought. That's if it's true, and not some weird Patrick Bateman fantasy life she's created to make the working day a little more interesting.