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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how can a grown-up be so mean to a child?

105 replies

pasturesgreen · 30/05/2015 08:01

My friend works in a museum bookshop and last night she was recounting the following episode.

A mother and her little girl, about 6-7 yo, walked through the shop the other day at the start of their museum visit. Child's eye was caught by a novelty pen in a display window. One of those inexpensive museum trinkets, shaped like a mummy, cost less than £10. Mum said child could have the pen at the end of the visit.

My friend heard this exchange and decided she 'wasn't going to let child have the pen'...I was like Hmm WTAF?! Surely you just do your job and get on with it...Anyway, she removed the pen from the cabinet (small shop, so that was the only pen on display) and when mother and daughter came back asking for the pen, she said they had run out. So far a bit meh but plausible. Then she went on to inform the poor girl that she actually had one last one behind the counter, but she couldn't let her have it as they have to keep on of each item for sale for inventory purposes. This is not in the least true, as friend readily admitted...Child was distraught as she had been really looking forward to her treat, the mum tried to argue for a bit than gave up.

My friend readily admitted she did this for no other purpose than to 'spite the little brat', that nowadays kids have too much stuff anyway, and that they have to learn to go without etc.

AIBU to think this is just a huge load of crap and it most definitely was not her place to teach the child any lessons at all?
Friend is usually the sort that professes to adoooooore children, cooes over newborns etc., so I was left doubly gobsmacked. I'm actually wondering whether it's worth remaining friends with someone who apparently has no ethical qualms about being needlessly so horrible to a child.
I really, really hope the mum takes to social media to report the episode!

Sorry for the long ramble, this has really rubbed me up the wrong way!

OP posts:
brusselsproutwarning · 30/05/2015 08:15

Odd friend to have.

Icimoi · 30/05/2015 08:18

Trying to think about what might have motivated this: could it be that your friend doesn't enjoy her job anyway, and has become fed up with dealing with troops of noisy children in the shop, what with school visits and half term, and that has given her a jaundiced view of them? Rather than jettisoning the friend, your better course might be to to suggest to her that she jettisons the job.

chocolatelife · 30/05/2015 08:19

what a nasty piece of work.
I would drop her, or at least watch your back

Blarblarblar · 30/05/2015 08:21

Do you have children OP because of you do I would not let her anywhere near them. That's very spiteful and just very odd why does she wasn't power over a small child? Very worrying.

1Morewineplease · 30/05/2015 08:26

A bit unhinged if you ask me

TheCatsMother99 · 30/05/2015 08:28

Your friend sounds unhinged. That's just not normal behaviour, it's totally weird & cruel.

Wishful80smontage · 30/05/2015 08:32

That's so odd and nasty. How lokg have you known friend for OP? Have they ever acted completely out of character before?

Wishful80smontage · 30/05/2015 08:33

*How long

Feminine · 30/05/2015 08:36

So spiteful.

Your friend sounds very unwell.

Only1scoop · 30/05/2015 08:36

Odd behaviour ....although sounds tempting if the child had been an absolute brat and nightmare but your op doesn't say so.

Downright weird

Pagwatch · 30/05/2015 08:37

This woman is you friend?
You like her?

What did you say when she told you?

Why do you think the mum is going to take to social media? What with - a 'shop sold out' outrage. She doesn't know your chum was lying.

Purplepixiedust · 30/05/2015 08:37

You should report her. It is very odd and spiteful behaviour. Who the hell would do that? Keep your kids away. If fact probably stay away yourself.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 30/05/2015 08:38

That's calculating and disturbing behaviour, I wouldn't be friends with someone who thought like this then bragged about such a thing.

fairnotfit · 30/05/2015 08:38

Odd and twisted. Not just the fact that she did it - also the fact that she boasted about it. Her moral compass is badly skewed.

Original poster
pasturesgreen · 30/05/2015 08:40

Thanks everyone for taking time to reply!

This person is not a close friend of mine, we were at school together but now only meet up every 2-3 months at most, so I think I'll definitely reduce contact even more from now on. This incident has really pissed me off, especially is it comes from a person who had no previous form for being so horrible.

She didn't elaborate on the child's behaviour prior to the incident, so I can only suppose she wasn't being particularly grumpy or she'd definitely have said.

She just said that nowadays kids are spoilt (we didn't grow up in wartime, though, we're both in our early 30s, so you could probably say we're ourselves of a generation that was at least mildly indulged by our own parents, but that's a different story), and parents should know better than to pander to their every whim or kids will grow up being horrible entitled teenagers and adults.

We were out in a group, with parents among us (no children myself yet), but only one other friend and I questioned her behaviour, the others seemed to think it was hilarious, what she did. When I enquired how she thought the poor child would have felt, she replied the child had no business other than being thrilled, as they had just been on a visit to a museum and it's experiences that count, not material possessions that will be thrown away after a short while anyway Confused

I had thought of reporting it myself, but I don't know exactly when it happened, and as there's no paper trail, no receipt (obviously) and ultimately I wasn't there to witness it, I've ruled it out.

OP posts:
Athenaviolet · 30/05/2015 08:40

What a total bitch.

PunkrockerGirl · 30/05/2015 08:41

I'm sure her employers would be thrilled to learn that she's blocking perfectly legitimate sales.
She sounds unhinged.

chocolatelife · 30/05/2015 08:42

lets hope she exaggerated for effect

she bloody works in the shop and she is judgmental of those who buy the crap

wide berth

SylvaniansAtEase · 30/05/2015 08:45

Report it. You don't know how they'll take it - but to be honest, if she's that warped in what she thinks is acceptable behaviour, she's hardly likely to be the most hardworking/reasonable/useful member of staff anyway, and what you say may help swing it when/if they get other complaints about her. Worst thing they can di is ignore your report...

What a horrible person. I would drop like a stone.

chocolatelife · 30/05/2015 08:45

does she have children OP?

Felyne · 30/05/2015 08:47

I'd be tempted to phone to the museum's manager, just recounting what happened (date and time etc) saying I was the mother and I was enquiring as to whether they had since got any more of the pens in stock.

Charis1 · 30/05/2015 08:48

I'd still report it. What a horrible bully

Aeroflotgirl · 30/05/2015 08:50

She would not be my friend anymore, that is mean and nasty spiteful behaviour. I would report her to museum management, she also lost a sale.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/05/2015 08:54

that's really mean. whatever the child's behaviour its her job to sell stuff not decide who's worthy of it.

for all she know s grandma paid for that trip as they haven't been out in months due to redundancy or illness. They could have nothing at home and she just blocked the one day she could have had something

DinosaursRoar · 30/05/2015 08:54

Your friend is clearly is a class A bitch. If that's what she's just admitting to without thinking she's done anything wrong, she's not someone you should be inviting into your life. Cut contact.