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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why I bothered?

84 replies

TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 00:32

There's a fair backstory to this but the gist is that DP had a gambling addiction that came to the fore 5 years ago. We had nothing apart from shitloads of debt and a pregnancy on the way
way.

Since then I have worked so, so hard to get back on track and we have done it by hook or by Crook. Got well on the way to paying people back, got a niceish rented house in a niceish area and two beautiful daughters.

Now we have hit a problem that we have become £550 behind with the rent. Last month DP lost his job but didn't tell me. He was on a 0 hours contract and they decided they didn't have any work- after two years of working for them :(

The landlord has said he won't wait for the rent, and served us notice to vacate the property unless we pay by next week.

I have tried so bloody hard to build our life back up and it's all going to be for nothing over £500. It feels so worthless that I bothered trying. I can't sleep because I feel sick, I can't eat, I can't think apart from worry. We can't get help from anywhere, I have tried and tried, Dp has tried, we have nothing to sell, no car, no extra to cut back on.

I have tried payday loan companies, nobody will help, I just don't know what to do now :(

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 14:46

Thank you all again for replies, sorry I am still sounding so glum

OP posts:
DialsMavis · 30/05/2015 14:50

You have been given good advice here as you know know the landlord can't evict you yet.

What work has DP tried to find? Has he tried agencies & bar work etc?

Can he do something like that short term? How much do you pay for childcare? If his work situation is looking bad can you give notice to nursery or cm? Then next month that £ can go towards rent as can your returned deposit. He can be sahd and fit bar work in around your hours

silveroldie2 · 30/05/2015 14:51

What's your husband doing about this? He's the one who lost his job and didn't tell you, so he should be doing something to get you out of it. Is he even looking for work? He needs to start doing something now, even if it means mowing lawns, tidying gardens, washing cars, anything to bring in some cash. Call temping agencies, I did it all through uni and got heaps of work doing pretty menial work, but it paid reasonably, and if you're a hard worker you'll get heaps of work

I agree with MidniteScribbler's post above. Your husband should be out looking for work, no matter what it is.

I wish you well and hope you can find a way out of this situation.

purplecloud123 · 30/05/2015 14:51

A number of utility providers also have trust funds for their customers, including British Gas and EDF. Charisgrants.com is a good place to start.

DialsMavis · 30/05/2015 14:51

When something like this happens it can be impossible to see the wood for the trees and like you say it's ridiculous that you could lose your home over £500

LaurieFairyCake · 30/05/2015 14:55

He is entitled to JSA (contributions based) as he's been working for two years.

If he's lost his job you're likely entitled to housing benefit - apply immediately.

Or income support - apply immediately.

Your landlord can't evict you - your housing benefit will come in before then.

You must not leave the house as that's the part that makes you intentionally homeless.

Losing your job and not being able to pay rent doesn't make you intentionally homeless.

Moreisnnogedag · 30/05/2015 15:55

Honestly he's on a hiding to nothing. He can say he wants out next week but legally there is diddly squat he can do about it as it's barely in arrears. Can you ask payroll for an interim payment? Can you do bank shifts meanwhile?

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 16:06

No way I can do bank shifts unfortunately, my jobs in mental health so Is a little niche (vocational centre)

AFAIK payroll cannot access an interim payment. Tbh it's unusual for them to pay on Time and the correct amount!

It seems as though legally he has to wait 8 weeks, But that still ultimately leaves me without a home in 8 weeks, Whereas if I do (by some miracle) manage to raise this money then I can keep on building our life back up.

As an aside- anybody interested in buying a small baby girl? Eats quite a lot, tends to not sleep and seems to have more teething problems than cut teeth- but a bargain at £550? Wink

OP posts:
silveroldie2 · 30/05/2015 16:46

I bid 575 Smile. Can you tell us which part of the country you are in?

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 16:55

As long as it's not for local collection of the child because we would really be quite sad to let her go.... In the Midlands :) (lower Midlands... South of bham)

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 30/05/2015 17:15

Could you do bank shifts in a care home, not as a qualified nurse but just as a carer?

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 30/05/2015 17:16

Afternoon all,

Sorry to butt in, but when any threads like this are flagged up to us, we're obliged to post the following message:

Can we remind everyone that we do advise all our members that, although we're awed daily by the support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We can see the OP has been a MNer for years and have absolutely no reason to think this isn't genuine, by the way.

ImprobableGirl, we really hope things start looking up for you and your DP soon. Flowers

LumpySpacedPrincess · 30/05/2015 17:31

Have you got anything you could sell on Ebay? Not the baby!

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 17:32
Shock

I wasn't really selling her! Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 17:42

Thanks so much for all of you that have been offering advice of people to talk to and turn to, I am sorry if anybody has got the impression I was trying to fish for a handout?! I can assure you that I have been googling like a madman just trying to find out about all these wonderful things people have been directing me to. I have got a much more positive direction to take, even if it turns out I can't get the money in time then there has been so much support, which is all I was looking for :)

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 17:49

That was to the mnhq message lumpy , not yours, sorry.

Unfortunately there isn't anything I can think of selling (not even the baby, that really was just a joke!) dp has gone into the loft to see if there is anything we can potentially Facebook, there is a lot of old cardboard and not a lot else it seems

OP posts:
MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 30/05/2015 17:54

Hi again ImprobableGirl,

We didn't mean to offend you - that was just a standard message that we have to post when threads like this are brought to our attention.

We can see you're a genuine MNer going through a rough patch. And we didn't really think you were trying to sell your baby! Shock

Glad to see you're getting a lot of good advice and support on this thread - hopefully all the wise MNers will help you find the best way forward. Flowers

yoursfan · 30/05/2015 18:00

Why aren't you claiming housing benefit?

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 18:01

Because we haven't needed to

OP posts:
blue42 · 30/05/2015 19:00

Have you been "bad" tenants in any other way? I only ask because if not, a LL would need to be insane to even talk eviction to otherwise solid tenants. A couple of months void and a few repairs or updates are going to make your arrears look like peanuts, if he has to work a little harder to find a new tenant.

If I were him, and you were otherwise good tenants, I'd be looking to negotiate rather than threaten eviction.

megabelle · 30/05/2015 19:19

If you are in the b17 area or nearby there is a local charity that may be able to help, pm if you are and want more details

Sickofthesnow · 30/05/2015 19:25

I ended up homeless as I had baby on the way and had to buy things for new baby (single young mother) . I had two options on the money I was earning, 1) buy the baby essential items, 2) pay the rent. Unfortunately rent fell behind, I was evicted and the council took me on as homeless.
They did however say it had to be worded carefully on the application as by not paying my rent when I was earning I could be seen as intentionally homeless.

However, with your partner having no stable income due to 0 hour contract this will go in your favour. Are you not entitled to any housing benefit?

NittyDora · 30/05/2015 20:50

I've just come back to this thread and I see you work for the NHS. Are you in a union? Most offer free legal advice for all issues, including those outside work. I've used mine a lot for housing issues and they have been great. I'd also try your line manager and HR, some trusts have staff support schemes that you might be able to access.
I don't know anything about this but can you apply for a hardship payment as a benefit? Would the Job Centre be able to advise or your local
council housing officer. In fact can the housing officer act as a mediator between you and your landlord? Its a bit flippant but there was exactly this situation on Housing Enforcer this week and the housing officer got a really good outcome for the tenants. Good luck OP, I really hope something comes up for you.

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 31/05/2015 08:11

blue we've been fairly solid to be honest! There was some moments at the start of the tenancy where we were a bit late but this was about 4 years ago now,now. The only thing recently has been a slew of repairs etc.

We currently receive tax credits but due to us both working then we werent eligible for housing benefit. If it is anything like tax credits, it takes an eon to set up?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 31/05/2015 08:14

Not in b17 megabelle but thanks for the offer :)

OP posts: