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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to wonder why I bothered?

84 replies

TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 00:32

There's a fair backstory to this but the gist is that DP had a gambling addiction that came to the fore 5 years ago. We had nothing apart from shitloads of debt and a pregnancy on the way
way.

Since then I have worked so, so hard to get back on track and we have done it by hook or by Crook. Got well on the way to paying people back, got a niceish rented house in a niceish area and two beautiful daughters.

Now we have hit a problem that we have become £550 behind with the rent. Last month DP lost his job but didn't tell me. He was on a 0 hours contract and they decided they didn't have any work- after two years of working for them :(

The landlord has said he won't wait for the rent, and served us notice to vacate the property unless we pay by next week.

I have tried so bloody hard to build our life back up and it's all going to be for nothing over £500. It feels so worthless that I bothered trying. I can't sleep because I feel sick, I can't eat, I can't think apart from worry. We can't get help from anywhere, I have tried and tried, Dp has tried, we have nothing to sell, no car, no extra to cut back on.

I have tried payday loan companies, nobody will help, I just don't know what to do now :(

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 30/05/2015 10:07

PLEASE do EXACTLY whatever Shelter advises you to do - they absolutely know what they're talking about.

I very much hope you keep away from money lenders with big charges - that's a vicious cycle.

Worth contacting your landlord and explaining that you weren't aware, and are now and every spare penny will go to them to pay off arrears? I think evicting someone is a long and expensive business, and sure your landlord will avoid it if confident they'll get the money back.

Good luck.

iwishiwasasarah · 30/05/2015 10:24

If you haven't paid rent then you are considered intentionally homeless by the council. It is cruel and heartless - it doesn't matter how dreadful the situation that got you there. The council do not have enough social housing and they do everything they can to avoid their legal duty of housing a family. They have some very nasty tricks.

If your landlord wants to evict you then he can, but to do it legally it takes time. You need to be eight weeks behind in your rent and then the landlord needs to take it to court. You have to wait until the court date and a date for bailiffs to evict before you have to leave.

This will buy you a bit of time to try and find somewhere. From the sound of it, your landlord will be wanting rid of you anyway.

Sending hugs, it is tough, but hopefully you can find somewhere safe for you soon. Get all the advice you can, and hang on.

Vivacia · 30/05/2015 12:14

It sounds as though you should stall. First ask him for notice in writing. Then use this time to find somewhere else. I agree with iwish that it sounds as though the landlord no longer wants to rent to you, otherwise why go through the rigmarole?

Dp is as thrown as me

This doesn't sound good enough to me. For a start, he isn't as thrown as you, is he?

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 30/05/2015 12:18

From what I have read previously on here, it doesn't sound as if the landlord has issued the notice correctly. I don't think you will have to leave in a week but please take advice from Shelter, or another professional.

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 12:21

No, dp has been a complete twunt, that is universally acknowledged. Probably not enough to ltb for, but enough. Yes defibitely only £550, which is what makes everything so much more infuriating!

OP posts:
PomeralLights · 30/05/2015 12:48

Are you sure LL didn't already issue a notice that DP has been less than honest about?

Sorry to question him but if he's got form for lying about gambling and now about his job, it may be that this really is an urgent situation and your 8 weeks is nearly up.

LL throwing people out on a whim happens, but eviction is costly, it may be there's more backstory to this. Who pays the rent? You or DP (could he be more than £500 behind)? And who have you talked to - LL or DP?

I'm just thinking that you need to be 100% on your situation before asking organisations for advice. You poor thing, I have a friend who's DH had a gambling addiction only to give it up and replace it with...drugs. Once they are in the short-term way of thinking of 'tomorrow I'll find £50 and that will put LL/bills/etc off' addicts really struggle to step back and accept the enormity of the situation they are now in - like LL being sick of the unreliable payments and wanting them out.

Flowers
PomeralLights · 30/05/2015 12:48

Ah sorry x-post

SocksRock · 30/05/2015 12:51

You have to be 8 weeks in arrears on the day of the court hearing for a possession order to be granted. The LL may well want you out, but his court action won't succeed if you keep the arrears below this level.

Allwayslookingforanswers · 30/05/2015 12:58

Sorry I can't offer housing advice.

But to raise money Can you eBay stuff? Or use Facebook local buy and sell? Child and Baby stuff is often really easy to shift and maternity wear.

Feelingworriednow · 30/05/2015 13:02

Have a look at these guys charity.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/grants/. They are specifically for people who might become homeless and from what I remember give out small grants exactly like you need. One of their plus sides is the grants can be given out very quickly I believe. Radio 4 always have a Christmas appeal for them so they are legit.
You can't go to them direct but Citizens Advice can refer you to them.
Hope this helps.

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 13:11

We would struggle to find another property, saving deposits and things and then somewhere that would take us on knowing that we got sectioned out of this one.

I have honestly tried looking at everything to sell, we are on the bare bones. Kids clothes are already second hand and third/fourth hand once they were passed down from dd1 to dd2. We don't have Electricals or laptops or anything. I know it sounds as if I'm being defeatist when this just isn't me! I am usually so positive in going forward but I just feel slammed down whenever I just thought I was getting somewhere :(

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 13:19

Thanks for that link feelingworried but It says they don't accept applications from individuals so I think I would need to be part of an organisation?

OP posts:
ahfuckit · 30/05/2015 13:23

Is £550 one months rent? If so he can't evict you for non payment yet - unless you have habitually paid late or been consistently in arrears, and then I believe it is at the court's discretion.

NittyDora · 30/05/2015 13:45

OP - Feelingworried said you can be refered through the Citzens' Advice Bureau, can you make an appointment with them or maybe Shelter could refer you?
I hate to ask you this but is there any
chance that DP is still gambling? I
have lived with a gambler and your
post is full of red flags - suddenly
confessing now to losing a month
ago especially in connection with new money trouble, DP acting
innocent and bewildered (he's as
thrown as you), the landlord apparently moving so quickly to evict
you. I may be projecting my bitter
experience onto you but to me this
sounds like he's habitually been
fudging the rent payment as money
has been lost and won. I suspect this
month he's not won in time to pay the rent and the landlord has ran out of patience. I so hope this isn't the
case but if you even have an inkling
that this might be GamAnon are really good at offering help.and advice.

NittyDora · 30/05/2015 13:46

his job a month ago

GertyD · 30/05/2015 13:55

Going back to what you say about going to the council, you would only be found intentionally homeless if you deliberately did not pay your rent when you reasonably could have done so. If there was no money, and you hadn't blown what you had on non essentials, then you should be fine.

You and your DH need to claim JSA, housing and council tax benefit asap. I know there will be a delay in being paid, and it might not save your home but you need to do what you can to show the council that you are not intentionally not paying the rent.

Claim Discretionary Housing Payment to clear the arrears, you may be lucky. Same place you claim housing benefit.

Shelter are really excellent so try them again. They can also help you get a review of any negative decision the council makes in the event of a homeless application.

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 14:15

Thanks, I do have a job so unfortunately not eligible for jsa, I don't think there is a benevolent fund for us though (NHS)

It is worth trying to go through cab, I have tried a credit union but not sure if it's more about saving or loaning money, I am a bit confused with it tbh....

The landlord is firm that he will evict us should we not come up with thi this £550, and has said that if we did pay and further payments were on time then he would have no reason to evict. I think it is because it is a private rental, because that was all we could get to put us on track.

It seems the only way is to go back to ground Zero and work ourway back up again.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 14:21

Thanks nettydora. Lots to think about there... There has been times where we have only just got the rent together in time, but that was due to bills and payments coming out of our ears. Things would run smoothly going forward and have been previously. It does make me wish that family were around still, as it is that sort of boost that would help so much. I wouldn't even have a problem paying it back. But that's not going to happen :(

OP posts:
KateSpade · 30/05/2015 14:30

It's better than a payday loan or getting kicked out though surely? annie?

I understand it's robbing Peter to pay Paul, as I'm sure the OP does, but it's buys her some time whilst she fingers crossed comes up with a solution?

VanitasVanitatum · 30/05/2015 14:32

He can't evict without at least two months late rent and a court order, just hang on til you can catch up.

Feelingworriednow · 30/05/2015 14:35

Agreed but look at who can recommend you.
"We do not provide grants directly to individuals. We only accept applications from Support Workers employed by agencies such as local authority social services, housing associations, Citizens Advice Bureaux, and other statutory and voluntary organisations."
Ask Citizens Advice to recommend you. Maybe even Shelter will.

Feelingworriednow · 30/05/2015 14:38

Your Citizens Advice might not have mentioned the fund as they don't know about it. Give it a go. What have you to lose?

DialsMavis · 30/05/2015 14:41

How much is your rent per month? When was the last payment due and when is the next?

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat · 30/05/2015 14:44

ImprobableGirl am so sorry to hear your situation but please do take on board what everyone is saying about the fact that by law your landlord cannot evict you without first having given written notice, usually of at least 2 months, of his intention to regain possession, and that there are certain rules he has to follow to do this properly. Did Shelter not raise this with you when you told them he'd told you he wanted you out in a week if you hadn't come up with the rent by then? I am really surprised that they didn't, as it's so fundamental.

Here's some info on this from Shelter's own website which will be useful for you Eviction of Private Tenants

Good luck with coming up with the money; with all the hard work you've put into turning everything around you deserve a break Flowers

Original poster
TheImprobableGirl · 30/05/2015 14:45

Rent is 550 per month. The payment was due last week, the next payment is due on the 27th June

OP posts:
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