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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To never let my child have a sleepover again

64 replies

Favouritethings · 29/05/2015 08:01

It's just exhausting. My two ds's aged 5 and 8 had two friends over last night. They didn't fall asleep until gone midnight then were up at 5.30

OP posts:

AmIveryunreasonable · 29/05/2015 08:02

No I hate hate hate sleepovers !!! I think 5 and 8 is a bit young too - my son had one for his birthday (he was 9). In bed by 9.00pm - woke at 2.00 and then again at 6.00

ItsTricky · 29/05/2015 08:06

8 year olds aren't too bad but I think 5 year olds are a bit young.

Starlightbright1 · 29/05/2015 08:08

I have them occasionally. I think while fun you have to have a time limit of how long they can stay up then into mum mode and it is time for sleep. Otherwise you end up with a house full of very grumpy children.

LynetteScavo · 29/05/2015 08:19

Just me who tells 8 year olds they have to go to sleep?

But then I calm them down, do hot chocolates and a not at all scary bedtime story and turn the light off.

Pisses me off when DD has been allowed to stay up till 1 or 2am and I expect the parents have gone to bed, so basically she's unsupervised in a house she doesn't know well.

I don't always let her go in sleepovers much to her but she's now learning other peoples houses aren't always as fun as ours...and her friends can be quite grumpy and rude when tired.

AmIveryunreasonable · 29/05/2015 08:51

LyneteScavo - I too tell them off and I agree - my dd was sick for two days after a sleepover where she was allowed to stay up to 4.00am - my dd actually dislikes most sleepovers now anyway as she has discovered she likes her sleep !!!!

donemekmelarf · 29/05/2015 08:55

Sleepovers are the work of the devil.

If the children came for the sleepover and left the following morning, it wouldn't be so bad.
But some parents abuse the system and don't pick their children up till way after lunchtime. So you end up having to put up with them for a whole extra day.

formerbabe · 29/05/2015 08:58

Hate sleepovers! Hate, hate, hate them! Last thing I need is another child to look after.

ConfusedInBath · 29/05/2015 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hassled · 29/05/2015 09:01

Sleepovers are like childbirth though - after a while you forget the pain and consider going through it again. I did resist for years and years though after the memories of basically begging teenagers to go to sleep at something like 3am - this was DC1.

knittingdad · 29/05/2015 09:02

Sleepovers are great fun for the children involved and the quid pro quo is that they are invited back, giving you a free night without them.

So glad that my DD became best friends with someone whose parents I get on with and can trust. Her best friend has come with us on holiday a couple of times now too.

For sure there have had to be some stern words on more than one occasion, but it's definitely something where I can see that the effort made has been worth it.

Stanky · 29/05/2015 09:04

I used to go on sleep overs all the time. From the age of about 10, it was almost every weekend up until I was about 16. Sometimes in a tent in the garden. It was very fun, but what a nightmare for the parents! I feel so bad looking back. We must have eaten them out of house and home, and we basically took over the TV. Luckily, we've got away with not having sleep overs so far, but I'm sure that it will happen at some point.

MrsNextDoor · 29/05/2015 09:08

Ooh yanbu at all! I don't do them. We had the DC cousins over and that was enough. Playdates are bad enough...why would I want them all night!

I hate it. It's a silly thing to do with children who are still small.

reni1 · 29/05/2015 09:17

I quite like sleepovers. I will take 1h past 7yo's usual bedtime in good humor, but get grumpy around 90 minutes after bedtime, so they don't stay up until ridiculous o'clock. The threat this sleepover will be the last one otherwise always works.

Best thing is, you get a sleepover in return.

lljkk · 29/05/2015 09:17

Turn off the lights & tell them to be quiet. No screens after 9pm at that age.

Other MNers say I'm a killjoy for that (fine by me if so). I've no horror of sleepovers, at least.

lljkk · 29/05/2015 09:18

oh and make them brush their ruddy teeth. Every sleepover we host the guest child hasn't brought own toothbrush & obvious nobody thought to tell them to. Drives me nuts, am I really that zealous about teeth?

formerbabe · 29/05/2015 09:19

Best thing is, you get a sleepover in return

Nope...still not worth it!

Original poster

Favouritethings · 29/05/2015 09:19

It was ds8s friends who slept over but ds5 wanted to join in the fun so ended up sleeping in the same room. Ds8s friends are brothers and had both of mine to stay recently so felt the need to reciprocate!!

OP posts:

reni1 · 29/05/2015 09:22

I offer to sleep in the room with them if they are too rowdy, works a treat .

CrockedPot · 29/05/2015 09:23

The last one I let my ds go to they didn't go to bed at all...stayed up gaming all night. He is 10 and I was absolutely livid withbthevparents, who basically gave them enough fizzy drinks and chocolate to last a week and went to bed, leaving them to it. Ds fell asleep at 11 am and slept all Sunday. Never again!

ladygracie · 29/05/2015 09:25

We have a rule in our house that if you have had a sleepover you have to go to bed early for the next 1 nights to compensate for the lack of sleep. It seems to work well for us.

ladygracie · 29/05/2015 09:28

Next 2 nights not 1 night.

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 29/05/2015 09:28

I also fall into the grump camp, we moved a telly into his room so they could sleep on the floor and watch a film in bed. Film went on at 8 lights went off when film finished.

reallybadidea · 29/05/2015 09:33

We've just had a garden room (insulated wood cabin type thing with electricity, heating etc) built at the far end of the garden, primarily to accommodate sleepovers.

I made the final decision after ds3 had a friend over and they were awake until midnight. I was on call and had to go in to work at midnight, got home at 3am and the little buggers were awake again at 4am. I felt like death on a stick!

Now they can rampage in the garden room and I can slumber in peace

Whathaveilost · 29/05/2015 09:40

I miss the sleepovers!

When Ds got to about 11 he would often have 3 or 4 friends sleep over and I would let them camp in the living room.
It was always good fun next morning seeing loads of duvets creatively drapped every where and a load of sleepy bodies.

I like having a houseful of kids and these days it's full of ( older) teenagers who don't often kip over.

HeidiVodka · 29/05/2015 09:40

A friend of mine, when her kids were little and having friends over for a sleepover, used to put her clocks forward by a couple of hours. She used to settle them on the sofa with a DVD, hot chocolate and popcorn. When the DVD was finished it was '10:30pm' then it was teeth clean and bed by '11pm'. She and her OH perfected the act of theatrical yawning to great effect.

We tended to follow the our house our rules mantra and if it's bed time at 9pm then it's bed time and lights out by 10pm. I have found that you can't control when they will wake up though, summer sleepovers and light mornings could be a pain.
However now I have teenagers that has all changed...

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