Page 2 | To never let my child have a sleepover again

Favouritethings · 2015-05-29T07:01:12+00:00

It's just exhausting. My two ds's aged 5 and 8 had two friends over last night. They didn't fall asleep until gone midnight then were up at 5.30

Purplepixiedust · 29/05/2015 09:58

I keep putting off having sleepovers although my 8yo keeps bringing them up. He has been to one so far. He falls asleep later than his friends usually so it probably won't be so bad on that score. He is often awake at 10 in the holidays. I fret about other kids getting up and wandering while I am asleep. M doesn't really do that. He has never really gone downstairs while we are asleep. I guess if they are up late they are likely to sleep in. I probably wouldnt sleep much tho and I like my sleep!

Whathaveilost · 29/05/2015 10:47

I'm suprised at how many of you are against sleepovers!

I always did them at the holidays so tiredness wasn't going to be an important issue. I liked the having their friendsround and would let the have the middle room to watch DVDs or generally talk rubbish. I always had lots of treats and it was fun.

In a blink of an eye ( or so it seems) those days are gone and they are growing up.
I learned many years ago to roll with things because before you know it those days are gone.

GoodArvo · 29/05/2015 10:53

I think some of you are being a bit miserable. The kids love sleepovers and they aren't really that much trouble. The kids entertain themselves. I only do them in holidays or on weekends so it doesn't matter if they lose some sleep.

I make sure they're asleep before I want to go to sleep. I tell them I'll be sitting in the room until they're quiet and go to sleep. It works.

Vickisuli · 29/05/2015 14:22

I don't mind sleepovers, and once they have had their fun, if it gets too late I start making threats that the visiting child will have to go home if they don't settle down. They have siblings and its not fair to keep them awake with giggling etc. When you have a visiting child in the house you are in loco parentis so unless you wouldn't tell your own child off for messing about late at night, it's totally acceptable to tell someone else's child off too.

DD1 is about to be 9 and is having a garden tent sleepover. I don't expect them to go to sleep until late but I don't mind as they won't be disturbing the younger siblings.

Bunnyjo · 29/05/2015 14:38

I don't mind them.

DD (7yo) has had a few sleepovers and has also stopped at her friends' houses.

There's only been one time when they didn't fall asleep until 11pm and woke at 5am, but DH and I just took it in turns - I stopped up until they were long gone (1am) and he got up at 5am with them and they went for a walk in the woods nearby and he also made us all cooked breakfast for 8am

HemlockStarglimmer · 29/05/2015 15:09

YANBU in my opinion.

My child is vile when she hasn't had enough sleep. We've only recently had another child sleep over with us and I was mortified when she cried because my child was so vilely grumpy

I'm really not sure I'd be willing to put us all through that again.

However, when she's been at the other child's house, the other mother says she is a delight. Either she has some sort of temporary personality transplant or the other mother is a fantastic liar (and lovely).

duvet · 29/05/2015 16:12

I'm not a sleepover fan either. Said mine couldn't have them til they were 10! DD (12)has had 2 since. She asked for one this week but I compromised said she could have friends round for the day and that they could stay til 10ish. Sleepover with the sleep!

DD goes to a few and comes back miserable the next day but she's had a good time. Reminds me of hangovers!
The worst was when I had a call to pick her up first thing the next morning cos she was feeling sick, dizzy and had nearly passed out. After collecting her I discovered they'd been left to their own devices and stayed up most of the night watching telly & eating endless sweets! She wont be going there again. I know they're 12 but still I appreciate it when the parents lay down some limits.

Gumps · 29/05/2015 16:36

Oh god I'm reading this waiting for my DS2's friend to arrive. He is 6 and I also have DS1 (7) and my DD (3) and my DN (4). they are going to build den's to sleep in for the Save The Children sponsored event.
I thought it would be great fun but now reading your posts I'm a bit worried!

TessBrookes · 29/05/2015 16:43

YANBU. We don't do them. Never felt the need, they're not bothered, and I can't think of anything worse than having a houseful of other people's kids and all refusing to go to sleep!
Surefire way to get me wanting to rock in a corner somewhere with a Chardonnay drip!

Babyroobs · 29/05/2015 16:51

YANBU. My son had a friend sleepover last night, this friend was still crashing around and coming downstairs for glasses of milk / water etc at 1am. As everyone was so late settling, we all slept in this morning. At 9.30am he collected his bike let himself out ( he is 12) leaving the front door wide open behind him! Fortunately I was just getting up to make sure he was ok otherwise we woud have had an escaped dog crisis going on too. Fortunately my ds rarely asks for a sleepover. My dd goes to sleep at her friends on a weekly basis, her friends parents seem to relish having 4 or 5 10 year old girls sleeping over, sooner them than me.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 29/05/2015 17:00

OP- Midnight!! That's early 12 year old DS has 2 of his cronies over last night and they didn't go to sleep at all!! At 4am I went in to tell them to keep it down as his room is next to mine but they were having a fab time. At 6.30am, the door went and it was one of the dad's of the boys bringing breakfast McDonalds!!

I've been in bed all afternoon.

flora717 · 29/05/2015 17:05

For reasons of sanity. I have not read the thread.
1st sleepover held for DD1 tonight. Everything is ready. I just want to survive.

JustCallMeDory · 29/05/2015 17:15

oh god oh god oh god oh god - wish I hadn't read this! I've got 5 10 year old girls sleeping over tomorrow night.
Okay - positive thinking. Can I have your best sleepover survival tips please?

Charlotte3333 · 29/05/2015 17:20

We have DS1's friends over for sleepovers once or twice a month. I'm fairly laid-back as it's always on a weekend night, and an odd late night doesn't kill anyone as we're usually up til midnight anyway watching a film and having a takeaway.

The only time I've gone batshit was when one of his friends (there were 5 sleeping over, plus DS1 and DS1) sat telling ghost stories while the others tried to sleep, it went on for well over an hour with various children coming downstairs crying and panicking that they were going to be maimed in their sleep. I made him sleep by himself in the guest room and the next time he stayed he was an angel.

HoldYerWhist · 29/05/2015 17:27

reallybad can I just ask how old your dc are?

Dh and I are discussing one of these cabin things but my dc are too young to be left alone in them!

Floggingmolly · 29/05/2015 17:27

It depends on the children involved... On one of ds1's sleepovers when he was eight, a child who's actually a good friend of his but who had never slept over before, took such umbrage at being sent to bed at 11pm that he demanded to go home
His mum picked him up with an airy "oh, he often does that". Thanks for the warning...

rookiemere · 29/05/2015 17:47

I don't mind them with one child only, but they get exponentially much worse the more you have.
For DS's 9th birthday he had 3 in his small bedroom. They finally stopped making noise at 11.30, then started again at 3.30am, I think we'd been lulled into a false sense of security as we'd had single sleepovers before with nice quiet friends !

Topseyt · 29/05/2015 18:27

Why are they called sleepovers? They rarely have much to do with sleep, in my experience.

I wasn't keen on them, but gritted my teeth. My DD1 (now at uni) had a very close friend living next door to us and the pair of them regularly slept over with each other while they were growing up, so I have had my share. DD2 and DD3 have so far been less bothered, which lets me off the hook.

I did make sure they were upstairs and not roaming about late at night downstairs, but other than that my only rule (ish) was that so long as they were quiet it was OK.

shebird · 29/05/2015 18:48

I am not keen on sleepovers either here or at other peoples houses, mostly based on past experience. DD (10) went to a sleepover birthday party last year where despite the fact I thought I knew the parents, there was little supervision. They were allowed unlimited internet access and could do as they pleased. It emerged though another parent after they'd gossiped at school, that they spent the evening watching inappropriate things on YouTube . Apparently the mum had friends over for a few drinks and left them to it. I'm not a total killjoy and realise that kids will just get up to mischief no matter what, but this episode has made me realise the enormous trust involved in allowing young DCs stay in other peoples homes.
I will only allow my DDs to sleepover where I know the family really well. I also only invite DCs that I know well.

TheRainInTheWoods · 29/05/2015 19:30

My top tip for sleepovers for younger DCs is to sneak in and change the time on the clock in their room when they're brushing their teeth or something. Move it an hour or two forward. Then, when they go to bed, they think it's really really really late. And they're being really cool and exciting.

Then when you go in because they're still yabbering at each other you can say to them "LOOK! It's 10pm already! Goodness me, you'll all be far too tired to have pancakes for breakfast tomorrow morning/play football/go swimming...".

My BF slipped me this one and it's been a winner so far.

Change it back when they're both asleep though!

Original poster

Favouritethings · 30/05/2015 11:45

Love the clock changing idea!!

OP posts:

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 30/05/2015 12:29

We do tons of sleepovers. One friend at a time, sometimes each DD has a friend each (and sometimes the friends are sisters themselves which works well). Multiple sleepovers are only for birthdays and then they are called slumber parties In fact we had one for dd2 last night for her 9th birthday - 4 girls in total. Biggest one I have ever done was for DD1 last year which was 12 girls (yes twelve). It was fun. Most of my friends think I need my head examined but DD1 said it was the "best birthday EVER Mum" which made it all worthwhile.

Everythingwillbeok · 30/05/2015 13:00

I hate them....I really truly don't see the point, have pizza together watch a film ect. THEN GO HOME so everyone can sleep well in their own beds.

The last time my DD slept out was at a neighbours, all the kids off the street were staying, I felt so mean saying no I caved....only for DD to appear in her PJs about 8 the following morning, pale and looking ill.

Apparently every time she dropped off to sleep the other girls poked and tickled her as they had a challenge to stay up all night as they thought this was cool.

I was so angry told the girls mum and she lied saying she had checked the a few times in the night and were all fast asleep.

Never again.

Christophewouldgetit · 30/05/2015 13:29

YABU - I have such happy memories from my parents letting me have friends for sleepovers growing up.. my first would've been about 9 and there was me and 5 friends..

We didn't sleep, we're noisy and even broke the radiator in my room (with all 6 of us stood on it to see if it could take it)..

I always thought of my parents as uptight but now I am a parent, I can see they were strict but amazing

I can't wait for my two to have them as the disruption is only for one night (and recovery time obviously)...

Pinot4me · 30/05/2015 14:14

When my daughter was about 12 she had her friend sleep over after a party. This young girl literally pigged out at the party and then continued to do so at our house (her mum had sent loads of sweets for the sleepover that I didn't know about) and I had provided popcorn and stuff too. They didn't go to sleep until about 1am and by 3.30am I was cleaning up vomit from all over my daughters bedroom. This girl didn't even try to make the bathroom just sat up in bed and puked everywhere again and again. God, it was awful. I've never forgotten it and it makes me feel sick, all these years later, just to type it..