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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you go through severe morning sickness for a third child? If..

74 replies

GlitteringJasper · 28/05/2015 21:45

I know I'm v likely to have it as it's got progressively eworse during the last two pregnancies.

I honestly thought I was going to die during my last pregnqncy, I couldn't stand up, felt faint and nauseous all the time, work up in the night time to be sick etc etc

I have one boy and one girl so some people would be a bit Hmm as to why I'm putting myself through pregnancy again!

I'm 36 so I need to decide quickly! I keep dithering about this question! MN is the only place I can talk about it as there's no one in RL I can talk to without seeming silly.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 28/05/2015 21:59

I really wouldn't, I think it's amazing when women who have HG have another child especially if you don't have family support to help.

SheThinksShesPeople · 28/05/2015 22:00

I'm currently pregnant with dc2. I will NEVER do it again. My poor little boy has been stuck in front of cbeebies all week because if I move I vomit. My poor husband is running himself ragged looking after me, ds, the house and working 60 hours a week.

I guess it totally depends on your support network but I could never put my family through this again.

scrivette · 28/05/2015 22:03

I have said never again after hyperemis with DC2. It was worse in my second pregnancy and I would be concerned it would be with worse with a third.
However, I did say never again after morning sickness with my first!
I think it would depend on whether I was desperate for a third or not and the age gaps between them.

madamginger · 28/05/2015 22:05

I did, it got slightly easier in that I had stopped being sick by 17 weeks But I was very ill till then, even getting up in the night to be sick Sad
I was like you and has 1 of each already and they were only 1 and 3 at the time, it was very tough and ds2 is quite hard work, they are 8, 6 and 4 now and I love it most of the time

RumAppleGinger · 28/05/2015 22:10

It wasn't the deciding factor but it did play a big part in our decision to stop at two.

For me I had HM with first pregnancy. Everyone lies tells you no two pregnancies are the same so I was hopefully that I wouldn't have such a tough time when DS2 came along. It was worse, much worse and made so much harder by the fact I had a 3 year old to entertain.

However a third would also mean a far bit of belt tightening for us, would leave us with little disposable income and mean finding the cash for a bigger car and possibly a house move. Added to that the likelihood of 9 months of horrendous pain and unhappiness and for me personally it just doesn't add up. I'm happy with my lot.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 28/05/2015 22:12

I am doing. But tbh this one wasn't planned, and my youngest is 8 so I've forgotten how ill I was!

insanityscatching · 28/05/2015 22:13

I did and had not one day's sickness with number 3 so I had number 4 and had hyperemesis (not my brightest decision tbh) Eight years later I accidentally had number five and had awful morning sickness on a par with numbers 1 and 2.

DramaAlpaca · 28/05/2015 22:13

I would, and did. I really wanted a third child. I knew I was likely to feel awful because I did in my first two pregnancies, but the third one was much worse. The nausea & vomiting started before I even knew I was pregnant and went on all day & every day until past 20 weeks. I got through it by reminding myself every day that I would never, ever be doing this again. I have no idea how I coped, but somehow I did & DS3 was well worth it.

MayPolist · 28/05/2015 22:15

I had severe HG (repeated hospital admisssions, drip) with 4 preganancies but I have a very good support network.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 28/05/2015 22:17

I would not go through it again.

2 pregnancy identical and I could not cope with vomiting and feeling sick all the timeb

fiveacres · 28/05/2015 22:19

It's horrendous isn't it?

I am going through it, but not by choice. But then I never wanted Dc3.

Liveinthepresent · 28/05/2015 22:19

I can't even begin to imagine how hard this type of sickness must be but I just wanted to chip in to say 36 doesn't mean you have to decide now. You could get the baby toddler bit out the way and then reassess?
It must be such a hard decision to make right now.

originalusernamefail · 28/05/2015 22:20

Currently pg with DC2 and my second HG pregnancy. If all goes well for me there will be NO MORE Grin. This pg is x100 harder and I feel guilty for all the things I can't do with DS.

SuffolkNWhat · 28/05/2015 22:22

Absolutely not. HG made me near suicidal in both my pregnancies and I couldn't do it again just in case I gave into those feelings.

whois · 28/05/2015 22:33

No. Why do you actually want a third child? I think it would be selfish to put a strain on your family by being so sick for so long when you already have 2 healthy children.

Meerka · 28/05/2015 22:37

2 HG pregnancies, second one with extra complications.

Our older son - well, there have been effects on him from the HG and seeing Mum so ill and hospitalized for 4 weeks in total. He's been insecure, unsettled and acting out quite a bit (the preg was definitely not the only cause but has been clinically assessed as having a serious effect on him).

I would not dare to put him or myself through that again.

I was sterilized about 6 weeks ago. Until then there was very little intimacy with my husband because I couldn't take the risk again.

IF you go for a 3rd, put some very rock solid child care plans in place first. Even then .... there can be effects on your existing children. It's true that pregnancies vary. But you'd have to plan for the worst so that if it happened, things wouldn't fall apart.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain · 28/05/2015 22:37

I did ! But I wasn't working when I had number 3 so was able to sit and rest more ( and use CBeebies)

UmiSays · 28/05/2015 22:40

I had bad morning sickness until week 18 with DC1. It took me nearly four years to decide to do it again. Got HG with 2nd pregnancy. I have never in all my life felt so ill and depressed. I was unbearably sick for 24 weeks - hospitalisation, drip, pretty much bed-bound, lost 20 lbs in first trimester etc etc. My DH became a carer. My DC1 barrel saw his mother.

Hell would freeze over before I would ever do that to myself (or my family) again. Honest answer.

UmiSays · 28/05/2015 22:40

*barely saw

BlueBananas · 28/05/2015 22:44

I am doing, I have a boy and a girl and had horrendous sickness with them so had every reason to stop
But I just couldn't shake this feeling that I wanted more
So I'm 17 weeks pregnant, but we did wait until the older 2 were in school (they're 4 & 5) so it's been much easier on me, don't know if I could've coped with 2 babies - although incidentally the sickness hasn't been too bad atall this time
If you really want more children then you need to look at the bigger picture, it's a few months of sickness and cbeebies but you'll get a whole lifetime of love and happiness from another child
If you want another do it, don't regret it in 20 years

Ludways · 28/05/2015 22:48

I wasn't prepared to go through another enjoyable pregnancy for a third child, so it's a no from me.

However, if you really want a third don't let it stop you but be prepared to regret it for a few months, lol

BitOfFun · 28/05/2015 23:32

I don't think you would regret it in twenty years if you didn't go ahead. From my own experience, you get pangs for a while, but as your children get older, you start to relish the stage that they are at, and don't feel inclined to go back to the beginning.

YesThisIsMe · 28/05/2015 23:35

How would your DP cope practically if you were hospitalised?

Purplepoodle · 28/05/2015 23:35

With a baby so young I think you would miss out on all the best bits of your dd first year with horrendous sickness. 3 is tough and abig strain on a marriage never mind HG added in.

GooodMythicalMorning · 28/05/2015 23:36

No I wouldn't. I have one of each and dh had the snip as I had hg in both pregnancies requiring hospital stays so we decided two was enough. So hopefully I cant!