to be glad I can't remember being breastfed?

[retrocutie]

I just read this article in the, erm, Daily Mail. In it, a woman who is breastfeeding her 5 year-old and 2 year-old talks of her wish to still be breastfeeding when her kids are 10 years old. This makes me feel a bit uneasy. A child of 10 will remember being breastfed and I just think it is a bit yucky. Sorry. I am glad I wasn't still breastfed at that age. Some children are going through puberty at 10… I dunno, it just seems a bit, well, wrong somehow. At some point it becomes inappropriate, surely?

Not only that, but as is often the case in these families, the poor husband has been banished to the spare room so that the mother can co-sleep with the DC. Just seems a bit unfair. I feel more than a bit sorry for him.

AIBU?

I am not surprised the Daily Mail would entirely make stuff up, but I think it's quite telling they chose to make up something like "...and she wants to keep on breastfeeding until the children are ten years old", because they knew people would believe it. Because once you're breastfeeding past infancy, obviously you're some weird hippy forcing it on your children and alienating your husband - we all know what Those People are like, right?

God, some people are so stupid.

I think with dummies you have to weigh up the benefits of comfort against the risks of oral cavity deformities needing braces in later life. And I would leave it up to the parent to judge best...

But also I'd like you to show me an example of a 4 year old walking around with a breast permanently in their mouths. To make it a fair comparison

There is also some vidence that shows that natural term breastfed and bedsharibg children are much less likely to need transitional objects, comforters etc or suck their thumb and use dummies. Because I think if a child has a need for comfort they find it somewhere

The one thing that I have learnt from MN is near ever comment on how long people breast feed!

Yes, if I saw an older child walking around with a dummy I would think about what it was doing to their teeth, rather than just "they're too old!".

I just think you are assigning a "for little babies only" value to breastfeeding, when it's actually perfectly appropriate for older children too - as a PP said, like things like bedtime stories or other things that are comforting/nice for a wider age range of very small children.

I'm not saying a transitional object is bad though? Just that young children have a need for comfort and some use occasional breastfeeding where others would use an old muslin or teddy. And some have both, and that's fine too.

Ie normal and not hindering development

Development or progress are fine, I just don't think it's developmentally inappropriate for a 3 year old to be still breastfeeding. It's normal.

DS2 both still breastfeeds and has a mangy old cuddly rabbit that also gives him great comfort, it's not either/or.

Pomeral it seems now it may all be bollocks. But had it been accurate it would not just have been 'submitting to your choice' about breastfeeding. It would have been about submitting to a choice to exclude him from most parts of family life .

But, hey, he's a man. As long as he keeps bringing home the bacon he has no right to feel wanted, cared about, loved or have companionship does he?

I was bottlefed until I was 4- I clearly remember it, I don't see what the issue is.

Both my children remember being breastfed ( both fed until starting school)
My 17 yo son remembers clearly being breastfed- has no embarrassment about it, it's just a non- issue. Incidentally he has no embarrassment about breastfeeding women either- I have seen him happily chat with my friends who are breastfeeding.

My 15 yo DD remembers it too and its lovely to hear her articulate her feelings about breastfeeding. She says that breastmilk tasted like "pure mother love".

It makes sense that the portrayal of the man was made-up, it was so stereotypical daily mail it was laughable.

Aermingers, it seems you're not interpreting my posts in the way they were meant, so I see no point in continuing. I do not consider myself a bully and would never advocate that as a relationship tactic!!

I read the story at face value. The idea of bf'ing a child about to hit puberty I find very uncomfortable. Particularly a boy, I guess. For those of you who are cool with it, that's fine for you, but what about the child?

And as for the bloke… I guess it resonated with me as I have had friends over the years who have used attachment parenting (or continuum as it used to be known). The idea that men have no role in childrearing beyond bringing home money is very sad.

The idea that men have no part in childr eating apart from bringing home money certainly wasn't one that shared by anyone in the attachment parenting group I used to go to, which had more stay at home dads than any of the other baby or toddler groups I went to.

So 'coming to an agreement' over a fundamental parenting issue involves coming around to a certain viewpoint (yours) and the alternative is to leave. And you don't see that as bullying? You might not see yourself as a bully for holding those views, but I think many people would beg to differ.

There are regularly threads on here where men are rarely home in the evening and they normally get a pasting. Yet if a woman almost completely withdraws from her partner and withdraws the children from it as well then it's okay and he should put up and shut up? Fuck that. If I never saw my partner after 7:30 in the evening he'd be straight out of the door.

(And lady from the article I am aware now this is not your situation, I'm talking theoretically).

OP yanbu to be glad that you can't remember being breastfed if you really can't bring yourself to imagine what a pleasant memory that might have been.
Yabu to think that those who do remember being breastfed are upset by this. My dd was very keen on breastmilk - direct from the source - and only stopped completely when she had just turned 7 - admittedly she was only having brief and occasional feeds at that point and there was very little milk. We had discussed stopping before this but she said it 'made her too sad'. Now that I'm feeding her baby brother she has expressed only positive memories.
As for the pp who said it was disgusting to feed beyond a toddler - really? I find dog poo, vomit on the pavement and eating live monkey brains disgusting but there is no way I regard the natural act of feeding my child anything other than lovely.

Continuum concept. Interesting book.

I breastfed ds till he was 4 and dd to 3. Ds is now 19 and dd 11. Neither remember breastfeeding. It's no big deal. Dh and I are happily married still. Some very strange made up notions on this thread by people who have no experience of natural term breastfeeding apart from what they've read in the daily mail.

I never said that! I said in order to parent successfully you need to agree and that sometimes people don't. The only way around that is communication. The only alternative I can see is leaving and applying for joint custody to ensure time with the children. Is there some other choice I'm not aware of? Or should all parenting decisions always be put to the mumsnet jury, negating the necessity of actually talking to the person you chose to make a person with? :)

In your hypothetical scenario the man isn't 'allowed' to read his kids a bedtime story. As I said before, WTF. The wife being in the room doesn't rob him of his ability to read to his children. If your hypothetical husband feels the presence of his wife means he can't read a bedtime story, I would suggest that he checked out of the marriage a long time ago.

I'm genuinely amazed that you interpret 'coming to an agreement' as 'agreeing with me'. Not what I meant at all. But hey, I'm a breastfeeding co-sleeper so clearly my husband has been forced to bend to my will and makes no parenting choices

I accepted this thread as a baitfest a while ago hence my replying when I said I wouldn't!