DH 'claimed' a room as his office and filled it with utter shit. AIBU to blitz it?

[Flingmoo]

We moved into a new house a year ago and we allocated one bedroom as our master bedroom, one as our baby's room, one as a guest room and the fourth one was going to be 'an office'. However, 'an office' became 'his office' as he literally stuck a sign with his name on the door.

From day 1 it's been full of boxes of his crap which I eventually persuaded him to unpack onto two IKEA Billy bookcases. Now 1 year down the line it is what I would refer to as a shithole. Think teenage boys bedroom mess multiplied by 10. Bearing in mind this is/was a lovely new build house.

The bookcases, are overflowing with junk.
The desk is piled with papers and dirty plates and cups.
The windowsill is lined with papers and dirty plates and cups.
The carpet is home to an overflowing bin, and is littered with papers, nik naks, and you guessed it, dirty plates and cups. Not much carpet visible actually.

It's a fire hazard as well as a horrible room to be in. I want to have a place to sit and work occasionally but I can't work in there because it's 'his' disgusting man cave of crap.

I offered to declutter and organise for him but he won't let me and gets quite angry at the suggestion, even when I promise not to actually throw away anything but just box the junk up for him to sort through at his convenience.

AIBU to completely blitz it (drastically declutter and organise the whole lot) when he's out one day and put all the junk in boxes for the garage, even though he's told me not to? I'd say the stuff needs to be reduced by about 80% for it to be a decent place to work in.

We are thinking about making the smallest room into an office/hobby room, not sure it's such a good idea now!

I do fling out stuff though, dh is dreadful for wires and chargers and don't get me started on the fecking post....he opens it and keeps every last bit...all the shite they put in with the thing they needed to send you!! ALL OF IT!

...I once whittled 4 large boxes of post down to a carrier bag and a half
...I also "file" all the chargers/wires/plugs/random tool sets/gimmicky item he had to have in shoe boxes. I seal them up with tape, and date them, if i come across them unopened in 6 months time I throw them away. Not one person has ever needed a single thing that has been ditched.

As an aside, here no one is allowed to take cups/plates/food upstairs so I'd put that rule in place very smartly and tough titties...it's just too disgusting to have festering food and mugs upstairs.

I don't understand all the resigned cheerfulness about this. Many of the DHs are being immensely selfish, think their wishes trump everyone else's wishes and needs, without thought or question.

Why would you submit to that? Why would you not say 'you're joking, right? This is our house, this is our study, now let's both make it work for both of us'?

Ah lottie be nice if life was that simple hey?

I'm celebrating tonight as DH has today put a bunch of the crap in the loft and moved some stuff around to make a better space. Still a long way to go with it, but definite progress! (Yay!)

Argh OP my DP has done the same thing (minus dirty cups/plates). I am dying to sort it out but he keeps saying he will do it. He won't. There's boxes of shite ready for the bin in there from two house moves ago.

He can never find important documents when needed and is always in a flap about something he's lost. He also moans because the 'office' so cluttered and he can't concentrate in there (he works from home, somehow). Everywhere he goes he leaves a fucking trail of clutter!

Please let us know how you get on as I'm desperate to sort everything out in there but am worried about the fallout still I think it would be worth it

Oh and I should have also mentioned that this shite filled room is the only other bedroom in our (tiny) house.

Clutter is ok, but dirty cutlery/plates is gross.
DH has an home office but he keeps it clean & tidy. He also has his name on the door (what is it with that?!)

If it were me, I'd shut the door and never enter lol, if he wants to sit in it, let him.

He's acting like a child. And what do we do with dirty, lazy children who won't clear up their rooms? We give them one chance to clean up and failing that we put all their stuff in black bin bags and we put it in the bin.

I'd have no hesitation. Act like a child, get treated like a child.

We share the office/spare room. Each take a side, have a desk each, a chair each and some storage space. My side is a beautiful pinterest inspired craft space. His is a grubby mis match of furniture, paint stains and half drunk cups of tea. I don't go into his office space, he doesn't come into mine. I'm not a fan of his side but I won't mess with it.

How often do you have guests? Could you ditch the bed in the spare room, replace it with a sofa bed, add a desk, stick your name on the door and claim it for yourself?)

I have an office. it is my office. it has my stuff in it. It is quite messy.

my point is that It isnt just DHs tat do this.

DH did pretty much this in our spare room/office in our old house. We moved and got a house with a study. Because he had demonstrated his ability to make an infrequently used spate room into his domain, whilst I was less territorial, I claimed the study to share with the DC and keep the family paperwork. Plus more of my paid work week is at home.