"I don't know whether to laugh or cry at minifingers tiny violin about having to buy cheaper food. What - like 90% of working families earning less than £29 K , then?"
I would really struggle to feed my family of five on an income of 23K, if I was paying 13K to 15K a year rent (which is what a three bedroom flat costs in my very down at heel, grim part of greater London).
I know a family who lives near me. Single mum, 6 children. She is subject to the benefit cap, but luckily for her lives in an affordable HA property, so will probably just about be able to cope on 23K. If she was in a private let her children would go hungry and she would struggle to clothe them and heat her home.
I agree, she shouldn't have had 6 children without a job. I agree that the sperm donor father should be forced to contribute more to the upkeep of his kids, I agree she should get a job, but none of these things have/can happen. She has a baby of only 4 months, and has never worked in her life. Her children are off school sick a lot, and her middle child has quite significant special needs (he has ASD but it's complicated by physical and psychiatric issues). I can't imagine any employer wanting her as she would have to take so much time off to deal with her children's health problems. Childcare would be so prohibitively expensive that it would cost many times more to care for her children than she could possibly earn herself.
I feel incredibly sorry for her children, who are already suffering. I don't think she wants a life on benefits. She got pregnant when she was young and stupid, and is struggling to cope with her day to day life now. I think the effect of the benefit cap will be to reduce her family to destitution, and this will damage her children further - something for which we will all foot the bill for in the future.
It's all well and good to say 'well people shouldn't have had children' but that doesn't take you anywhere. Some unwise and naive women (and very young and uneducated women) have always HAD children that they can't support through work. In the past this was dealt with by abortion, adoption and probably (way back) through infanticide, and prior to the introduction of the welfare state children from these very poor families simply died in much larger numbers from poor nutrition and ill health.
I don't want to see a return to the days when the poorest families were reduced to outright destitution. I don't believe that doing this will deter people like this from having children they can't afford to raise - it has never done in the past, and doesn't in poor countries today.
The thing which encourages women to delay childbearing and to limit their family size is EDUCATION. The more educated a woman is the less likely she is to be a single parent, to have her children young, to have children without the means of raising them. Surely we know enough to realise that the way to halt the cycle of deprivation is to focus on the social well-being of very young children, and on improving their educational chances? Reducing the poorest and least educated families to utter destitution will NOT stop the cycle repeating itself.