To think that a 23k benefits cap will drive some families in the SE

[Minifingers9]

... Into destitution?

I live in a pretty unappealing and comparatively cheap part of greater London but you can't get a 3 bedroom rental for under £1400 a month.
If we lost our jobs we wouldn't be able to live on 23k a year as a family of 5. Not when 15k of it was going on rent.
Why don't they have regional benefit caps?

If I were a single mother, I reckon my best bet would be to live with another single mother. I'd get to go out once in a while and so would she. Sometimes, you see single mothers looking for house shares for exactly that reason. When you read how lonely some single mothers are - some of the threads on here are very sad - you wonder why more people don't do it. The ridiculous stuff about bed sharing and workhouses doesn't deserve an answer.

ours are not the ridiculous posts.

One thing stands out again and again to me on these threads - people who need benefits perceive themselves as more helpless than those who don't. They can't move or make changes, but other people can. The benefits TV shows are rubbish, but on here, I start to see what's meant by a benefits culture.
Do enlighten me.

I think there is a bit a London issue in the context that work isn't actually that hard to come by here. For the last 20 years I have employed a Polish cleaner. Before that I had English cleaners but English people don't seem to want to clean anymore - not in London at least.

Those who can work I think can probably find work in London. Those who can't work because of disability need the support of each and every one of us.

I suspect the "do" is sarcastic but I'll bite. There just seems to be a sort of stuckedness that goes with being on benefits. A sort of can't see a way out. Being caught up in a system. People talk about being trapped on benefits and I see what they mean. But it seems emotional as well as financial.

well Stitch I own my own home - I am in one room, two kids in another and the third in the box room - I could put one of my friends in the shed with the guinea pigs but not sure where her kids would sleep

I have plenty of gumption thanks and plenty of mates - but I don't want to use them as cheap childcare

I have been unemployed for 3 months in the 28 years I have been working - sadly I rely on tax credits because my husband couldn't keep his dick in his pants - that's probably my fault as well

Well, I've been used as cheap/free childcare and I've used other people as that. But I don't call it cheap childcare. I call it helping each other out.

Dawndonna, 15K for a family of six, five disabled and one carer, sounds very low. Is this all you are entitled to?

so Stitch can you pick my three up from school every Monday/Tuesday/weds give them tea and keep them till 6 for no money

and all day on those days in the holidays ... for free

brilliant - where do you live I'll be around about 6 on Monday

You are an angel

And it's not for ever. That's the thing about working. There is the possibility of change and improvement. Benefits - if you get too reliant on them, you are shafted. This government is going to slash the benefit system to ribbons. It's that simple. Even the hitherto protected pensioners are in for a shock. That's my prediction anyway.

I don't care much about fault or flat screen TVs. But I think on the whole these are very very bad times to be using benefits and we are all going to have to get used to things that were once unthinkable.

So ghostly as your not personally affected by this cap, what are your thoughts on it and why.

Or are you just going to cherry pick posts to rile against?

ghosty could your children live with their father half the time? Does he work? Does he pay for them? Does his new lover work? You don't have to live with another single mother to share childcare and fit jobs around it in order to receive fewer benefits and thus be less a burden on full time working women on higher pay.

Fanjo, I've asked you two questions on this thread and you've ignored both of them. I guess I'm one of the posters you find repellent.

No, I can't. I'm not in that life stage anymore and I don't know you. Good luck with improving your situation though. I'm sure you will find a way.

Yes, they feel helpless and others including utterly impoverish immigrants feel masters of their fate able to work at whatever it takes to get on. I often find so much more in common with go getting immigrants than oh woe is me British benefits claimants.

|you are master of your own fate. Go forth and forge a life. Don't be flotsum and jetsum buffeted by tides of life over which you have no control. Seize the power and the day.... writes LL moving into hour 16 of my working day or whatever it is..... I have a lot of benefits claimants to keep so better keep working. Tomorrow Saturday will also be a working day for me although not until about 6.30am whereas my post man son will be up for work at 5.

My job is working with unemployed young people in one of the most economically deprived areas of the UK - I am effected by it - I see the impact of welfare cuts daily

it's empathy - I am able to say 'this doesn't effect me directly but I am angry that it makes life harder for others' it's what makes society nicer - looking out for people

I am allowed to respond to posts aimed at single mums I am one

hth clarify why I have the audacity to join in

Goodbye..not sure if I do. Didn't see them. Am not feeling great and DD is ill

I did get fed up of answering people seeking to defend benefits bashing and sort of give up too.

I wonder about all the minimum wage people that run london, cleaners, admin staff, retail workers etc etc
How will they continue to afford living there or living outside and commuting in?

yes exactly. It's empathy for others.not talking about our own situation. Empathy is something some people here lack.

my ex is self employed and works full time as in 7 days a week - he has them Tuesday/Thursday night and Sat - Sunday for 24 hours - his partner works part time and wont have the kids

If I need to work later or change dates he will pick them up if he can and he's not 230 miles away surveying a job

He lives with her - she wont have the kids their half the time and his job isn't flexible

I can't increase my working hours because I am public sector (and about to find out if I am loosing my job of 20 years ) I have applied for PT work but have been offered days that clash

thanks for trying to be helpful - anything else that needs justifying let me know

The left are wrong about this. the right have massive empathy and want to help. We help in ways that work rather than just chucking money at people which keeps them in poverty. We help in ways with really do help the least well off.

I have / had my 5 children 365 nights a year and their father none (the older ones have left home now so I am not in the position of a woman with children under 10 any more) and I always worked full time and paid for childcare because I made choices as a teenager to ensure I picked higher paid work whilst my friends were out getting drunk and not working for school exams.

I certainly remember when the twins were babies that 5 - 7am on Saturday were core working hours before they woke for their 7am breastfeed.

My cleaner is not on state benefits by the way and in London and is married. They all work very hard - immigrant family and her son who has done so well is on the same LPC (law) course my daughters were on. I think that's wonderful - that you can work so hard you can ensure that level of success in London and through the comprehensive school system.

Mind you I just got 3 or was it 4 new jobs at 9.30 on a Friday night with a busy week next week and work all weekend so may be a bit much of a good thing this week.,... though better than no work. The reason i get this work is I am here at 9.39pm happy to respond to emails from the US when other people have buggered off to the pub or whatever.

Woody Allen was once asked how he did so well. He said" I show up." If you can never be late and never be off sick and be utterly reliable and keep that up you tend to do quite well in life. I am in year 32 of full time working life without a break, without maternity leaves and not surprisingly the harder I work the luckier and happier I get....

I'm not denying your empathy ghostly, and implying that others are without is becoming the new 'daily mail reading' meme, but you empathy is only focusing on one subset of the population, and as has been pointed out many times a relevantly small subset at that.

So where is the empathy for the working poor who don't earn ~29k a year and have had to relocate or look into other jobs when life throws it's curve balls?

You still haven't answered why you think the cap of 23k is unjustified for able bodied people, I'm not asking fanjo as she has a habit of dissapear unt when questions get difficult.