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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want to 'share lifts' with other families??

40 replies

trebus · 26/05/2015 18:27

I would just like to drop off and pick up my own kids at their activity without being obliged to take others as well.....AIBU?

OP posts:
MayPolist · 26/05/2015 18:37

do so, then.
Most people want to save time, petrol and pollution though

cuntycowfacemonkey · 26/05/2015 18:40

No it's fine. I only do lift sharing for one activity but that's because we're good friends tbh I find lift sharing a ball ache

avocadogreen · 26/05/2015 18:40

Just say no thanks then. It's fine. Personally I think it's a lifesaver, I love it when I don't have to do the Brownie run!

EponasWildDaughter · 26/05/2015 18:45

It's no big deal but i'm a bit inclined to want to do my own picking and dropping off of kids too OP.

It's all fine until either you or someone else is either running late or cant be arsed that evening canceling at short notice. Then it's a hassle which just wouldn't happen if you were only dealing with your own kids.

Madeyemoodysmum · 26/05/2015 18:57

I do a mix of both. It's fine. Once however one mum started taking the piss. I soon put a stop to it and she stopped speaking to me. Nip any piss taking in the bud and it can work well.

DinosaursRoar · 26/05/2015 19:01

Some people doing you the 'favour' of half the drop offs/pick ups is actually more hassle than it's worth. It's ok to say "no thanks, we'll just go by ourselves".

Or are you talking about people who suggest lift 'shares' but actually mean you doing it all and them never doing the drop offs/pick ups?

EponasWildDaughter · 26/05/2015 19:17

''Or are you talking about people who suggest lift 'shares' but actually mean you doing it all and them never doing the drop offs/pick ups?''

nodding at this.

In the past i've found myself getting stressed about being reliable when it comes to honoring these types of commitments only to find that the other side are happy to cry off on a whim.

ConfusedInBath · 26/05/2015 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/05/2015 19:27

I've always liked time in the car with just DS and me, on our tod. We talk, it's nice. Add others and the dynamic changes, I turn into a chauffeur, not nearly as much fun.

hoobypickypicky · 26/05/2015 19:35

YANBU. I'd rather have my own DC all the time and my own DC's journeys all the time rather than someone else's DC half of the time.

I've never done the shared lifts/childcare for another parent's DC in return for childcare for mine type of thing. If I want or need someone else to take my children I pay them or I accept that it isn't going to happen.

hennybeans · 26/05/2015 21:57

I don't like sharing lifts either, but I do it to be sociable. I personally don't mind the time driving my DC around, use it to chat to them, etc. I also like to be a bit on the early side and it really stresses me out when other DC are slow/ late getting ready and I have to wait for them. Also, add one extra DC to the car and multiply the noise by ten. Luckily, I'm down to only one shared activity/ ride at the moment.

Mopmay · 26/05/2015 22:09

I would always share for environmental and traffic reasons. I'd much rather take it in turns. My DC love it. Each to their own but why have three cars on the road when you can have one ?!?!

expatinscotland · 26/05/2015 22:17

YANBU

Permanentlyexhausted · 26/05/2015 22:21

I regularly suggest the parents of my Brownies arrange lift shares with each other when we arrange meetings away from our hut. If they choose not to, they have no-one but themselves to blame when they're all stuck in gridlock on a no-through road which isn't wide enough for two cars to pass each other. They soon learn!

cheminotte · 26/05/2015 22:25

Your prerogative of course.
I find it great not having to take dc2 with me both ways for dc1's activities.

Knottyknitter · 26/05/2015 22:30

I can see the advantage of sharing, but only if both parties only have that one activity to fit in. If not you have to double back after drop off of dc to do supermarket shop or whatever, esp Saturdays which are often all about the random errands.

Mopmay · 26/05/2015 22:54

Is that not the point? You drop off 2-3 DC then are free. Someone else picks up ?!?

FryOneFatManic · 26/05/2015 22:57

I only do one lift share. The other mum takes them there, and I fetch them all home. They live close by, so not an issue.

If I did another lift and it turned into me doing all the driving, I'd stop and just take mine.

JohnCusacksWife · 26/05/2015 23:02

I love sharing lifts. DD1's Guides don't finish til 9.30 on a Fri night. If I didn't take week abouts with a friend I'd never get a glass of wine on a Fri night!

SeenSheen · 26/05/2015 23:03

I agree OP. At least if you are late, want to pop to the shops on the way home etc then there is only yourself to worry about.
I have always avoided regular sharing although I feel I am in the minority.

DancingDinosaur · 26/05/2015 23:04

I don't mind, as long as the other family do their 'share'. But if they don't, then no, I wouldn't want to do it.

Mopmay · 26/05/2015 23:05

LIft share means share surely !!?

AnitaManeater · 26/05/2015 23:11

I offered a lift share to a birthday party at a soft play place about 45 mins drive from home. All was fine until I went into labour (I was 38 weeks but anticipating DD going overdue) while sat in the cafe, It was a nightmare, couldn't get hold of any of the other mums so had to drive my DC and 3 others back home breathing through the contractions and trying not to scare the children. They all whined about having to leave early and Not one of them rang back, must have seen missed calls and texts on their phones!!

YsabellStoHelit · 26/05/2015 23:11

I don't mind it but wouldn't do it for school as my kids potentially being punished/missing out because someone else is late would drive me insane.

Fatmomma99 · 26/05/2015 23:19

Oh my gosh, my experience is so different from most (but not quite all of you).

Whilst I agree that I LOVE time in the car with my DD, I'm also TOTALLY up for lift sharing. My DD does a LOT of stuff (regularly, 5+ extra-curricular classes a week) and my DH doesn't drive, so I would do masses and masses if it wasn't for the other mum's I rota with and totally appreciate. And I must know some lovely mums, cos no-one takes the piss and everyone is very careful to do their share.
Also, whilst I just have the one (very active) one, most of her friends are in families of 3 or families with younger sibs. So, for example, for the Guide run, it would mean a mum who has a child in Yr 2 taking he with at 9pm on a school night because she can't leave him home alone.
Plus, yes, it is noisy. But oh my gosh, I do learn some stuff. And their singing! Their SINGING!!!! I love it SO much.

And environmental reasons, of course!

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