Pissed off over trivial argument, does anyone else's DP/DH react like this and WIBU?

[Noonegivesashit]

I nipped out to the shops earlier and left DSD (5) and DD (22 month) with DP. THis doesn't happen very often.
On the way out, I could smell that DD's nappy needed changing. I offered to change it before I went but DP said "just leave it, you won't be long at the shops, you can do it when you come back". I asked if DP could do it while I was out and reluctantly he agreed to change DD's nappy. This doesn't happen very often either. Anyway, I came back from the shops to find DP lounged out on the sofa, DD's piss wet through tights just left on the floor with her new shoes in them!

I pulled them out and then questioned DP as to why he didn't take her shoes out of the tights (or just take them off to start with) and he said "don't have a go at me, I was trying to stop shit from going on the floor and I had one child kicking her legs about and another clinging on to my arm."

I responded "well tell me about it, I bath them, dress them, do their washing, clean up after the , cook for them and look after DSD most of the time she's here so I'm used to it." He responded "don't have a go at me, I've done my best" so I replied "you could write a book of excuses you could," half in jest, half being serious. He said he's taken considerable offence and will be pissed off with me for a considerable length of time!! Currently sat on the sofa sulking and throwing a dirty, disapproving look my way every now and again.

We've got DSD all week and I will be looking after her (as per) which has interfered with some one my plans and work arrangements. I just feel like saying sort your own fucking childcare out. I am never consulted when he agrees to have her for any length of time, I am just expected to do it and then he carries on like a spoiled brat because I questioned him about him slobby, lazy ways. He thinks he's so badly done to but he does sweet FA!!!

YANBU he's a lazy sexist prick.

*lazy sexist entitled prick.

Seriously what's in this for you?

This is his child?
Lazy slob.

You are with this man for what reason?

Is dd his daughter? He's unreasonable either way since you look after dsd, but its particularly if she's his little girl. I agree, he sounds like a lazy, sexist prick.

You know he's deliberately done a bad job and is kicking off like this so you don't leave the kids with him again don't you?
So just ignore the argument, pretend to be completely and utterly oblivious to the sulking, the looks, any further comments and make sure you start going out sans DC more often. Hell, I'd be suddenly and enthusiastically taking up an evening class, a few hobby groups, a book club and making sure he knew it was non optional that he just learn to deal with leg kicking and toddler wrangling.
How pathetic he is.

YADNBU but why do you put up with this arsehole? And he should be the one looking after DSD, not you.

On a practical note, this sounds like something you should address with him in a calm quiet moment. Try to outline the disparity in calm terms and ask him to chip in more - maybe outlining some specific things he can do as it's easier for him to wheedle out if you keep it vague. I feel for you op.

So he had one child he did nothing for, and you went and had two more with him? Doesn't sound like a very sensible plan.

He's a prick. A lazy, selfish, poor excuse for a father prick. But you enable him to be that way when you do all things he should be doing for him.

Your 'D'P would have been happy to leave a DD month old sitting in a shitty nappy given the choice and only changed it reluctantly.

He then left the pissy clearing up to the lesser P (that is you) as he considers it in this relationship.

Stop looking after his DSD make him sort his own children out.

I haven't had two more with him winter I've just had 1 and yes she is his.
He works a lot and he's had a rare day off today, I've always felt bad for putting my foot down and telling him that I canthave DSD because im busy. I feel guilty that he won't get to see her because of me.

You are enabling this lazy sexist piece of shit

good luck with that

He sounds like a useless wanker. I'd be inclined to get rid of him, then you'd only have to look after the child you created. (Knee jerk reaction, come back and tell us how awesome he is).

What holidays do you get from being a mum?

He works a lot? Sounds like you do too OP, what with a job and looking after both his children. I don't want to say LTB because it isn't as easy as that but really, something needs to change or you will be very unhappy.

He's lazy and slobbish and incompetent – well, deliberately incompetent. Let him sulk.

'You can do it when you come back'

This is unbelievable! What a horrible, lazy arse.

My dh would never have said this to me in a million years.

Sorry, misread.

It's not a trivial argument though, is it? It's that he is a terrible father. Why do YOU feel bad because of that?

This drives me crazy. My DP is amazing at this; he fucks up/is lazy/is selfish, I call him on it, he gets cross. WTAF.

I'd chuck him out for the fact that he's said he'll be "pissed off with you for a considerable length of time".

What a bully!

This is a "trivial" argument? No, he didn't want to change his own child's soiled nappy, ruined her shoes by them getting soaked with pee because he didn't have the gumption to take them off, you take care of his other daughter and he is sulking? Not trivial at all.

Wow he sounds lovely. I love men like this, men who act like they are doing YOU a favour by looking after their own child.

Also I would not be happy if my ex made his girlfriend do all the childcare for our child.

He doesn't respect you and he won't look after his children properly. I don't know what you do about that. I wouldn't be facilitating his time with DSD if he can't be bothered to look after his children properly.

massive waste of space..

He works a lot
So do you, you don't get a break from round the clock childcare

I feel guilty that he won't get to see her because of me.

This is his daughter ffs, you have a life beyond pleasing him, you have dc to think about. Don't feel guilty for being too busy. he should organise himself a bit better with work/ weekends so he can see his daughter.