Pissed off over trivial argument, does anyone else's DP/DH react like this and WIBU?

[Noonegivesashit]

I nipped out to the shops earlier and left DSD (5) and DD (22 month) with DP. THis doesn't happen very often.
On the way out, I could smell that DD's nappy needed changing. I offered to change it before I went but DP said "just leave it, you won't be long at the shops, you can do it when you come back". I asked if DP could do it while I was out and reluctantly he agreed to change DD's nappy. This doesn't happen very often either. Anyway, I came back from the shops to find DP lounged out on the sofa, DD's piss wet through tights just left on the floor with her new shoes in them!

I pulled them out and then questioned DP as to why he didn't take her shoes out of the tights (or just take them off to start with) and he said "don't have a go at me, I was trying to stop shit from going on the floor and I had one child kicking her legs about and another clinging on to my arm."

I responded "well tell me about it, I bath them, dress them, do their washing, clean up after the , cook for them and look after DSD most of the time she's here so I'm used to it." He responded "don't have a go at me, I've done my best" so I replied "you could write a book of excuses you could," half in jest, half being serious. He said he's taken considerable offence and will be pissed off with me for a considerable length of time!! Currently sat on the sofa sulking and throwing a dirty, disapproving look my way every now and again.

We've got DSD all week and I will be looking after her (as per) which has interfered with some one my plans and work arrangements. I just feel like saying sort your own fucking childcare out. I am never consulted when he agrees to have her for any length of time, I am just expected to do it and then he carries on like a spoiled brat because I questioned him about him slobby, lazy ways. He thinks he's so badly done to but he does sweet FA!!!

If we split, I wouldn't let him have DD over night, he's just not capable

and you describe this selfish fuck as "lovely" ?

what happened to you that your expectations are so hideously low ?

brought up on a similar household ? Think what lessons your daughter is learning here

he sees you as little more than domestic staff

I was meant to be at work today and I'm extra ratty with the kids, it's not their fault but they are both misbehaving and fighting.

DSD's childcare shouldn't be an issue seeing as though her DM doesn't work, but then I shouldn't be so naive. Being a step parent is so difficult.

Yes you're right I need to assert that I AM NOT domestic staff and he needs to step up and take some of the slack instead of acting like a child when he's told it how it is.

What was the reason he gave for why his last relationship ended?Because I'll eat my hat if it wasn't because of his twattish behaviour

Did you not work today because you have to look after his daughter? If that's the case, that's really shocking.

I'm just confused as to how/why her tights and shoes were all wet?! You said she was in a nappy!

It's bad enough you have to do everything for your own child never mind someone else's.

Seriously refuse. He needs to start pulling his weight.

Otherwise what is the actual point of him? Is he rich? Huge manhood?

Where is the attraction.......

He nappy must've leaked through

I'd be taking your DSD to her mothers and leaving her there, why are you looking after her when you should be at work and she isn't? Don't consult your (D)P, just do it.

Cheeky fuckers

She lives 60 miles away Andy i really dont see why why I should pay petrol money to ferry her daughter around

Hang on...just to latch on to one thing you said....the neighbours told you he was a great father because he took his own child for a walk when his ex was 'tired and could not cope'?? Do you see that? This total expectation that the woman has to do everything and the father is a fucking hero for taking his own child for a bit?

My jaw dropped at that, never mind everything else.

No, my husband would not behave like this and what I would do is to tell him what a prick he is and take MY child out for the day telling him he needs to decide if he is going to grow up and be a decent parent and husband or not. When I got back I'd expect the house and child to be happy and sorted or else both gone for good.

Are you the poster whose car was being used to drive both ways to get the child because the ex wouldn't bring her to you? There was a long thread ages ago...

why are you not working today, like you should be ?

if we split, I wouldn't leave dd overnight with him, he's just not capable
This speaks volumes! He's a useless, selfish twat!
What are YOU getting out of this relationship?
And what AF asked, why aren't you at work today?

Seriously. Seriously OP.

It's not worth going over last mistakes (getting with him, living with him, having another baby with him) but you really should focus on dong the right thing for your baby and deceloping some self respect and leaving him!

Why the fuck do so many women get themselves into this kind if situation.

Stop settling for so little.

Why do you think so little of yourself OP?

It certainly isn't a trivial argument. I would have torn him off a strip for suggesting that the dirty nappy could wait to be done by you when you got back.

Why do some men act so totally incapable when faced with a bit of poo? Unless they just intend to make sure we never ask them again. I bet you find when you next bath or change her that he hardly cleaned her at all.

Let him sulk. Stupid, petulant man-child. It sounds as though the children are more mature than he is anyway. He sounds like an arse.

Make sure you do go into work later in the week. Leave him to sort childcare. Do it. He thinks you won't do that. If it means you have to leave at the crack of dawn before he does then do it.

Don't feel too guilty about access to his other daughter. If he wants access to her then he has to be prepared to muck in with the childcare. If he does that and does it properly so that you can work too then he will see her. If acts all twatty and incapable then you don't facilitate the access visit. It is all his own stupid fault.

DP said "just leave it, you won't be long at the shops, you can do it when you come back". I asked if DP could do it while I was out and reluctantly he agreed to change DD's nappy.

Outrageous behaviour from him. He should have noticed himself she needed changing and sorted it. Telling you that you can do it when you get back isn't parenting.

He isn't parenting his child and he's treating you like a skivvy. I'm appalled.

This is not a trivial argument at all. The 'can wait til you get back' comment tells you all you need to know. What do you get out of this relationship? You should have much higher expectations.

Perhaps he tried his best like he said and got it wrong.

If so you could give him feedback in a way that isn't hostile or aggressive and save yourself the argument.

Frankly if he can say that sincerely after 5 years of parenthood, I have to wonder if you have made a rod for your own back a bit.

I've had it with him today. DD was meant to be going up to my DM's while I go to work but she's woken up full of cold so I don't think it's particularly fair to take her.

He said "you'll just have to take her to work with you then," he's looking after DSD today and did yesterday whilst I was at work (DD came with me). My boss is starting to get a bit pissed off because I'm having to take DD more and more regularly.

I've reminded him who cooks, cleans, baths, dresses, basically does everything for his DD whilst she's here and I told him that his refusal to look after DD for a couple of hours whilst I'm at work is pretty piss poor considering I've looked after DSD all week and had to change my plans to accommodate this!

If he's at home he should be looking after all the kids not just one you shouldn't be taken any to work if he's home. Wtaf.