Okay - so name changed for this. My DD (13) has been asked to represent my husbands country in her chosen sport (she has dual nationality). We are so immensely proud. However such representation means she needs to be in husbands country on two long occasions this year. Here is problem - MIL and partner are prolific smokers and live in a one bed roomed apartment. There is no way DD should stay with them (where would she sleep for one and the smoking room environment for the other). However they are currently staying with us (smoking in my conservatory) and MIL very upset that DD staying with husbands friend when she goes over to compete and not with them. We have explained re one bedroom thing and she has said she will share bed with DD and partner will go to his grown up daughters house. Feel dreadful as she only her grandchildren approx 3/4 times a year. BUT she always does this re guilt trip - we usually go over every summer and stay with the. (in their one bedroom very smokey apartment). AIBU to put foot down over this - should say she works soooo hard at chosen sport to spoil it by being in a smoky environment and sharing a bed with her grandmother (which at 13 I am not sure she would want to anyway). There is a 'history' between us in which she always stamps her foot and gets her own way (hence smoking in my house).