Ignorant assumptions about having 3DC!

[Happyyellowcar]

"Your house must be CHAOS", "poor DS1, having to put up with first one sibling and now another ! No wonder he was playing up at Climbing today", "poor DD - she must be shattered as she is dragged around after DS1 & 2 all day - no chance of a decent nap for her!" Etc etc - all comments made to me recently and starting to really annoy me now. Usually said rather smugly by people with 0,1 or 2 children and quite often followed by "that's why WE decided to stick at n children! Tee hee!". Look - my house is actually quite calm and lovely thanks, DD (6 months) has 2 naps of the same length each day at the same time regardless of our activities and DS1 was a fidgety little thing even before we inflicted 2 siblings upon him! His life is richer for having his siblings IMHO as he has learned valuable sharing and caring type stuff he may not have done otherwise. Wish people would bloody think before opening their gobs sometimes! Just needed a vent..

we have 7 kids.

apparently I'm mad

This rings a bell. My sister used to drop comments like that at least once in every single conversation and how she had the perfect gentleman's family, a boy and a girl, how as they got older she was getting her life bag and basically how crazy I was having three

Then she had an unplanned third child

Didn't appreciate my initial reaction to the news - I couldn't stop laughing

Oh the middle child thing is indeed utter rubbish.

I have four
People did suggest we buy a telly
Other than the odd comment like "you must be mad" and "how many". No one has made more than passing comments.

I have 3 and a big age gap between DC1 and DC2. Everyone thinks my children have different fathers (they don't.) Never mind!

I have 1 brother, who was special needs so we don't have a usual relationship IYSWIM,

My dad was one of 6, I would have loved more brothers & sisters, even If it meant sharing a room!

DD has just started asking when she'll get more brothers & sisters & I feel awful having to say never!

Honestly, I love having a big family!

Fairycaravan - can you be more specific about why being the middle child was so bad for you and DH so I can avoid making DS2's life miserable please? He's a genuinely happy and settled chappy at the minute and we love him to bits so would hate for him to grow up resentful of us because DD came along! Thanks!

I had three DC in three and a half years and did get a lot of hands full/don't you have a telly comments.
The only one that really hurt was when we told pil about expecting ds2 and mil said 'Oh no!' Because we had ds and dd and shouldn't have ruined it with another human being.

It is just rude people though, nothing to be done. Now I get asked when I'm having a fourth, and people seem disappointed when I tell them I'm not!

I'm the middle child in my family and I can honestly say that I have never been treated differently because I'm the middle one. We are all treated differently but fairly. Differently because of our characters not for any reason of rank.

However DS1 and 2 are literally forced to share everything from the minute they wake up til they go to sleep at night

How lovely for them. You have a great long diatribe about how wonderful it is to be 'forced' to share everything. What a lovely piece of reading that was.

I'm a middle child and never felt hard done by at all - i cant understand why having 3dc automatically means one of them will be left out. Ive known plenty of families with 2dc where one child gets all the glory and the other is left in the shadows. It's down to the parents not the family size, surely? Incidentally, my friend is 1 of 8 and her mum was religious about having 1:1 with all of them and she genuinely has a good relationship with each dc in adulthood.

Maybe it depends on your circle. In ours (Dh is irish, if that's relevant)! most have 3 DC. In fact, when we had just 2, we were often asked if/when we're we having no.3
I've only once been asked if there will be a fourth, now I'll admit myself that that would be crazy.

I often get told that my hands are full and I'm not offended. I think people are just making conversation or observations really, it's small talk. That and, well yes, 3 DC IS very busy

I have never had that. I am frequently asked when we having no 4 and our youngest is still a baby

When people ask I have to be honest and say "three is a lot of children". When friends with two ask about having a third I have to be honest and say I always wanted three and it's the right number for us... but somehow three is a lot more than two.

That doesn't mean I welcome remarks from total strangers, particularly in supermarkets and almost always "three boys? You've got your hands full there."

I think I find it hard to field those comments because I am not very secure and I infer criticism, namely that it must look as though I am not coping well enough.

Try having 5 boys.The fun comments never stop.I just get in first now,they don't know what to say.Takes the wind out of their sails

dust

i can up that.
6 boys and a girl here and I never hear the end of "oh you can stop now, you've finally had a girl"
umm, nice try but no cigar you ignorant twat and if I must explain I'm stopping because my body has had enough
DD is actually our 6th.

and that is just one of the boring, nasty comments I get.
when some wonderful people say things like "oh how lovely, you must enjoy having a big family" honestly I just want to hug and kiss them, they make me feel so happy!