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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this racist behaviour from a child?

44 replies

shipinabottle · 24/05/2015 20:02

Son aged 8 very upset as boy at school aged 9/10 has been making fun of his name.
Sons name is Jewish name but we are not Jewish.
Mean boy started saying You're Jewish aren't you? My son didn't really know what he meant and as he was saying it in a mocking tone he said no I'm not.

The mean boy started shouting 'yeah you are look it's Jewish (sons name) to everyone and making fun of him and pointing at him.
My problem is he was using the word Jewish as if it's a bad thing and I think the school should know.

Now the school already have me down as over protective mum but I don't want kids making fun out of my sons name and I'm gobsmacked a kid if 9/10 is coming out with things like that.

Is it racist or am I over thinking it?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/05/2015 20:05

Well Jews are not a race

But having said that, it's clearly bang out of order and it's upsetting your son so of course you should speak to the school.

I don't think you'll come across as overprotective in this particular instance.

Gottagetmoving · 24/05/2015 20:06

The boy has probably heard things at home. I would mention it to the teacher, certainly.

Icimoi · 24/05/2015 20:07

Yes, it is pretty vile anti-semitism. The other boy may not realise the significance of it, but it needs to be nipped in the bud.

SolomanDaisy · 24/05/2015 20:08

It is anti Semitic and I would definitely report it. It is horrible, presumably the child is hearing some very negative things about Jewish people.

honeysucklejasmine · 24/05/2015 20:08

Yeah, that's not right.

The5DayChicken · 24/05/2015 20:09

Where on earth has an 8 year old picked up antisemitic behaviour from?! I'd have a word with the teacher and see what they can do in school about it. Possibly a session about tolerance, equality and bullying?

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 20:09

Why do the school already have you down as an over protective mum?

drspouse · 24/05/2015 20:12

Erm, being Jewish is an ethnicity so this is racist.
Legally being Jewish or Sikh is an ethnic characteristic so prejudice against those peoples is racism, while being Muslim or Christian does not define your ethnicity.

Original poster

shipinabottle · 24/05/2015 20:13

Crust away because I go in to complain about year 6 boys picking on my son (year 3) , apparently my son is taking things personal when older kids doing things which my son gets upset about.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/05/2015 20:16

Apologies drspouse, you're right.

OP I wouldn't get too hung up on what the school already think of you.

In this particular case, you'd be right to go in and sort it out.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 20:25

Ok, was just asking.

I do understand where you're coming from but at a certain age they have to learn to deal with people saying unkind things, going up the school lots has a detrimental effect and the child is seen as being weak then picked on more. Its sad but a harsh reality.

I remember my son being picked on and I wanted to march right up there. Son was mortified.

I went about things another way from then. I enrolled my son in cadets and karate to boost his confidence in being able to deal with this.

Atenco · 24/05/2015 20:28

Definitely racist and should be addressed. Also bullying against your child.

If you can get him to learn to laugh things off it will be a great help him in later years and I say that as one who didn't know I should just laugh and ended up horribly bullied in secondary school whereas my dd, no thanks to me always found any nickname they gave tremendously funny, so no problem there.

AnyRailway · 24/05/2015 20:54

Yes, do say something. Not only for the sake of your own ds but also for the sake of the child doing the bullying. It would be so unfair on him to let him grow up with those awful prejudices in his head. Someone should have a word.

Original poster

shipinabottle · 24/05/2015 21:08

Thanks for the advice everyone, yes I have tried to get son to laugh things off but he gets either angry or cries when someone does something which is making him a target.

OP posts:

CactusAnnie · 24/05/2015 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrlandoWoolf · 24/05/2015 21:13

How the hell do children that young pick up these things?
What must be being said at home to them?

A good response would be "I'm not Jewish but yes, it's a Jewish name. What's wrong with that?" But at that age, I suspect your child is too young for that kind of response.

I have worked with some children who have issues with Jewish people. I know exactly where they have picked those issues up. I also know children who have issues with children from different countries - again no surprise where they have picked up those views.

ilovemargaretatwood8931 · 24/05/2015 21:15

The school need to know about this. Anti-Semitic and racist. I imagine that the child who's been saying these things doesn't quite understand how seriously wrong his teasing is. And he needs to, as well as stopping it.

Good luck OP.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 21:18

My son was and still is a gentle soul OP. He wouldn't even play football in case he hurt another kid in a tackle. Does your DS like other pursuits out of school, could you maybe get him to a class that will give him a bit of confidence?

Martial arts is a good one.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 24/05/2015 21:19

Totally racist and you need to follow it up.

The kid would have learnt it from his parents. It's utterly shocking when you realise this, which is why it needs nipping in the bud.

crustsaway · 24/05/2015 21:20

This does need nipping in the bud BUT the OP's son would also benefit from learning how to deal with the nasties of this world. You can't change other peoples behaviour but you can learn to deal with it.

Original poster

shipinabottle · 24/05/2015 21:35

Crusts I am def looking into martial arts as my son hates school.
He did do football but he was too polite at playing ! He wouldn't tackle and waited to take his turn with the ball

OP posts:

LotusLight · 24/05/2015 21:36

Not acceptable but the chidlren doing it may not understand. I suppose he could show them his penis to prove he isn't when they are next in the loos. I suggest get him learning some martial arts. My children all have old testatment names and we live in NW London so might be taken for Jewish but as we are utterly mixed around here muslims, jews, atheists, hindus it is a great area to be in with very little evidence of any discrimination. In fact my daughter used sometimes to attend Jewish assembly at school as it was shorter than Christian!

fakenamefornow · 24/05/2015 21:45

One thing I find a little odd here is that a 9/10yo can recognise a name as being Jewish, where would they get that from? But yes, I would have a word.

BeaufortBelle · 24/05/2015 21:45

It's racist and it's nasty and you must speak to the teacher. Am a bit surprised your son doesn't know anything about Jewish people and their religion though if he has a Jewish name. I think you need to teach him so he can defend both himself and against specific racial insults.

OTH a lot of children have Old Testament names now that Jewish people probably wouldn't use nowadays.

OrlandoWoolf · 24/05/2015 21:46

My son's name is Jewish. Well, it's an old Testament name - as are many children's names.

What is also upsetting is the implication from the bully that there is something wrong with being Jewish. Which there isn't. I would hate for a child who is Jewish to deny they are Jewish because someone seems to have an issue with it.

Schools should be teaching tolerance - as some parents seem to be teaching intolerance.

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