Is this racist behaviour from a child?

[shipinabottle]

Son aged 8 very upset as boy at school aged 9/10 has been making fun of his name.
Sons name is Jewish name but we are not Jewish.
Mean boy started saying You're Jewish aren't you? My son didn't really know what he meant and as he was saying it in a mocking tone he said no I'm not.

The mean boy started shouting 'yeah you are look it's Jewish (sons name) to everyone and making fun of him and pointing at him.
My problem is he was using the word Jewish as if it's a bad thing and I think the school should know.

Now the school already have me down as over protective mum but I don't want kids making fun out of my sons name and I'm gobsmacked a kid if 9/10 is coming out with things like that.

Is it racist or am I over thinking it?

[OrlandoWoolf]

Adults have often told me that primary school children don't 'see' race, that they all happily muck in together

Kids see differences. It's how they react to them.

I've worked in primary schools which are full of children from different backgrounds. Some are "melting pots" where people get on well.Others are "cauldrons". I've seen refugee children from different countries have a go at each other because of the backgrounds they come from. Children learn attitudes from their parents - and no doubt from the media as well.

[Devora]

Adults have often told me that primary school children don't 'see' race, that they all happily muck in together. But they're wrong. All through primary, children are noticing racial (and other) differences. The parents of majority children may not see this; the parents of minority children are absolutely aware of it, because it's our kids coming home upset.

The Jewish children I know in London state primaries have often had problems with Muslim children - seems like some radicalised parents and older siblings are passing on stuff to children which then gets acted out in the playground. My own children are pretty pissed off that I've saddled them with a Jewish surname, as well as same sex parents and mixed racial origin.

Whether the child 'means it' is absolutely irrelevant in terms of the school's duty to take action. (Though of course it makes a difference to what that action should be.)

[SolomanDaisy]

Anyone who thinks there isn't an issue with anti semitism in the UK just needs to look at some of the press coverage of Ed Miliband.

The child using Jewish as an insult probably doesn't fully comprehend what they're saying, because they're too young. Since the OP's son doesn't know what Jewish means either, there's clearly some work for the school to do on understanding about people having different cultural and religious backgrounds.

[Iggi999]

So, are you going to speak to the school?

[Sunny67]

i would speak to the school as this boy needs to be told what he is doing is wrong. A good friend of mine who is Polish has had to speak to her DD preschool yep 4 year olds! As a boy in her group has been saying he doesn't like Polish people and that she is stupid because she doesn't understand everything that is said to her. The day after the school had the mum, the boy has said sorry. Hopefully it won't happen again.

[BertrandRussell]

My "godson" was viciously bullied for being jewish in a well regarded London prep school. The school disregarded it- and very much took the line that it couldn't be happening because they were too young to understand things like that. The suggestion was that he had heard the things he reported from adults outside school and was trying to get attention/get other boys into trouble. It was horrible.
So be very careful with the "oh, he doesn't understand the significance of it" I bet he does. I bet he comes from an EDL/BNP/UKIP family and he's absorbed theses attitudes from birth. Talk to the school, for your son's sake, and for the bully's.

[hedgehogsdontbite]

'You're/he's being over sensitive' and 'You/he take things too personal' are standard excuses for bullying behaviour. The school should not be labelling you as overprotective, they should be dealing with older children upsetting your child. The older children may be doing/saying stuff that doesn't bother other kids, that's fine for those kids. Your child however doesn't like it and so them continuing is not acceptable.

[RachelWatts]

A school friend once told me her mother had said she wasn't allowed to play with 'the Jew' - she meant me.

I have an Old Testament name, and she obviously thought I looked Jewish.

[larrygrylls]

Beaufort,

Then you are v lucky. There is plenty of (mainly) low level anti semitism in the UK.

[BeaufortBelle]

I'm half Jewish and have never heard a Jewish child called Judas. Simon, Max, Sam, Louis, yes.

I'm also aware there's a bit of an anti-Semitic tide in the UK at present but I have never in all my 55 years seen anti-Semitism in the UK. I have heard the occasional ignorant comment such as "he's a bit of a Jew" meaning tight from people who should know better but I haven't heard comments like that made with malice.

[larrygrylls]

Jews, on the whole, are a race. I know there are some Jews who do not conform to this but with interbreeding discouraged, there are many genetic markers that most Jews do have. Clearly these days that is rapidly changing (many Jews marrying 'out' etc

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Lotus' suggestion is ridiculous. Proving you're not Jewish rather feeds into the idea that there's something wrong with being Jewish. I think the school needs to sort this out.

[queenofthebored]

I am neither religiously, ethnically or culturally Jewish but my first name is Jewish in origin and in spelling - merely because my mother thought it was pretty I also have certain physical characteristics that are stereotypically seen as "Jewish". Growing up it was never an issue other then no-one ever spelling my name correctly and I didn't grow up in a multi cultural area at all - in fact as I joke it was so white it could've been sponsored by Persil . I have however noticed in recent years and now living in London I get more comments of a negative nature regarding my name and the assumption that I am Jewish - I often wear headscarves because I like them and my DP is fond of hats particularly fedoras which in the area we live are linked to being Jewish rather than as a preference for vintage clothing - we have had some really vile comments shouted out at us on the street/walking through the market on the assumption that we are Jewish. As an adult I'm big and bolshie enough to tackle individuals where I feel its safe to do so - they are always amusingly thrown by my wurzles accent as its not what they were expecting. I would raise this with both the class and headteacher this sort of thing needs to be tackled head on

[Devora]

Not acceptable but the chidlren doing it may not understand. I suppose he could show them his penis to prove he isn't when they are next in the loos.

Please don't do this! Also, whether or not the child understands and whether or not your son is Jewish, there is antisemitism being expressed in the school and ALL the children need to be protected from that. Children need protection from developing racist attitudes just as much as they do from being victims of racism.

we live in NW London so might be taken for Jewish but as we are utterly mixed around here muslims, jews, atheists, hindus it is a great area to be in with very little evidence of any discrimination. I know some Jewish children who have really suffered in N London primary schools - nasty stuff that is clearly coming through from parents and older siblings.

[OrlandoWoolf]

There are people who think school should be about teaching and not about "social engineering". This example - as well as many others - shows that schools do have a place and a role to foster respect, tolerance and understanding of different groups.

Some say it's PC gone mad - but unfortunately there are influence on children from parents and other areas that breed intolerance.

I hate to imagine what messages children pick up from home which are basically about intolerance towards different groups.

[shipinabottle]

My sons name is very close to Judas and he has had kids saying he killed Jesus as the name is similar so I think maybe this is where a 9 year old would have got its a Jewish name by mixing it up with Judas.

[ilovesooty]

It's anti semitic and the school need to be made aware of it and deal with it.

I sincerely hope Lotus' suggestion about showing his penis wasn't serious.

[grumpysquash]

Definitely a learned behaviour on the part of the child and most definitely reflects the parents more than the child.
My DS2 is called Isaac, a name popular in the Jewish community, but also generally popular nowadays. We are not Jewish and actually are not any religion. After we named him, we had a number of people say things like:
"I didn't know you were Jewish"
"I didn't know your husband was Jewish" (he isn't and anyway Judaism passes through the mother's line)
"How come he's the only one with a Jewish name?"
etc. etc.
All of these comments came from people in my parent's generation though, most people my age and lower just thought it was a nice name or didn't say anything at all.

[OrlandoWoolf]

My son's name is Jewish. Well, it's an old Testament name - as are many children's names.

What is also upsetting is the implication from the bully that there is something wrong with being Jewish. Which there isn't. I would hate for a child who is Jewish to deny they are Jewish because someone seems to have an issue with it.

Schools should be teaching tolerance - as some parents seem to be teaching intolerance.

[BeaufortBelle]

It's racist and it's nasty and you must speak to the teacher. Am a bit surprised your son doesn't know anything about Jewish people and their religion though if he has a Jewish name. I think you need to teach him so he can defend both himself and against specific racial insults.

OTH a lot of children have Old Testament names now that Jewish people probably wouldn't use nowadays.

[fakenamefornow]

One thing I find a little odd here is that a 9/10yo can recognise a name as being Jewish, where would they get that from? But yes, I would have a word.

[LotusLight]

Not acceptable but the chidlren doing it may not understand. I suppose he could show them his penis to prove he isn't when they are next in the loos. I suggest get him learning some martial arts. My children all have old testatment names and we live in NW London so might be taken for Jewish but as we are utterly mixed around here muslims, jews, atheists, hindus it is a great area to be in with very little evidence of any discrimination. In fact my daughter used sometimes to attend Jewish assembly at school as it was shorter than Christian!

[shipinabottle]

Crusts I am def looking into martial arts as my son hates school.
He did do football but he was too polite at playing ! He wouldn't tackle and waited to take his turn with the ball

[crustsaway]

This does need nipping in the bud BUT the OP's son would also benefit from learning how to deal with the nasties of this world. You can't change other peoples behaviour but you can learn to deal with it.