DM gave 4 yr old wine

[AcerA]

Would you be annoyed, it wasn't a lot, about 1 or 2 cm in the end of a glass but I felt really uncomfortable and cross about it, more than anything because he'd asked earlier in eve and I'd said no, then had discussion with dm about why I didn't want him having wine.
I'd been putting ds2 to bed and came back and he was joking about drinking and being wobbly, feel dm undermined me and as a silly aside I couldn't help thinking what would be said if he goes into nursery saying this!

Agree with the others who've said your rules should be abided by. Ultimately, this is your child, not hers. She's had her time as parent to a youngster, made the decisions she thought were right based on what she knew, and she'd most likely have gone batshit if someone had overridden her own rules with her children, so she damned well should know better than to behave this way.

We're laid-back about our DCs and alcohol; DS1 is 9 and on Christmas morning I'll make him baby bucks fizz with a drop of champagne, if I have wine on a friday night he'll have a sip sometimes. But all that aside, if I asked my MIL to ensure he had no alcohol I'd expect her to abide by that. It's not so much the fact he had alcohol at stake here but the fact that she wilfully undermined you. And your word should be law.

Good idea Camel

Whatever you think about age of alcohol, the fact is you told her no and she undermined you.

I would be beyond livid if someone gave my 4 year old coke, let alone alcohol.

I'm not sure she she'd be having my child unattended again.

Yanbu. She was really disrespectful to ignore your wishes like that.

Giving kids alcohol to demystify it is such a knobby thing to do and totally just necessary. Alcohol is not a necessity by any stretch.

Agree with everyone else about the undermining you being the worst thing. When you say she's an 'unbelievable support' does that actually mean she takes over and everything has to be done her way

TooOld dog of a friend of mine got into the cupboard and ate chocolate, had to have his stomach pumped to save his life, resulting in much upset and a huge vet's bill. And this is a dog with a cast-iron stomach that's eaten lots of other off limits things. Feel free to tell your mum.