DM gave 4 yr old wine

[AcerA]

Would you be annoyed, it wasn't a lot, about 1 or 2 cm in the end of a glass but I felt really uncomfortable and cross about it, more than anything because he'd asked earlier in eve and I'd said no, then had discussion with dm about why I didn't want him having wine.
I'd been putting ds2 to bed and came back and he was joking about drinking and being wobbly, feel dm undermined me and as a silly aside I couldn't help thinking what would be said if he goes into nursery saying this!

Not sure it has to be "backed" with evidence. Are we trying to "demonise" alcohol now?

As I said, I think its not a big deal to give kids alcohol. But you are mum and what you say goes.

I remember my granddad (now sadly no longer with us) let my then 10 year old brother have some wine out of his glass. It wasn't a slug it was more like half a glass. Cue pissed up little brother, who eventually vomited over the table.

To this day my mum - who adored her FIL - still finds this upsetting!

YANBU op.

No but the attitude is that giving it at a young age (not this young!) means they'll have a good relationship with alcohol as an adult. People are basing that on their feeling that it's right and it's passed into folklore.

Sounds really silly but I got really upset saying I'd not drunk for over three years in being pregnant and bf him to avoid his little body processing horrid toxins and she'd undermine all of that. He's a strapping lad and I'm sure is fine just feel totally disrespected.

Too right. I'm sure it is fine as his body will process it. But why on earth do it?

YANBU. It's illegal to give a child under 5 years alcohol.

Tell her if she does it again, you'll call 101.

YANBU. I would be livid. Much older children, there's a discussion to be had about diluted sips with water if they show an interest etc. but a two year old? No bloody way.

Call 101

Let's despatch that "continental view" for a start - "While the UK has some of the highest levels of binge drinking, our average alcohol consumption is actually lower and we have less alcohol related deaths than countries such as France, Portugal and Spain." www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/9836297/Do-not-drink-like-the-French-expert-warns.html

The NHS webpage confirms it's illegal to give children under 5 alcohol: www.nhs.uk/chq/pages/2595.aspx?categoryid=62

She's proved you can't trust her to be alone with your children.

I know it's not the same, I really do so please don't think I'm comparing your child to my dog but, my own mum does things like this with my dog. Thinks I'm OTT for not letting him eat chocolate biscuits and other things and when I'm not looking she'll sneak him chocolate. As I said, not same thing, but I understand that feeling of being undermined when you're trying to do the best thing for someone/something you love. It's a pretty horrible feeling.

Does she know how dangerous it is? Genuine question, we had dogs when I was a child and while my parents bought dog chocs I didn't realise that was because normal chocolate was dangerous

YANBU!

"then had discussion with dm about why I didn't want him having wine."

After you explained it to your mother she should have listened to you. I would be very annoyed!!!

yeah, there was a lot of 'demystifying' of alcohol in our house. I first got blackout drunk aged 8. your mileage may vary.

TooOldForGlitter is your mother trying to kill your dog? Chocolate is poisonous to dogs.

A tiny sip of wine would not have a detrimental effect on a 2 year old for god sake

It doesn't matter if it is right/wrong to give a child wine, you should no and your mother should have listened!

*you SAID no and your mother should have listened!

Agree crustaway just principle of discussing it then my view being disregarded. I love my mum its not end of relationship or anything that serious but she has to respect my decisions when it comes to my chikdren.

I'd be fuming! My mother is French and all into giving children wine to taste and sugar lumps soaked in coffee and stuff but her version of a taste is a little finger dipped in the glass and licked, not actual wine to drink!

She also respects my opinion and my wishes, as any grandparent or indeed any person who has access to your children should do whether it is about alcohol, sweets or which coat to out on them today.

She doesn't believe me. She's very much of the "oh we gave our dog chocolate and he lived to be 17" school of thought.

I wouldn't be leaving child with her again if she does this while you are there,what else is she did ing.

You are 100% right there AcerA, which I have said all along. I was laughing at the call 101 brigade.

I would be livid! Firstly because I don't think that this is okay at this age and secondly, because you were undermined. I would not let that lie at all.