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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be glad that the dark side of the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting) has finally been exposed? *trigger warning*

34 replies

TheMustard · 22/05/2015 21:26

Apologies if there is already a thread on this, I had a skim, but couldn't find one.

It's been confirmed in newly released police reports that the eldest Duggar son sexually abused young girls, including his sisters, as a teenager.

And for years they have been touted as a wholesome, Christian family, and held up as a good example of "perfect" family life. But, clearly, the young women in particular in this family have suffered horribly throughout their childhoods, but have remained trapped in the family's cult-like church movement. And a television network was happily recording them and marketing them as such the whole time, when they must have known what had happened.

It has previously bothered me that some people I know said that they liked them, and that the children seemed to be happy, when they obviously lived such a restricted lifestyle, and had little choice in their situation. Add to that the highly offensive messages they endorse politically, such as wishing to ban abortions, and warning people against allowing trans people to use the correct toilet facilities for them, because there was a danger they could molest children.

Obviously this is terrible for the victims involved, and I hope that they will now receive any help they need in healing from what has happened to them, as I doubt Jim-Bob and Michelle provided any at the time. Am I being unreasonable to be glad that they are now being exposed as a dangerous example of extreme religion gone wrong? Their network has pulled current planned airings of their show, but it's not been cancelled atm.

OP posts:
annielouise · 22/05/2015 21:28

There's a thread called Josh Duggar in Chat with about 80 posts.

TheMustard · 22/05/2015 21:29

Thanks, didn't think to check Chat.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 22/05/2015 21:35

Is there a proven link between religion and paedophilia?

JustAPawn · 22/05/2015 21:37

I feel an unnatural compulsion to watch '19 kids and counting'. They are all so painfully dumb, insipid and braindead. I feel really sorry for all those kids living in a family cult and being exploited in a tv show.

Freestripe · 22/05/2015 23:12

The executives knew too...

blindgossip.com/?p=71479#more-71479

welliesinthespring · 22/05/2015 23:18

I'm not really understanding why you'd be 'glad' about it or why the television company 'must have known' but I only know about them from here.

GloGirl · 22/05/2015 23:20

Free Stripe, I don't understand the Blind Gossip website. How do you fill in the blanks?

ShowMeYourTARDIS · 22/05/2015 23:39

I've read the police reports, and it sounds like one of Josh Duggar's victims was only 4. And the molestations occurred over at least a year. I'm afraid that the police reports only tell part of the story...and his daughter is 5 as well.

Hope2003 · 23/05/2015 13:20

Funny how I've just put a question to AIBU in the last few days asking exactly how far is too far in the showing of children's daily lives !The family I posted about are Irish and at this stage the eldest at 2years 8months has been broadcast for at least 20 mins everyday even her birth .There really needs to be a debate about this . It never turns out well for the kids sadly !!

hibbledibble · 23/05/2015 13:27

I am shocked, but I don't think it is fair to associate religion with his actions.

AttitcusFinchIsMyFather · 23/05/2015 15:34

I have seen the sexual abuse "fact sheet" the family uses. It places all blame on the victims, saying that they would have invited the abuse :( and that it makes them closer to God, and i finished by asking them whether they would chose to have no abuse or being closer to God - with the expectation that they pick the abuse/closer to God. shocking stuff.

Feminine · 23/05/2015 15:51

I'm disappointed.
They are not my bag, but l thought them calm and respectful.
I'm not however, surprised.

minibmw2010 · 23/05/2015 16:09

No it's not surprising / I've always thought them creepy. The mother is a strange monotone woman and the father was always grabbing her and acted like he was 'such a man' because he's fathered 19 children ??. And apparently this continued for a year before they did anything to remove him and keep the daughters safe.

Totality22 · 23/05/2015 16:18

GloGirl. Keep reading after the article finishes and other posters on Blind Gossip have 'guessed' the shows, effectively filling in the blanks.

Oldraver · 23/05/2015 16:39

I am shocked, but I don't think it is fair to associate religion with his actions.

Not religion per se, but their brand of extreme religion that rules every moment of their life.

fatlazymummy · 23/05/2015 16:44

I think it's completely fair to associate religion with his actions. Every aspect of their lives was controlled by the religious beliefs of their parents, so of course it was a factor.

silveracorn · 23/05/2015 16:48

Oh I think religion plays a massive part in this. Manipulative and self-deceptive people love to redesign God in their own image. They pick and choose what parts of the Bible (or any other holy book) to refer to, and then use what they have decided is the Word of God as justification for severe treatment of others, hatred, prejudice, punishment, gross repression and assumption of goodness or greatness in those who hold positions of power and abuse them.
Organised religion is often extremely unhealthy. I have faith in God but gave up on church years ago because it encouraged a sort of spiritual and moral blindness and bovine acceptance that black was white because the church leaders said so.
The Duggars have hidden behind religion and used it to mask their oppression and aggression.

Beth2511 · 23/05/2015 17:00

Looking at some of the children is quite sad, they just look so lonely.

What about his own children?

DioneTheDiabolist · 23/05/2015 17:15

This seems like a very odd thing to be glad about OP.Confused

I think it's tragic that these children have been over exposed in the media. It's beyond awful that they have been sexually abused. And I am so sorry that they have not been afforded the anonymity and privacy that they deserve to deal the impact.

No, I see absolutely nothing to be glad about here.Sad

Beth2511 · 23/05/2015 17:31

if anyone goes to free jinger the full police report is there. sickening

drudgetrudy · 23/05/2015 18:00

I agree with Dione-I can see nothing to be glad about at all.
All this publicity is leading to re-victimisation of the victims.
A sexually repressed teenage boy assaulted his sisters and the family handled it badly.
Why should that be something to be glad about?

I think the children have been over-exposed to the media and I also think that there is a lot of hypocrisy from the family about sexual matters.

Out of interest what would be people's response on the first occasion that a 14 year old boy touched his sister inappropriately? Would they march him straight to the police or try to protect the sister and educate him?

Not asking in order to be controversial - a genuine question.

Some of the Duggar daughters have lost all their sparkle. I do wonder sometimes what else they have been exposed to but I have also been interested to watch how the parents manage such a large family.

PeachyPants · 23/05/2015 18:04

AttitcusFinchIsMyFather that factsheet sounds terrible, do you have a link?

drudgetrudy · 23/05/2015 18:06

Over-exposed in the media-not to the media-sorry

fatlazymummy · 23/05/2015 19:24

Yes, the privacy of the victims has been grossly violated. It most likely will be for the rest of their lives, due to their 'celebrity' status. A status that was sought by their disgusting parents, not the children.
This isn't the first case of sexual abuse that has been uncovered within fundamental religious cults and it won't be the last. The more it's brought into the open, the better. That doesn't help the children in this family but it might help future victims.
So 'glad' isn't the right choice of words, but this is a necessary step. Perhaps people on forums like this won't think the Duggars are harmless anymore.

fancyanotherfez · 23/05/2015 19:32

I wouldn't say glad, but I always thought it was distasteful parading them as some sort of celebrity ideal family, when they were mysoginistic, homophobic and downright unpleasant in many ways, yet their lives were all over the TV. I don't believe the UK equivalent 16 kids and counting family are the same in any way, but watching that, you can see some issues, mainly that the parents are in desperate need of counselling over their backgrounds and that their eldest daughter is admired for having 2 children in her teens yet people just go ' ooh look so many baybees!' and ignore the issues. People watch them and nothing is questioned.