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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a little bit of a send off when I go on maternity leave?

66 replies

DancingHat · 22/05/2015 16:18

It's my second baby and after the first I was presented with a bunch of flowers, a few little things like sleep suits and bibs and a card signed by my team.

In leaving again today and got...a card. I feel a bit let down they've not made even a little bit of effort with a bunch of flowers or a little outfit or something. It feels a bit greedy to want something the second time round too but just a little something would have been nice. AIBU?

OP posts:
Silverdaisy · 22/05/2015 22:57

It is a shame you never got a card, that's quite poor. As TL you delegated the job to organise collections, then (in theory) someone senior to you should have thought about your ML card? Rather than your team, who had to be asked to organise things for colleagues.

Original poster
DancingHat · 23/05/2015 00:23

Thank you for the reality check Grin

I think it was because two people have left in the last month with collections, cards, presents, leaving speeches etc so maybe people weren't in the mood for another one. And someone else is leaving next week. It's a team of about 18 & I'm the only one likely to go on maternity leave in the extremely long future. Ah well. I'll be grateful for the card and enjoy not being at work for a year!

OP posts:
2rebecca · 23/05/2015 00:45

You're getting to go off for months with maternity leave, they are left covering for you and you want the presents?

MidniteScribbler · 23/05/2015 01:52

Just how much of people's wages do you feel that your fecundity entitles you to?

CactusAnnie · 23/05/2015 01:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

plummyjam · 23/05/2015 06:50

I'm going on my second mat leave soon. First time I did get a big send off, lots of presents I was very touched but it was a bit overwhelming tbh. This time I'd really just like to gather up my stuff into a box and slip quietly out the back door. I hate goodbyes.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 23/05/2015 06:56

I'm expecting nothing from my team. Not because they're thoughtless just because it's not something we do. There's too many of us and we'd all be super broke if collections were made for each event. I have said though I wouldn't mind being given a little cake to demolish in 10 seconds flat

Hoppityhippityhop · 23/05/2015 07:06

My colleagues of eight years standing didn't even bother to give me a card when I went on my first ML. It's a small work place, you would expect us to be tight knit and they knew how hard I'd fought to have a baby. They just didn't care and I realised that I didn't have any friends there.

BMW6 · 23/05/2015 07:15

Spare a thought for those colleagues covering your work while you are on a long leave....why not but THEM some flowers / cake to show your appreciation?

Cherryblossomsinspring · 23/05/2015 07:52

I was in a very small team of 5 and 4 of us were based internationally. We all had a baby in the same year. The boss decided that we should spend £50pp on a gift each time. I was last and boss was second last. I arranged his gift and the others never got around to paying me back. Then they didn't get me anything. So I spent hundreds. Wasn't too impressed. :(

MissDuke · 23/05/2015 07:56

Ah that will be it op, collection overload. Maybe they will send something after the baby is born, who knows!

dangerrabbit · 23/05/2015 08:06

YANBU....but what do your colleagues do when others at your company have their second child? If they don't get a present for a second child, maybe it's just the culture of your workplace rather than something personal against you. I would be feeling really miffed if colleagues were getting flowers etc for a second baby tho as then it feel more like something personal against you

ElleyBear13 · 23/05/2015 08:28

I'm torn on this one! Perhaps a box of chocs and a card would of been preferable however if your teams only small the collections can get ridiculous. We had a 50th wedding anniversary, a 40th birthday, one mat leave, one colleagues daughter gave birth, someone went on long term sick and a wedding in the space of three weeks with £5 to donate to each. I sometimes want to pull out of the works collections it gets too expensive. Every month im chipping in at least £10 for various collections which all mounts up.

BadgersArse · 23/05/2015 08:31

third baby I got a box of Maltesers

Man up oP

ICantDecideOnAUsername · 23/05/2015 08:46

YANBU to want a big fuss but yabu to expect one. It's nice and I admit I would be disappointed too. I'm due to go on maternity leave for no 2 soon but am in a different team. Although now I'm the team leader. Last time I got a card, vouchers, chocs and a bottle of wine (! male boss and immediate colleagues who admitted they didn't have a clue, even though they were all dads. I'd only been in the post 6 months and most people there didn't really know me yet so I think they thought I was leaving as the card was just a congratulations one. ). But I also took in 3 of those big tins of chocs for everyone to share.

Original poster
DancingHat · 23/05/2015 08:54

Oh because it's been my birthday this week and I was leaving I spent £10 on sweet treats for the team which were pretty much demolished by the end of Friday. So I do understand the importance of showing appreciation for my team (I am a manager but not the team manager). They also won't have to cover any of my work, nor would they be expected to as what I do is more specialised than the other colleagues. There's a full time replacement despite the fact I work part time as it's recognised I work bloody hard to get a full time job done in part time hours.

I'm happy to accept the balance of MN says IABU!

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