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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"As long as they are not ginger"

136 replies

Tiredbadger · 21/05/2015 15:09

I am currently expecting DC2.

I have just told my old boss the news and his first response was "I bet you want a boy" followed by "as long as they are not ginger." (Both DD and I have red hair).

AIBU to think this is so so rude and unprofessional, and even cruel to my DD?

OP posts:
Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 21/05/2015 16:30

I spent a lot of time in my teenage years trying to dye my hair s natural looking ginger! It didn't work! I love ginger hair. A disproportionate number of men I've fancied have ginger hair!

MarvellousMarbles · 21/05/2015 16:33

I hate 'as long as it's healthy' too

i'd have loved my DC just as much if they had health problems. Actually one of them does. And I have a pretty major disability. Doesn't make me any less of a person.

I understand that anyone would rather their DC didn't have to deal with a disability or health problem. But that's a very different sentiment to 'as long as its healthy'.

Mousefinkle · 21/05/2015 16:35

What an arse. Ginger hair is so beautiful.

My mum's the same though. The first question she asked when my brother was born is "is he ginger?" Hmm. My DD is sort of ginger, it's like a red brown but goes a lot more ginger in the sun and my mum often comments on how stunning it is, funny that...

Oh an attractive ginger man is really something else... I don't know why I find them really rugged and yum Grin.

Dansak · 21/05/2015 16:35

I got this all the way through my pregnancy, it was horrible.

Then when he was born everytime dh's family visited ds would be held up to the light to inspect his hair colour Angry. He was pretty much bald until 3 so there was a lot of discussion.

I did bite their heads off a few times but it didn't deter them, it was like an obsession.

Anyway, he turned out auburn and he's gorgeous Smile.

crazypuglady · 21/05/2015 16:37

I love my red hair.......... now I'm an adult. Bloody hated it as a kid.

I keep saying 'as long as it's not ginger' about the one I'm carrying now. I'd love it to have red hair but if it gets bullied for it I will not be responsible for my actions!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 21/05/2015 16:38

I have a auburn hint to my hair, but I dye it to make it more red. I have the most boring natural colour. I have freckles so I suit being a red head.

Bit off to say that since you and your DD have red hair.

AutumnFades · 21/05/2015 16:40

I'm ginger and very nearly 50 and have no grey hairs but heaven knows why given what my children get up to

derxa · 21/05/2015 16:45

That was awful Dansak. People really are thoughtless. Why do they think they can make such personal remarks at such a vulnerable time for any new mum?

spillyobeans · 21/05/2015 16:45

So rude!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/05/2015 16:47

There was a Lynx advert last year that was really derogatory to red heads, ds hated it. I can't remember what it was now , something along the same lines as ' always the bridesmaid and never the bride.'

smashedhen · 21/05/2015 16:57

I was disappointed when ds wasn't ginger, I would have loved a ginger baby

DonnaKebab66 · 21/05/2015 16:58

My nephew's ginger. (Irish background and my mum and brother have ginger hair, though not the brother who's my nephew's father.) I think it looks great. I'd love red hair, I think it stands out.

Strokethefurrywall · 21/05/2015 17:05

My best friend's little girl has the most amazing hair colour, the deepest red you've ever seen. Appropriate that her name is Scarlett!

I have dark brown hair and have spent many many $$$ trying to become a red head. It didn't work. I've resigned myself to dark locks (which arent bad it has to be said), but a beautiful head full of red hair makes me very Envy

popalot · 21/05/2015 17:06

He's just revealed to you what a wally he is.

Feminine · 21/05/2015 17:07

lw no its not rude now (of course)
Just odd, as my dad wasn't pleased about my red hair.
Maybe he has gotten over it? Grin

themitch21 · 21/05/2015 17:18

I really don't get this attitude. When I was pregnant with DD1 I accidentally overheard some work colleagues say they couldn't think of anything worse than having a ginger baby Hmm Seriously?! I have naturally red hair so was pretty upset at the time at it and called her out on it. All I got was the old "but you're strawberry blond line." So strawberry blond is ok but ginger is terrible?

aquashiv · 21/05/2015 17:21

David Brent is he?

LithaR · 21/05/2015 17:21

I really hoped my ds would be a red head. It's a gorgeous hair colour. I thought it would be more socially acceptable after Rupert Grint and Amy Pond. Always dye my hair red but have yet to get her colour :(

Choccyhobnob · 21/05/2015 17:26

I used to hate my hair growing up as the only ginger in a family of blondes and brunette and have been dying it blonde for the last 10 years. A couple of years ago I tried to dye it back to my natural colour and just hasn't worked and my roots have grown through much blonder than they used to be, actually wish I could be my natural colour again!

But then...I'm pregnant and expecting a boy and I really hope he gets DH dark colouring and gloriously tanned skin rather than my colouring Sad the pale, easily burnt skin and relentless teasing (which I think is much worse for boys than girls), I would just rather spare him it if I'm honest Sad

nippey · 21/05/2015 17:29

I'm have ginger hair, and love it but it was tough as a child. Expecting pfb DD in a few weeks and I really don't mind if she is ginger or not but would hate her to be as bullied as I was.

JessieMcJessie · 21/05/2015 17:34

It's just a joke. The whole point is that people DO like red/ginger hair so it's basically saying that the worst possible outcome could be red hair ie not a bad outcome at all. It's no different from wishing good luck.

partialderivative · 21/05/2015 17:34

When did the anti-ginger/red hair thing start?

I don't remember anything like this when I was in school during the 70's

(though there was plenty of other nasty shit)

nancy75 · 21/05/2015 17:36

Dp has red hair, I have to admit I was glad when dd was born with black hair - not because I think there is anything wrong with red hair but I know what crap red heads have to put up with.

bizmum1 · 21/05/2015 17:45

I find men with red hair very attractive - Ed Sheeran is lovely. If I was 10 years younger (well, 20 actually)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 21/05/2015 17:46

It's hair... it's just flipping hair. Putting emphasis on it at all is skewing peoples' commonsense. I'd be irritated if anybody commented on my children's hair (both blonde) and I'd think were thickwits. I would think that of anybody who buys into this artificial-make-a-fuss-because-they're-a-redhead nonsense. Confused

It is just HAIR, not good, not bad, just h-a-i-r. Stop promoting it either way, positively or negatively and render it what it is... just harmless, non-attention-seeking head covering.