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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

more of an i doing wrong re medical appts

28 replies

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 21/05/2015 14:56

if I have a medical thing to do docs, dentist, hospital and I have the kids I take them with me + ipad/ds.
I see loads of people saying they can't get child care so can't go for things.

Is there something I don't understand (ok quite a lot i know :) but relevant to this question).

OP posts:

CaramellaDeVille · 21/05/2015 14:58

How old are your children? It's not easy going for a smear test with a toddler and a baby in tow.

cailindana · 21/05/2015 14:58

It depends on the child and the appointment. I could take DD (2) to the GP for a quick check but no way could I take her with me to the dentist if I was having treatment like a filling - she'd lose the plot. DS (4) I could take anywhere, he'd just sit and wait while possibly complaining a bit.

Original poster

0x530x610x750x630x79 · 21/05/2015 14:59

i was thinking about adding an exception for bottom end stuff, i wouldn't take them for a smear etc.
I have done it all their lives, but only 1 at a time (one was in school before the other came along)

OP posts:

makeminea6x · 21/05/2015 15:02

Depends on the nature of what you want to discuss as well. I would feel uncomfortable and distracted to have my toddlers with me if I was trying to discuss my mental health. Equally as a HCP it can be difficult to be entirely forthright when discussing things such as cancer when you aren't sure what the patient is happy for his/her child to hear.

madreloco · 21/05/2015 15:21

Sometimes its inappropriate to bring your children with you. And who is actually going to look after them if you are in the dentist chair for 30 minutes, for example? Not you.

catslife · 21/05/2015 15:35

There are other kinds of hospital tests where you can't take dcs with you OP (the hospital won't allow it). These include X rays, CT scans and MRI scans where children can't go into the room with you so you do need to have someone to supervise dcs then (the medical staff aren't able to supervise dcs). Ultrasound is usually OK.

Purplepoodle · 21/05/2015 15:38

Iv had dental work with baby sat on my stomach. He was enthralled. Dentist suggested it as he was screaming in his pram. Now I try to book time when I know he will sleep and others at school.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 21/05/2015 15:40

DD won't be coming to my smear test

PurpleCrazyHorse · 21/05/2015 15:43

Our ultrasound (anti-natal) won't allow children in the scan room. DD is nearly 6yo, so she's fine to be left in the waiting area with her LeapPad for the short amount of time I'm having a scan, but I wouldn't leave a younger child. Luckily they do appointments in the evenings so DH has stayed at home with DD and I've gone on my own to the ultrasound appointment.

curlyweasel · 21/05/2015 15:45

Hm. Maybe transport is an issue? No car - having to lug children/pushchairs on buses. Multiple children? Behaviour issues? Privacy (maybe it's a counselling appointment, or as said above a smear, or wanting to talk to the Dr about depression, or long treatment). Just a few ideas.

Happyringo · 21/05/2015 15:50

When I worked as a sexual health nurse it was always a dilemma. People would sometimes look quite affronted when I said I would be asking some extremely intimate questions and were they ok with that, and a genital examination in front of their kids...people genuinely seemed to think that another member of staff would be able to mind the kids or something! I've had kids, with no nearby family/childcare, I really do know how hard it is - but some appointments it's just not appropriate to take them!

DazzleU · 21/05/2015 15:54

Local hospital wouldn't let DC in for normal pg ultrasound scans - and HCP here aren't keen for DC to be present at normal MW appointments. Complete contrast to where we used to live.

It was never appreciate when I had the GGT - and had to sit still - to have to look after a DC.

My last smear was done with sleeping baby at a delayed discharge from birth appointment - at doctors suggestion.

My current GP wouldn't' allow that with a baby.

I had to attend hospital appointments for one DC - and for one visit they are fine and welcoming to other DC - next it's a different member of staff and they insist they shouldn't be there even when being well behaved and mine very much are by anyone standard.

When DH was in hospital - another long term resident in his ward and staff were fine with his kids visiting - but I got crap every time but unlike other resident it was that or not visit at all - and I was already very limited when we could get there in their visiting times.

I've ended up - as DH works away a lot - having to go to family dental appointment by myself - and one dentists instead on sending me to hygienist - so DC had to come along and wait - and once doing a quick filling. If I'd know in advance I would have made some other arrangement - some how - as it was DC had bit of interest but didn't freak and behaved themselves.

It can depend on the children as well obviously.

TarkaTheOtter · 21/05/2015 16:02

I have a three year old and a one year old. When I was pregnant with dc2 my diabetes clinic appts were typically over an hour late. Once I had to wait three hours to be seen. I just about managed with just dd there with me using snacks and iPad etc.

If I get pregnant where I live now the delays are meant to be even worse, the hospital is 1.5hrs away on public transport and I have two toddlers. Think I'll be getting childcare.

Nibledbyducks · 21/05/2015 16:11

I took my daughter to a smear when she was a toddler, starpped her in the buggy and the nurse pulled the curtain across so that she could see my face and not the other end, she sat and chatted to me and kept my mind off it!

elliejjtiny · 21/05/2015 16:12

I normally take at least one dc to my appointments, sometimes it's impossible not to. I've taken little ones to smear tests, it's fine if they're young enough to be strapped in the buggy. Some HCP's are fine with it and some not so much. One dr is really lovely and always seems disappointed if I turn up and don't bring all 5 dc. However one of the midwives when I had dc5 really hoiked up her judgy pants when I was in HDU and dh didn't visit much because he was looking after the other dc.

WhatHappensNextNow · 21/05/2015 16:13

I have three dc. One with ADHD. Yes I take them to most things but the are others they are no way coming to!

TheDetective · 21/05/2015 16:16

I have to take mine. Single parent with a toddler and soon to be new baby.

No support.

What else would I do? I only do urgent appointments. Overdue smear, won't be getting that done for a while now I'm sure. Dentist - same. Can't do it, so won't be able to go.

Midwife appts I attend now, take DS and iPad sometimes food. Depends!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 21/05/2015 16:17

I have a smear test later today and if dh can't get home in time I will have to take the dc (age 4 and 6 months). I wouldn't think twice about taking them because it's just a medical exam, so I don't see what's inappropriate about having them there. I hadn't even thought that they might not be allowed in. Let's hope dh gets home on time then!

MrsTedCrilly · 21/05/2015 17:48

Why wouldn't some of you take them to smears? I'm planning on going soon with a 1 year old...

PacificDogwood · 21/05/2015 17:52

Weeeell, having had one smear test with DS1 screaming in the corner in spite of the lovely student nurse's effort to distract him because he was terrified of what was being done to me, and DS2(8 months) actually sitting on my belly while the nurse was rummaging around inside of me, I can see the issues.

Also, I'd shudder to think what it would be like if I rocked up anywhere with my 4 in tow - iPads or no iPads….

So, good for you, 0x520, but I think YABU for judging those who find it a struggle attending medical appointment with kids (even if it's not for smears).

MrsTedCrilly · 21/05/2015 20:10

Eeek! Thanks for answering.. I was hoping it would be okay as it's so quick!

lljkk · 21/05/2015 20:18

Why wouldn't some of you take them to smears?

Well actually it was an IUD implant in my case, and the baby + toddler both whinged a fair bit thru the whole thing (parked right next to me in the room, because where else could I put them?). It's bad enough losing all dignity with someone prodding around your nether parts without having raging hormones in case the baby kicks off.

This was back when surgery had a policy that all appts had to be made on the day, and that included for things like regular smears or IUD insertion, so I couldn't ask DH to take a day off now knowing until 9am if I even had an apt.

PacificDogwood · 21/05/2015 20:26

I don't think there is anything wrong with taking them for a smear btw (I x-posted with various people), I just found it rather stressful at the time

MrsTedCrilly · 21/05/2015 20:41

Well then I want it to be as relaxing as possible (1st time) so wee ted can stay at home

PacificDogwood · 21/05/2015 20:46

Aw, well done for going
Tell the nurse or whoever is doing it that it's your first time and they'll talk you though it and take their time.
It's not an awful experience, honest.

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