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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that this outfit wouldn't be something that a "bunny girl" or "stripper" would wear.

55 replies

Aquabat · 21/05/2015 12:58

Please be honest - because I have no desire to send dd to school dressed as either...

Tomorrow, dd's school has a dress-up day where all the kids are to dress smartly. DD, who doesn't do dresses, asked me if she could wear black leggings, white shirt and a bowtie.

Therefore, the outfit she is planning to wear is a new, long-sleeved white school shirt, a black bowtie and some normal black full-length leggings. She'll wear them with black, sensible, boots. She may wear a small adult size grey waistcoat that I bought from a charity shop today, providing it doesn't swamp her when she tries it on.

She described the outfit to her dad (my exH) on the phone last night, and he has sent me an email saying that he feels this is what bunny girls/strippers would wear and is therefore inappropriate.

I'm rather bemused, as it didn't occur to me for one second - and I still think that he is perhaps taking a somewhat unusual view on this...

Please could I have objective opinions - if you saw an 8 year old girl dressed in an outfit like this, would it make you think she was dressed inappropriately?

Thanks for your honest feedback.

OP posts:
Original poster
Aquabat · 21/05/2015 13:23

A monocle would be fab - not sure how to rustle one up though! (and I already feel as though I've spent far more time on this outfit than I have time for this week!)

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 21/05/2015 13:23

There is nothing wrong with that outfit. You would have to be strange to object to that.

Pantone363 · 21/05/2015 13:23

Bunny ears aren't sexy. Neither is a bow tie. On a topless high heeled lady they might be, but on a kid? Er no.

JessiePinkman · 21/05/2015 13:24

How strange. I wouldn't worry about it. Bunny girl is certainly not the first thing I'd think of from the description & I can't even see it now, email him the photo, sounds like he's over thinking it

plantsitter · 21/05/2015 13:26

Sorry but she is 8. Even if she were wearing spangly bra top and hot pants (which I would not let my kids wear incidentally!) she would not look like anyone offering any kind of sexual services, because she is 8.

I feel sorry for girls these days I really do. Your Ex H is being a total twat.

Lweji · 21/05/2015 13:27

The outfit itself is okeish, but not with leggins. Big no. And no boots if it's supposed to be smart. Really.

To be smart she needs proper trousers and shoes.

Lweji · 21/05/2015 13:29

Maybe I'll email him a picture of the outfit and say if he's concerned, maybe he could pick her up a pair of less "fitted" black trousers tonight...

Yes, do that. :)

RedRugNoniMouldiesEtc · 21/05/2015 13:29

He's wrong. On the plus side he clearly hasn't seen many bunny girls or strippers if he thinks that is what they wear. Perhaps send him back an email with three pictures, a bunny girl, a stripper and an 8yo ish child in leggings and a white top. Ask him if they are remotely similar!

Original poster
Aquabat · 21/05/2015 13:34

Just got an email from him. He's going to get her some black trousers tonight. He seems OK about it.

I don't think he's being deliberately antagonistic - probably more the "overthinking" thing. TBH - I agree that trousers would be better than leggings - just I don't have time to go into town and buy any just for yet another school dress up day! Smile

Thanks for your thoughts on this folks

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 21/05/2015 13:39

There is nothing wrong with leggings! She is 8 FFS! A little girl! I see lots of little girls in leggings and boots or pumps every day.
Can someone please explain why that is inappropriate and there is a need for it to be trousers?

INickedAName · 21/05/2015 13:43

Dd has to dress up tomorrow too, it's part of a VE Day celebrations thing and the they are "encouraged " to dress how people would have during VE celebrations. School included some photos for inspiration. I don't think there is anything wrong with the outfit, dd is wearing a white shirt, grey trousers, flat cap, and hopefully a waistcoat or tank top if the charity shop have one. So basically her school uniform with a flat cap :)

INickedAName · 21/05/2015 13:46

I also don't see why leggings are a no-no tbh.

Lweji · 21/05/2015 13:52

Leggings are not inappropriate for an 8 year old to wear every day, but they are certainly not "smart".

Original poster
Aquabat · 21/05/2015 14:04

I agree that leggings are not especially smart - tbh, I'm afraid that I'm not one of these parents that think "hurrah! another dress up day at short notice! What fun!" I tend to cobble together what I can on what little budget I have and hope for the best, and if DD is happy with what she has to wear then fine Smile

OP posts:
INickedAName · 21/05/2015 14:05

I think leggings can be smart.

I've stopped buying things for dress up days at school as I couldn't afford it, we make do with what we have and if dd didn't have trousers as part if her uniform, I'd not be buying a pair for one day wear. I only have one child, it would be very expensive for parents with more than one child in the same school.

The themes on dress up days at dd's school are not strict and are loosely applied, they are more of a vague suggestion than a strict dress code. I would imagine OPs school will think the OPs dd outfit perfectly fine.

squizita · 21/05/2015 14:46

Confused It is nothing like a bunny girl. They have a collar and waistcoat. .. NO SHIRT. It's his dirty mind. The outfits appropriate! Smile
It would remind me of a posh waiter! Grin
My 6 month old had her baby photos in a little shirt and bow tie.

Original poster
Aquabat · 21/05/2015 14:53

TBF she may end up with a waistcoat as well as the shirt...

But yes - I texted DP who was round here last night and saw DD wearing the outfit and asked him what the outfit reminded him of and he said posh waiter too! Grin

I bet those photos were very sweet btw Smile

OP posts:
Talismania · 21/05/2015 18:04

She should wear trousers but otherwise it's fine. Leggings should be worn only under skirts and dresses imo

balletgirlmum · 21/05/2015 18:06

Trousers would be better than leggings but dd has worn that kind of thing for dancing.

I'd definatly go for smart black shoes not boots though.

Lara2 · 21/05/2015 19:25

My MIL was a Bunny Girl - still has her costume and it looks nothing like that. I think it's fine.

Maryz · 21/05/2015 19:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 19:51

I think your exH needs to lay off the porn

sexualising an 8yo girl wearing a totally innocent outfit seems like rather worrying boundary-crossing to me

Original poster
Aquabat · 21/05/2015 20:05

To be fair, I think he just misunderstood from her description.

He's fine now he's seen a photo of the outfit.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 20:17

that's fine then

let's just ignore the fact he compared his 8yo to a stripper Hmm

SueBigFatSue · 21/05/2015 20:28

Decent thick leggings are fine. Even without a long top to cover your bum.

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