AIBU to ask on here because I need a quick answer

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Please help, DH is on his way home with an empty cat basket. Our old boy developed heart failure and he took him in this morning.
We have had him PTS.
How do I tell DD (3) she adores him. She told me this morning he is her bestest friend. She is going to be devastated.

What do I say? How do I word it? Please help!!!

So sorry for your loss

Do you have a bookshop near you? "Badger's parting gifts" is a very good book for that age.

Otherwise I'd tell her that he was old and very sick and that he has died, and that it's normal to be said (and that he's in heaven if you're comfortable with that)

Ok. We might have a special trip to the bookshop. Thank you for that suggestion. I feel woefully underprepared as a parent to deal with this.
I will tell her it's OK to be sad.

Clear, direct, no euphemisms (don't talk about 'long sleep's, use the words 'die' and 'death').

Oh I'm sorry.

I know that you're not supposed to use the expression "put to sleep" or "gone to sleep" when telling a child that an animal has died so be careful about that (otherwise it can create confusion or make the child worried about sleeping in case they don't wake up IYSWIM).

I think that you just have to explain that he was very old and poorly and although the vets can make animals better sometimes unfortunately your cat was too ill and died.

Oh no, I'm really sorry to hear that. I would also second what election said but understand its hard. Hope she's not too upset and you're all ok.
Maybe buy a small plant that she could help you put in the garden in memory of her best friend.

Oh Lord, how sad. Did your DD know he was ill?

No experience of this with such a young child I'm afraid, but you need to be truthful and say he was very poorly and the vet couldn't make him better so he gave him some special medicine to give him a lovely sleep. Obviously you need to make it clear he won't wake up from the sleep - are you religious? Does she know the concept of heaven? Much easier if she does but if not perhaps say after his sleep he'll go to a special place with all the other 'bestest friends'.

I'm sure someone else will have more practical help.

Yes agree that you don't want to confuse sleep with death as that will cause all sorts of problems.

I had to have my cat PTS a couple of years ago and the DCs, especially 9 yo DS, were all really upset. He still talks about her a lot now that we have another less nice cat.

I second the advice to just be honest and direct, that they tried to make him better but he was too old and too poorly to recover.

I think age is on your side here, both because your cat was old (losing a pet is never easy, but at least you can talk about all the fun things your cat got to do in all his years) and your DD is so young that hopefully she isn't yet at the stage of worrying about her own mortality.

Chablis I have to disagree with that I'm afraid. The "special medicine" and "lovely sleep" bits would just be too confusing for a 3 yo to take on board and could create a long-lasting confusion.

It sounds harsh I know but the explanation needs to be simple and direct.

So sorry to hear this. It's hard to loose a beloved pet.
We had our dog PTS last year when DS was 3. We told him that the dog got too poorly and the vet tried very hard but couldn't make him better this time. We did talk about dog heaven and that he is happy chasing balls and sticks now. We also said that we could look at the stars in the sky at night and imagine one of the stars is our dog. This really seemed to help.
Be prepared for lots of questions about dying and possibly referring to other pets and people too.
DS still talks about our dog but in a positive way.
Hope it goes ok.

Yes, as Norbert said, unless you want to give your DD a lifelong fear of taking Calpol and going to bed, avoid the words medicine and sleep!

^Was just about to say the same, Amy, almost to to the word!

Keep it simple and truthful they quite robust little creatures (children that is)

Do not be surprised if she is upset for only a very short time. Children this age have no concept of gone "forever" so their sadness is very different to an adults. I work with children this age and they are very matter of fact when talking about loss of pets and even relatives.

Goodbye Mog is also a good book.

"Special Medicine" and "sleep"... unless you have very different children than any of mine you'll scare them witless.

My father died when son was 3 and he was so matter of fact over death, he thought heaven was a cool place like chocolate trees and lemonade rivers

So sorry this is one of the worst things. Definitely be straightforward. My dcs are older but when our cat died it was awful. We miss her a lot.
The suggested book sounds like a good idea. I'm sorry for your loss.

I would add a note of caution about the books being recommended. I had my grandfather died when I was 4 and I was given a book like this (I think it may have been the badger one mentioned above, it definitely featured a badger) I think I was actually really traumatised by it - I had never really understood the idea of death before but after that became quite obsessed with the fact that my parents, my sister and I were one day going to die. There followed 2 or 3 years of me crying about this at night (not grieving for my grandfather who I didn't know very well but just about the idea that we were all going to die), extremely distressed, a complete nightmare for my parents obviously - but apparently this is a recognised phenomenon among some children who understand death a bit before they're emotionally ready for it. Personally I'd definitely take a more vague approach (maybe confining the explanation to cats) and I'd definitely try to do a bit of reading on child psychology before thinking about how to discuss it. Not trying to scare you, but unfortunately it can't be assumed that children are robust.

Don't say gone to sleep! Got told my mum died in her sleep when I was 3 and still don't sleep well now!

We have had to have several pets euthanised and explained to the children that often vets can make sick pets better but sometimes they are so sick or in so much pain that it is kindest to help them die peacefully.

We don't have faith and I do t use 'heaven' as a concept. They helped us bury the animals and understand that their dead bodies melt into the earth and help new things to grow.

Do not say "was given special medicine and went to sleep"! Keep it clear and direct and be prepared for questions. I lost my Nana at 3 and one of my earliest memories is my Dad explaining "death" to me. Thankfully he did a wonderful job, but things like this really stick and really matter.

Losing a loved family pet is difficult. Hugs to you all.

Reading this with interest as I have a 4yo and a very elderly cat.

Some sensible advice on here, will remember it.

That's what I meant by keeping it truthful and simlpe, they're then more robust in their thought process rather than being all wishy washy and in turn putting fear into them,

*Simple doh!

Tell them about the rainbow bridge. There is a website. A bit twee and l would usually avoid stuff like it but l found it strangely comforting when my lovely boy was hit by a car a little time ago. He didn't even make it to the vet. Good luck.

I had my cat PTS when my children were a similar age. My dd came in (my DH had warned her mummy was sad because the cat had died), gave me a cuddle and said 'I'm so sad Dcat has died now can we get a rabbit?'
Agree with the PPs, just use clear direct language, tell them it's ok if they feel sad but don't expect them to be really upset at that age.