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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog poo. Is my neighbour BU?

65 replies

Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 15:18

Over the past 3 weeks our neighbour has started to let their dogs poo on our shared driveway. I lifted and disposed of 5 massive poos from under our kitchen window last week, stood in a pile outside our back gate on Saturday and lifted and disposed of another 4 piles on Sunday as I couldn't bear to look at it any longer.

They recently got a new dog and I suspect it's the new dog doing it. They have an enormous back garden which is why I can't understand why they let them poo in the driveway!!! It's driving me mad as I don't want our DCs to step in it and it smells! I've just looked out and there's another massive pile outside our back gate. I really want to knock on their door and speak to them about it but DH says not to as we have no actual proof that it's their dog and they'll get all defensive and fall out with us. AIBU? What would you do?

OP posts:
BubGal13 · 19/05/2015 16:13

Most councils have a dog warden & they would probably come out to see you/"the situation" a friend also had similar, she complained to council & they sent refuse round to scoop the mess up pretty pronto- even on private driveway.

Original poster
Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 16:15

That's a pretty extreme measure though. They would definitely never speak to is again if we reported them to the council.

OP posts:
BubGal13 · 19/05/2015 16:17

Only mean as a last resort/back-up if it doesn't all get better after talking to them Smile

ginslinger · 19/05/2015 16:17

I'm echoing a polite question - don't go for PA approaches

foraret · 19/05/2015 16:18

You have my sympathies! I'm glad you weren't abused or accused of being a troll. I posted a similar thread about cat poo in my back yard and was accused of all sorts. Weird.

I love the idea of a motion-detecting water pistol! ha ha! My friend gave me one of those sound things but the cats just walk towards it and then crap nearer to my back door than they usually do.

Icimoi · 19/05/2015 16:19

Could you just keep your phone handy and take a quick photo if you see the dog in the act? That way you will have evidence if they deny it. But I wouldn't go round all guns blazing, just very matter of factly take the line that they might not be aware of what is happening, you realise that with a new dog he might take some time to get it, and could they perhaps just make sure he keeps off your driveway? Your DH is right that you need to avoid getting into a battle with them.

limitedperiodonly · 19/05/2015 16:20

A long, long time ago I was a local reporter and I moved from a very quiet paper in a lovely area to a very exciting one. Exciting for me. Not for the poor sods who had to live there.

When I left, the raging topic of debate on the letters' page was cat shit in gardens.

When I arrived the lead story was someone who was attacked by a knife-wielding gang and bled to death on someone's doorstep.

He'd desperately tried to get shelter but they were too scared to open the door. They called 999 but the scratching and sobbing grew fainter and finally stopped before the ambulance arrived.

Just one reason why I don't regard pet shit in the garden and talking to the neighbours in nice areas to be a big problem.

yellowdinosauragain · 19/05/2015 16:21

Bubgal I find this (quote from your post) ridiculously passive aggressive:

I'd calmly approach neighbour (or if you cant pop letter through) saying "oh have you send the horrendous dog mess just left on our driveway recently, do you know whose dogs it could be? my DC nearly stepped in it so Im now very angry, getting to the point that if it happens again I have no choice but to report to council who take this issue very seriously! (could even add) My friend even suggested we all install CCTV to catch the culprits and show footage to council, what do you think?"" play a bit clueless like not pointing finger at them, while letting them know you're no way going to just put up with this

All this 'have you seen the terrible dog who's doing this' rubbish, rather than politely asking your neighbours, with a new dog if their dog has been pooing on the drive and please could they clean up after it is just daft. Given that that's the most likely cause rather than it being some bizarre coincidence that dog poo is mysteriously appearing on the op's drive coinciding nicely with when the neighbours get a new dog.

If they deny it is their dog then asking if they wouldn't mind looking out for the culprit is perfectly reasonable, but if your first approach about my nonexistent dog was done how you suggested, I'd think you were being utterly ridiculous.

foraret · 19/05/2015 16:27

The problem is, if you, plainly speaking, tell your next door neighbour that you can hear their dogs barking and their dogs are pooing in your garden, 9 times out of ten that will cause tension!

I wouldn't go for the passive aggression either!

My neighbour did ask me a while ago if I could hear her television set and I said 'no, your dog barking' and the silence that followed. She can't prevent her dog from barking but it's quite old and I do hope that she won't get another one.

Original poster
Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 16:42

I think my DH fears this will go down badly however we approach it and we really don't want to fall out with them! CCTV, phoning council, the police or water pistols are all out of the question! Limit period, thank you for some perspective. When you put it like that I do feel like I'm being a tad melodramatic!

OP posts:
rockybalboa · 19/05/2015 16:56

You're not being melodramatic! It's regular dog shit on your drive. Revolting. I can't see how your neighbours are suddenly going to go "oh yeah sorry about that, we'll stop the dog doing it or clear it up pronto if it does". It seems very unlikely that the owner of the shitting dog doesn't know what their dog is up to and if it is your neighbour's dog then they obviously don't care two hoots. So asking them plainly about it will achieve nothing because either it's not their dog so they will get the hump that you have insinuated it is or it is their dog and they just don't care. It's not a bloody accident is it?

soverylucky · 19/05/2015 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

404UsernameNotFound · 19/05/2015 17:05

I'd have a word with the police on 101 as dog fouling is a criminal offence isn't it?

Oh bloody hell really?! The Police have you know, crime to deal with. Calling the Police would be the most ridiculous OTT thing you could do. Thankfully OP seems to have the common sense not to take that advice seriously.

If you call anyone OP make it your local councils 'environmental crime' department. They are the ones that deal with these situations.

Costacoffeeplease · 19/05/2015 17:07

Oh yes, phone the police, they've got nothing better to do, have they? How ridiculous - just talk to them!

Original poster
Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 17:08

Well that's the whole dilemma isn't it. I suspect they know it's their dog and don't actually care so we could be headed for a fall out either way. And I'll carry on cleaning up someone else's dog shit because I can't bear to look at it, making myself even more livid each time because the alternative is to have a driveway piled high with steaming dog shit. Great. I'm still not reporting them though. That would be WW3 right there. Ideally Im hoping I'll speak to them, they'll be mortified, clean it up. End of story. I just want sense to prevail weeps

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 19/05/2015 17:14

Maybe I'm picturing this wrongly, but wouldn't they only be on the shared driveway on a lead? In which case the owner would have to be holding the lead, and see them poo? Or what?

Original poster
Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 17:19

Koala I was thinking this too as the only way in to the back garden is through a locked gate.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wineloffa · 19/05/2015 17:20

But I cannot fathom why you wouldn't pick it up!

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 19/05/2015 17:22

Another dog owner here who'd want to know if my pet misbehaved in a neighbour's space.

Speak to him.
'How's the new dog settling in? Is it him who's pooping on the drive way? I've been clearing up because I don't want the children to step in to it. Could he stay in your garden for his business until he's learnt where to go and where not to? I'll let you know when there's more to clear up'.

Something like this.

I'd not go down the paranoid-CCTV-report to council-route, but I do appreciate that I have v sensible neighbours who'd likely be mortified if their pet did that. As would I be...

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 19/05/2015 17:27

Spycam.

rockybalboa · 19/05/2015 17:30

Oh ffs, I'm not suggesting OP calls 999 but where we live we have PCSO officers who deal with this sort of thing. Clearly it's not a matter which needs CID to investigate but it is the sort of thing which affects community cohesion and that's what PCSO's are there to help with.

MokunMokun · 19/05/2015 17:33

Just ask politely if it's their dog and if so could they pick up after it. It's really not a big deal. If they deny its their dog and it still happens then you'll have to try and catch the culprit in the act. It may not actually be their dog.

KoalaDownUnder · 19/05/2015 17:36

That is so bizarre - I can't imagine seeing your dog do a poo on the (shared!) driveway and just leaving it there! If there's no way they can wander onto the driveway by themselves, it's worse because you know the owners saw them poo Shock

I definitely agree with talking to them first, though. No need at all to involve a third party (yet). That's what's much more likely to create bad blood.

nickersinaknot · 19/05/2015 17:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

404UsernameNotFOund · 19/05/2015 17:47

Rocky PCSO's may deal with less serious matters but even they don't need to be called out to a pile of dog shit which the neighbours dog may or may not have left. It's a complete and utter waste of their (precious) time.

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