To be at the end of my tether?

[dontrunwithscissors]

Both DH and I work full-time. We have two DDs (5 & 8), no family nearby and no close friends we can call on. We've struggled our way through the last 8 years, barely managing to do the basics. The house is a constant mess because we just don't have the time or energy.
I do all of the organising stuff that comes with kids as they get older (parties, brownies, homework, being upset because her friend doesn't like her dress.).

Over the last 6 weeks, my husband has been in hospital with kidney stones, my youngest has been very poorly with a UTI. Then I had toe nail surgery and they got infected. Then DD2 got another UTI. Then my toenail got infected again. Then dDD1 got a vomiting bug. Now I have a cold/earache. I've been the one taking the time off to sort all of this out. I've only managed this because, basically, I've done no work. I have a very flexible job, but I still need to make this lost time up. On top of this, I have bipolar disorder so I need to be very careful to protect my sleep, not get too stressed.

I had a meltdown last night. I just can't see how we can keep managing like this. My boss wants to push me through for promotion & I know I can do well, but not with life like this. I feel like the poor kids are suffering. They get pushed out the door every morning and rushed to bed every evening. We often just don't find the time to do homework. My career is slowly going down the pan becausein all honestyI'm not doing the work. I just feel at breaking point & can't figure out how to keep going.

To be clear: my husband is not a slacker. He does everything he can, but he works in the most horrible, bullying place. He feels sick and has chest pains when he goes to work each morning. He works his ass off, but gets sworn at every day. He took some time off for a sick kid a while ago and was told 'he's not a man' for doing it. He's been told they will find a way to get rid of him if he takes any more time off to look after the kids. He's terrified.

Sorry for the long rant--AIBU for feeling like we just can't keep going like this? Do other people manage this kind of stuff OK? Am I just not 'tough enough'? I really don't know.

Set up a meal plan and an online shopping list via Morrison's etc and then add to it as you run out of stuff and when you have a decent list order it for home delivery.

There are Lots of threads on here about batch cooking and money management. For e.g. from cooking 3kg mince, you have got enough to turn into lasagne, shepherds pie, chilli, Keema & peas curry and Bolognese sauce. Just portion out ,freeze and finish off into your chosen dish when ready to eat.

Buy a slow cooker and it will save you so much time and money, I put it on before I leave in the morning and my dinner is ready for when I get home at 6pm.

OP it sounds like really hard work!
Your DH sounds like he's having a hard time too.

It sounds like you are a strong supportive couple - this is brilliant news...

If DH is having chest pains at work do you think it would set your minds at rest a little bit if he gets checked out on that front?

Sounds like a positive decision like your DH being a temporary sahp or a downsize might be worth serious consideration. Do you think if DH was out of work for a positive reason like that it might make sense for him to see an agency of some kind related to his profession. I don't know the area but going to see a recruitment person might open up some thoughts on careers.

Sounds like you career could be really fulfilling if you get the chance to do it properly - and October 2016 isn't that far away as an investment in time goes.. You need to put things in place so you have the summer to write. What about some kind of writers retreat or even sending DH off to a caravan with the kids for a week? If ou do have savings that might be an investment worth the price. Summer holidays aren't that far away so concentrate on the next few weeks with your kids and making that work too

Good luck

Ah yeah, I can see with the recent drop in fuel prices that there might be a struggle for jobs actually.

It's only a matter of time before Aberdeen goes the way of the dodo - almost an entire economy based on one finite resource was never going to end well!